It Was Written

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself...

2007-01-19T06:39:00.000-05:00

T. Cas is done...

Check out Rashan Jamal at my new spot...

http://rashansbeatsrhymesandlife.blogspot.com/

Every one is welcome...even you!

Until then...

IT WAS WRITTEN!!!

Don't Call It A Comeback

2007-01-16T12:45:00.000-05:00

Inspiration: LL Cool J - "Mama Said Knock You Out" - "Dont call it a comeback/I been here for years/Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear/Makin the tears rain down like a mon soon/Listen to the bass go boom/Explosion overpowerin/Over the competition Im towerin/Wreckin shop when I drop these lyrics thatll make you call the cops/Dont you dare stare, you betta move/Dont ever compare/Me to the rest thatll all get sliced and diced/Competitions payin the price"

What I'm Listening To - No music right now, but I'm listening to Sportscenter. Stuart Scott is saying something corny as always.

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today: "What do I write about first?"

What's good, people? How ya been? It's been about a month since I posted or read a blog, but I'm back. Why did I leave? Well there are a few reasons. First, I moved. I'm in a new spot now and I didn't get my internet hooked up until today. Secondly, I decided, (or they decided for me) that I shouldn't blog at work. I don't have access to Blogger at work anymore, so I couldn't post there. Finally, I just haven't had much to say. I've just been doing the regular thing. Going to work, coming home, going out occassionally. Nothing too blogworthy to talk about (or choose to talk about.) But I'm back now, I have internet access and I'm sure I can come up a whole bunch of nothing to blog about. For all you who are wondering, I didn't start a new blog. I'm still right here, I just haven't gotten around to posting. I'll probably be making some changes soon, but for now, I'm back. Don't call it a comeback.

It was written...

Merry christmas

2006-12-24T13:49:00.000-05:00

I want to wish everyone a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I probably won't be posting again until ' 07 so until then be easy!

Cheatin'

2006-12-19T23:04:00.000-05:00

Inspiration - "Cheatin' " Little Brother - "You was cheatin' (yes you was)/, caught you creepin' (yes I did)/To the window, to the wall, [to the wall] skeet-skeetin' (you cold busted)/Heavy breathing (out the door), now I'm leavin'.."

What I'm Listening To - Jay - Z - "Kingdom Come" on my work speakers. I'm probably not supposed to do that. LOL

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Am I really getting paid to do crossword puzzles and surf the net?"

I was having an interesting conversation earlier and I wanted to open it up to the readers to see what you think. A female friend and I were talking about cheating. She said that cheating was worse for a woman if it was emotional in nature rather than physical. She would be more apt to forgive a transgression if it was just sex than if the man had an emotional connection. It makes sense; I've heard that from women before. But for men, I think it would be different.

My opinion, in this hypothetical situation, is that a man may not be able to forgive easily if his woman got down with another man. It seems like that would be the ultimate blow to a man's ego. If it's just emotional, then there's still a chance that you can win the woman back, but once she takes the steps to consumate that union, its a wrap. To quote Jay -Z "once a good girl is gone bad, she's gone forever." It may not be right, but I think that's how most men think. I know there probably aren't many men who would admit being cheated on, but I'm interested in how they would handle that situation.

Personally, I don't know if I could just forgive and forget. I think that if I knew, that would be the end of the relationship right then and there. There is no cooling off period, or trying to work it out. Perhaps it's a pride thing, but I think it would be easier to get past it if no sex was involved.

So, now I ask you... Which is worse, emotional cheating or physical cheating? How would you handle a situation in which your mate cheated on you? Is that a deal breaker for you? I know for a lot of people it would be ideally, but when it happens in real life, what have you done? If you don't wanna put your business out there, leave it anonymously if you like. I'm interested to read your opinions.

It was written...

A Good Weekend

2006-12-18T17:02:00.000-05:00

What's good bloggers and bloggettes!?!? I had a pretty good weekend. Friday, I hung out with some of my former coworkers. After work, I went to the Cheesecake Factory at Cumberland Mall with a crew for an early birthday celebration for my homegirl, K. I got off at 5 and was supposed to meet them at 6, and for one of the first times ever in my whole entire life, I was the first one there. Matter of fact, I was so early, that I walked around the mall for a little. I hate the mall most times, but since its been probably about 6 months since I been there, I was okay. Went to Macy's to find me some new smell good and I came across a few. My favorite was Polo Double Black, so if you just so happen to be in the market to get T. a Christmas gift, that would be a good choice. Enough shameless pandering, everyone finally arrived and we finally got seated at the restaurant around 7:15. We had a good time catching up and cracking jokes and stuff. I had the Chipolte Chicken Pasta and a couple of mojito's that weren't quite strong enough. All in all, it was a good time and I wasn't my normal reserved anti social self.

After the dinner, I headed to my sister's crib to watch my niece and baby nephew. I love them kids something terrible. My older nephew had a function at his school and I stayed with the other kids while my sister went with him. My niece was knocked out, but the baby fought sleep for awhile before I finally got him down. It's so cool watching a baby learn things. Their minds are like a blank slate. It could be my imagination, but I swear that I taught the baby how to count on his fingers. Okay, I know he didnt know what i was saying, but when i counted on his fingers, he did the same on mine. I got him to sleep at about 11, and chilled the rest of the evening.

I didn't really do anything on Saturday, besides talk on the phone and watch TV. My love hate relationship with the Falcons continues as they lost once again.. this time to the Cowboys. Loudmouth T.O. scored a couple times and although I do like him, I hated to see him run through our defense. On a side note, i'm starting to get my appetite back and I ate twice on both Saturday and Sunday. Sunday was another day to chill. I hung out with my nephew and niece while they cleaned up the guinea pig cages and played with the baby some more. Later that night, I got up with a friend and hung out with her and her baby at a lake (okay, its a man made lake, but you get the point.) We had a good time just chillin, and as much as I don't do outside, I really enjoyed being one with nature. The skies were clear and the stars were shining. I think its time for me to have a baby of my own and stop bogarding other people's kids. Anyway, that was my weekend, how was yours? Anything exciting?

It was written...

The Christmas Tag

2006-12-15T11:30:00.000-05:00

I haven't been reading blogs this week so I don't know if this one is out there. Hopefully this one hasn't been done to death yet. As always, feel free to do this tag on your blog. Thanks to everybody that has been reading and commenting. I know it may seem rude, but I havent had time to check your blogs out, but I'm hoping to get a chance to over the weekend. If not, please know that I do appreciate your presence.

The Christmas Tag.

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? I like hot chocolate better, but chocolate gives me migraines, so give me some nog, preferably spiked

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? I can't remember the last time I got a wrapped gift from Santa or otherwise. Maybe it'll be one of those gift bags, but no wrapping paper.

3. Colored lights or white lights on tree/house? I like them colored and blinking. It's more festive to me.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Not so much.. maybe this year I'll hang it from my belt. LOL

5. When do you put up your decorations? I haven't done it in a while, since I'm a lonely single bachelor (pause for sympathy) but it used to be the day after Thanksgiving

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? My grandmother's Macaroni and cheese, no doubt. Our Christmas meals have been pretty non traditional. My sister doesnt eat meat, except for seafood, so in addition to ham or turkey, we would have shrimp and oysters. It's a great mixture.

7. Favorite childhood holiday memory. Too many to mention. I'm thinking about riding a sled down a hill in New York as a kid.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? For some reason I can't remember. I do remember seeing my father putting to get together my hot wheels track when i was 6, but I didnt make the correlation to my parents being Santa.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? If I get one, I will.. I usually like to wait though

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Lots of lights, lots of ornaments, lots of candy canes.

11. Snow: love it or dread it? I used to love it, but I'm not trying to see no snow in the ATL. The city will shut down.

12. Can you ice skate? Not at all. I can't even roller skate

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Probably 1990 when I got a new boom box/cd player and my first two CD's. K Solo's "Tell The World My Name" and Monie Love's "Down To Earth"

14. What’s the most important thing to you about the holidays? Being of good cheer. It's the one time when everyone at least pretends to get along.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Red Velvet Cake. I need to solicit someone to make me one this year. I used to have a hook up a few years ago, but I need a new one.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Just hanging with the family and having dinner. We don't do all that caroling and stuff like that, its just cool to get together and chill.

17. What tops your tree? If I had one it would be a gaudy, flashing star.

18. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving gifts? I like giving, but receiving isn’t bad, either. Nope forget that. I want to receive this year.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? Is it called "The Christmas Song?" You know, the one Nat King Cole did about "chestnuts roaring over an open fire?" That one is my favorite. I used to be in chorus in high school, so every year we sang a bunch of Christmas songs. I had one solo in a doo wop version of "Sleigh Ride", so I like that one too.

20. Favorite Christmas movie? It's not a movie, but I have to watch the cartoons of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" I guess the movie would be "It's A Wonderful Life"

Everybody have a good weekend. I'll get at you next week.

It was written...

Purple Rain

2006-12-13T09:59:00.000-05:00

I dont know where this came from, but for some reason I am at work thinking about Purple Rain. I love this movie and the soundtrack. As you can see, my new job is not very exciting right now and my mind is wandering. I also don't feel like coming up with a real post, so just because I can, here are my 10 favorite things about the Purple Rain.

1. The music - This is obvious, but Prince and the Revolution and Morris Day and The Time were the ish. I even liked Appolonia's girl group and Dez Dickerson's group, whose name escapes me right now.

2. The pure pimpiness of Morris and Jerome. When Jerome throws the girl in the dumpster. That was the funniest pimp move I can remember

3. When Prince kooks out during Darling Nikki and starts humping the stage. I love when the club owner says " I dont know what you think this is, Kid, but this is bidness"

4. Appolonia's breasts. - The "wait that's not Lake Minnetonka" scene was classic. I remember being a perved out 11 year old, rewinding the tape to that scene over and over again.

5.The I Would Die For U dance. When Prince does the sign language thing and does the touching himself dance is hilarious

6. When Prince slaps the mess out of Appolonia and realizes he is just like his father - too cold

7. The motorcycle - Who was cooler than Prince riding through Minneapolis on that bike?

8. The scene after Prince's daddy shoots himself and Morris walks by the dressing room and says "How's the family?" The Time starts laughing, but Morris gives that look of regret.

9. The crazy fashion and hair styles. Prince is rocking a purple sequin coat with studs and everybody got big hairspray filled do's

10. The fact that I love the movie and cd, even though I have no idea what Purple Rain symbolizes. What is he even talking about? Can anyone break that down for me?

You remember this movie? What are some of your favorite moments? Or tell us about a movie that you remember every line to?

It was written...

Jordan or James (23)

2006-12-11T13:28:00.000-05:00

I remember reading about the Nation of Islam when I was a teenager. I can't remember if this was in a book or in the Final Call, but I read somewhere that a man should find a wife that is half his age plus 7. For me that would make her 23. It's a good concept, but I feel like a dirty old man tryna holla at a 23 year old. I bring this up because over the last week at my job, I have run into my share of 23 year old women.

Now, KZ and Synsational, don't worry. I still am not messing with any of the girls at the job. I'm gonna leave that alone... for now. I hear your warnings and plus I have plenty of real life experiences that tell me that it is not a good idea. Like the stalker at the job in Savannah or the clingy work not my girlfriend at my last job. I'm leaving them alone. But... that don't mean I cant look right? The scenery is crazy out here. My training class is in a window encased room and I can't help but to look out and girl watch. I got 2 classmates who make sure I see everyone if I happen to miss it.

My point was this. 23 year olds are too young for me. They ain't been through enough to be able to relate. They still in the club every weekend phase. But damn if I aint tempted by the one who stands too close to me and likes to hit me on my lack of azz. Or by the girl who looks good some of the time... who now looks good all of the time. (She looks like Mya, that's her new name) or the one that just blew me a kiss when she caught me looking bout 3 minutes ago. They are all 23 years old, 9 years younger than me. That's too young, right?

On another note, this is my one year anniversary in blogging. I figured 1 year was enough, but I changed my mind. I have about 220 posts, which is probably way too many for 365 days. I need to get a life one of these days, and stop with the blogging, but that isnt likely to happen anytime soon, so I am still here. Thanks for sticking around and checking me out. I hope it's been entertaining.

It Was Written...

I Never

2006-12-05T07:42:00.000-05:00

I'm biting off of Xavier's Truth or Dare idea from a couple months back. You ever played that drinking game called I Never? Basically, you say something you never have done, and if the people playing with you have done it, they have to take a drink. I wanna try something a little different on the blog. I am going to say something that I have never done and if you have done it then I need you either to tell us about it on your blog or in the comments section. Please be sure to let us know that you posted about it. Also, once you have answered truthfully, it is your turn to say something you have never done. It'll be either fun, or incredibly annoying. I'll start off with 3 things I have never done. Let's see how far we can spread this across the blog community.

I never have been bungee jumping.

I never shot a gun

I never been to Europe

If you did it, tell us all about it. And then give me an "I Never" and I will write about them later in the week.

It Was Written

Drugs Are Bad, Mmkay?

2006-12-04T06:58:00.000-05:00

Warning: The following is a rant...

I was going to write about my uneventful weekend this morning. I was going to tell you about how I hung out with my brother and sister on Saturday and watched football all day Sunday. Or perhaps I was gonna finally talk about what I did last week on my birthday or maybe even pull out a short story from the files. Then I woke up and saw the comment on my last post. Now all I can say are drugs are bad, mmkay? If you get a chance read this anonymous comment from 2:00 in the morning. It's long as hell and rambling so don't spend too much time on it, but take a look. I'm not sure what it has to do with me, but it makes no sense at all.

This brings me to my next point. The anonymity of the internet is one of the things that drew me to the blogging world at first. As time went by, I slowly took the opportunity to reveal more about myself and share some of my quirks with the handful of readers out there. I hope people don't think that they truly know everything about me just because they read my rantings everyday. I don't tell everything here, just like I don't tell everything to people in real life. As much as I try to be open, some stuff is just not for public consumption. The nature of this blog thing is egocentric. Everybody presents what they want you to know, and hides what they don't want you to know. I'm guilty of that as well. While I show certain aspects of myself, there are portions of my life that you will never know and I assume that most people are like that.

So Mr. Anonymous, (and I do know who you are, just not going to shout your name out to give you any notoriety. If you knew anything about me, you would know that I am obsessed with my sitemeter and matching up comments with locations and names) please move on. If you don't like what I'm writing, or if you in some way feel morally superior, then don't read. Reserve your diatribes for your own blog. If you want to engage in a debate, get at me personally or at least let it make some sense. My email is on my profile or I'm sure there are plenty of chat rooms out there that will listen to and encourage your rantings. This is a drama free zone, unless it's mine.

It Was Written...

The New Cast of Characters

2006-11-30T21:45:00.000-05:00

I was in training at work today, bored out of my skull, so I decided to start writing down my observations of the people around me. Work is going pretty well, with the exception of being more advanced than some of the other people in my training class and having to wait for them to catch up. I haven't been able to feel out the whole internet policy just yet, so until then, I'll just be blogging from home, so don't be surprised if you see comments at 4 AM on your spot. Yeah, I still don't sleep at night. Anyway, here are some of the characters I've run across in my 3 days at my new spot.

Compulsive Cursing Guy - This dude sits next to me and every other word out of his mouth is either damn, ass, or mothafucka... I don't think he even realizes he is doing it. I wonder if he has Tourette's or something, cuz he is loud with it. Here's an example from today... "Deez muhfuckas is crazy. They think my ass is gonna read all this damn paperwork. Sheeeiiittt!!" He also likes to talk about all the "bad bitches" in the building. That was a quote, so dont get mad at me. LOL

Washed Up R&B Singer - There's a dude who is a singer for a group that I have heard of, but can't name any of their songs. I wouldnt recognize him if I saw their video on TV, but apparently other people know them. He loves to talk about when he was on 106 and Park and had a hit single and sing for the ladies and how his group is looking for a new label. I wonder if its real, but I'm too lazy to look it up.

Mississippi - I can't ever remember this girl's name, but I know she is from Mississippi, so that's what I call her. She is the touchy feely type. At first, I thought it was me, cuz on the first day, she had rubbed on my arm, but I notice that she's like that with everybody. She is pretty cool, in a I don't understand the words that are coming out of your mouth way. Our conversations are peppered with huh? and what'd you say?

Los Tres Amigos - There are three Hispanic women who always talk to each other in a mixture of English and Spanish. They don't talk to anybody else really, and I suspect that English is their second language, because they tend to leave out certain vowels when they read or write. They don't talk to the the next one in the group.

The Texican - Her heritage is Mexican, but if anybody asks where she is from, she says.. Texas in a tone that says how dare you assume I'm Mexican. I feel where she is coming from, but people keep asking her about her nationality. It's pretty politically incorrect, I guess.

The Gay Stereotype - Flame on, Flame off.. He introduced himself to the group by telling us about how he found the love of his life 6 months ago, and showed a picture of his boyfriend. Often says ridiculous Gay Stereotypical statements, like today when he told somebody, "chile I got 6 words for you... To The Left, To The Left.." complete with snapping fingers and neck roll. Oh, yeah, this guy is White.

The Guy That Stabbed Someone 37 Times - We were doing an ice breaker thing, and we had to play this game called Two Truth's and A Lie. Basically, you say 2 true things and one lie and the group has to figure out which one was a lie. One of this guys things was that he stabbed someone 37 times when he was 13. And that was not the lie. I'm watching my back around this cat. I never know when he might snap. Plus he mumbles when he talks so I don't know what he is saying. He could be talking to Satan or something.

The Overexcited Management Team - I can't describe just any one of them, but it seems like all the management from the VP down are drinking the Kool-Aid. It's a huge difference from my last spot where nobody ever seemed happy, and jealousy and back stabbing was a way of life. Don't tell anybody, but I think cynical T. Cas actually kind of likes their energy.

The Girl That Looks Good Sometimes - I only been at the spot a few days but this girl goes from looking good to looking bad at least 3 times a day. I dont know what it is. I think there was an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry was dating a girl like that.

100 Guns 100 Clips (I'm from New York) - This girl is from New York. She says it at least 3 times a day. I swear she looks for opportunities to bring that up. Like if someone says, nice weather we are having... this girl will say the weather is nice in New York. If someone is talking about the ride to work, she will say in New York, we rode the train.

The Overacheiving Security Guard - Son is like Supercop. He is the cell phone and parking lot police. Please don't pull out your phone in the Atrium and let him see you on the camera. He will come running after you to tell you to put your phone away. And God forbid you park in the visitor spots, he will call a tow truck in a second. Not to mention he is about 6'9" and 350 pounds and will intimidate the hell outta you. I mean, not me, cuz I'm a manly man, but other people. LOL

There are so many more characters... but I think I would be writing all day if I tried to describe all of them. The building is huge and I have already seen 4 or 5 people I knew from before I started working there. The only thing I don't like so far is that if I leave the building for lunch, there are no parking spaces by the building and I have to park in a lot that is so far away it might as well be in Africa and take a 5 minute walk to the building. All in all, I can't complain. I'm glad to have gainful employment and have something to do all day besides sit on my computer. Y'all be easy and have a great weekend.

It Was Written...

Turkey and all that stuff...

2006-11-24T03:58:00.000-05:00

It's 4 AM and I am still stuffed from Thanksgiving dinner. I know alot of y'all like to make fun of me for not eating, but I more than made up for it today. I could give you a mini recap of my Thanksgiving, but it was probably just like yours: Football, food and most importantly family. So, let me think of something else to write about.... Let's see... I can't think of anything so that means one thing. It's time for random thoughts...

Scrabble Blast is the most addictive thing I have experienced since NCAA College Football '05 on the PS2. I literally was up all night playing that. Does that make me a nerd? I'll be that...

I need to start training myself to go to sleep earlier. Got to be at work at 8AM on Tuesday. That's gonna kill me.

Michael Richards.... sigh... I ain't got nothing else to say about him that hasnt already been said.

I haven't taken my Yahoo Music Engine off of shuffle since I did that tag the other day. It's interesting to go from Ice Cube to Nina Simone to John Mayer in three songs.

Why did I just find out that my first cousin lives in the Atlanta area yesterday? I really suck at family.

Anybody got any insulin? I think my brothers "punch" gave me sugar shock. I taught you well, young'n.

So you finally decided to let me hold you with crying???

Am I obligated to respond to a mass text message? Should I send one out to everyone in my phone book?

I need to get my PS2 back. I ain't used to getting beat like that. I need to practice.

I don't know if I could live that close to Stroker's without going at least once a month.

Just cuz it's Thanksgiving, people can't get on IM? You aint tired of your families yet?

O.J., you need to be glad they cancelled your show and book. Da hell was you thinking?

Welcome to Atlanta... where the police will kill yo ass... even if you are 92 years old.

Quit cutting down all the trees. And if you must cut down the trees can you at least wait until noon so the unemployed amongst us can sleep?

Still listening to my music on shuffle... James Brown's Funky Drummer is playing. I remember when every other rap song sampled that beat.

I hate the Falcons... 3 Ls in a row? At least I'm still anihilating the competition in the Yahoo Pick 'em league.

Oh, shit.. "Barbara's Bedroom"!! I don't remember downloading this. Anybody remember the group Whistle?

Hypothetically, if you don't show up for Thanksgiving dinner, do you deserve a take home plate?

Not so hypothetically, I don't think so...but I'm still gonna take it.

Aiight, that's enough random thoughts for one night. I'm bout to play some more Scrabble Blast and listen to music. I'll start the whole sleeping thing next week. Hope everybody had a Happy Thanksgiving and if you going out for the sales, have fun and be safe. One!!!

It was written...

The Soundtrack Of My Life/Musical Shares

2006-11-21T02:42:00.000-05:00

Got a couple of music tags for ya. First off, I told Tenacious I was gonna steal this from her and then The Goddess tagged me up with it.. So, I'll call this one...

The Soundtrack Of My Life

The Rules:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits: "Never Felt This Way" Brian McKnight - Who downloaded this one?

Waking Up: "Son of San" - L.E.G.A.C.Y (Justus League) Probably the first of many Justus League joints. I have them all over my computer

First Day At School: "Loop Diggin 101" - 9th Wonder - See another Justus League track

Falling In Love: "Caravan of Love" - Isley Brothers - Is this Isley Jasper Isley?

Fight Song: "My Home Atlanta" - Canibus - I thought I deleted his folder awhile ago...

Breaking Up: "Gotcha" Camp Lo feat Tyler Woods - This is a hot song, I need to get the rest of the album

Prom: "For The Love Of You" - Isley Brothers - More Isleys, I can dig it

Life is good: "Pay the Price (version 3)" - Ed O.G. & 9th Wonder - Another Justus League joint. I'm starting to sound like a groupie

Mental Breakdown: Pursuit of the Pimpmobile - Isaac Hayes - All the Ike I got, and this one pops up???

Driving: "Been A Long Time" - Quan - Mixtape ish!!!

Flashback: "Do It Again" Chaundon - Justus League again... I need to take that folder out the library.

Getting Back Together: E.T. (Extraterrestial) - Outkast - Not sure what this has to do with getting back together, but I love Outkast (except that Idlewood stuff)

Wedding: "Woman" - James Brown- I don't remember this song, but its in the files

Birth of Child: "In The Waiting Line" - Zero 7 - I heard this joint in the movie Garden State and had to download a bunch of their stuff. It's different than other stuff I listen to, but I dig it.

Final Battle: "Feelin On Yo Booty (remix) - R. Kelly - I guess the final battle takes place at a strip club. LOL

Funeral Song: "Lovely" - Boyz II Men - I couldnt get "So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday"?

End Credits: "Let's Get Down" - Tony! Toni! Tone! feat DJ Quik - That's a good song to end the movie. It got a certain bounce to it.

Now since I'm doing the whole shuffle thing, I had this one in the archives so I might as well pull it out and give it a try. We'll use the same rules as above. I'll call this one...

Musical Shares (Corny, I know, but its almost 4 AM, so forgive me.)

1. How does the world see me ? "I C U" - A Tribe Called Quest - LOL, That's Irony, Nigga!!!

2. Will I have a happy life ? "London Skies" - Jamie Cullum - I need to check the lyrics to this song, but I like it.

3. What do my friends really think of me ? "Cradle to the Grave" - Mobb Deep - Either this means they want me to die or that they are down with me to the end.

4. Do people secretly lust after me ? "Fish Net" - Morris Day and The Time - I'm just gonna say this means chicks in Fish Net lust after me... You hear me....women in fish nets. LMAO

5. How can I make myself happy ? "Don't Change" -Karen Clark Sheard - Yeah, is this gospel? My brother must have downloaded this one. I'm not familiar with this song

6. What should I do with my life ? Babylon - Outkast - I came into this world high as a bird/from second hand cocaine/powder, I know it sounds absurd/ I never tooted but its in my veins - Don't know what that has to do with my life, but I love the lyrics to this song.

7. What is some good advice for me ? Let Me Ride - Dr Dre - I always take my advice from the D-R-E... He also told me that B*tches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. LOL

8. How will I be remembered ? The Righteous Way To Go - Edgar Allan Floe - I like the title and the song... but that has to be one of the corniest rap names ever.

9. What is my signature dancing song ? Take It As Loss - Consequence ft Kanye West - If I tried to dance, it really would be a loss

10. What do I think my current theme song is ? The Last Real Nigga Alive (remix) Nas and 9th Wonder - Well, maybe not the last, but I can dig the concept

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is ? No Vaseline - Ice Cube - I guess I'm bout to start going on profanity filled tirades about people.

12. What song will play at my funeral ? Forever - R. Kelly - As in I'll be dead forever??? I don't know about this choice.

13. What type of women do I like ? Presidential - Young Dro - I just downloaded this CD, so I dont really know what the song is about. I think it means I wanna get with Hilary Clinton or Shirley Chisolm for my old school readers. LOL

14. What is my day going to be like ? Scandalous - Prince - I like the sound of that, but more than likely, I wont run into any scandal today.

There ya have it. A peek into the stuff that's on my computer. Nothing too strange popped up that I would have to explain further. Thank God, no Britney Spears or Travis Tritt popped up. LOL Anybody that needs something to post, feel free to grab this. By the way, this is the Justus League's website, in case anybody was wondering.

It was written...

Nothing To See Here

2006-11-20T10:09:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so I have nothing to talk about but I'm gonna blog anyway, cuz that's what I do. Today begins my last week of sitting around doing nothing. I start work next week. I just don't know where yet. I had my third interview at a spot this morning and they are talking about making the final decision this week. But since its a holiday week, I doubt I'll hear from them before next week. I'm okay with it even if they don't call me right away, because I already got one job in the bag. It's like the backup prom date, the one you ask to go while you wait to see if the popular girl will accept you.

Thanksgiving is Thursday and I still don't know what my plans are. I do know that I am not going to Savannah. They aren't cooking this year. So, I will either be hanging with my brother and sister if we can get something together or with my friend Collipark or both. I'm not above eating two Thanksgiving dinners and taking lots of take out plates home. I'm a last minute kinda guy so that's still up in the air.

Saturday is my birthday. I will be 32 years old. Again, don't know what I'm doing, but whatever it is, I hope I have some fun. I need to blow off some steam. Someone was going to throw me a party, but I waited too long. Anybody who wants to get me a gift, I'll gladly accept. That new Playstation 3 is out. LOL

See, I told you I had nothing to talk about. Move along, there's nothing to see here.

It was written...

Eye Candy

2006-11-17T13:46:00.000-05:00

I alluded yesterday to the females that were at the spot at the job I accepted. First, don't take this too seriously, I'm not going to date women that I work with. At least that's the plan. But since we all spend so much time at the office, and I'm not exactly the social butterfly, who knows? This is just an exercise to test my power of observation and recall. All names have been changed just in case they ever find out about my blog, cuz I suck at keeping it a secret.

Lauryn

She walked up behind me as I was entering the building. Of course, I stepped back and held the door for her. She said "thank you" in a raspy voice, like she was yelling all night. As we signed in at the security desk, I visually took her in. Just something I do, I'm always looking. She was wearing a black pant suit with grey pinstripes and a white button up shirt that probably should have had one more button done for an interview. But I wasn't complaining. Her skin was the color of deep dark chocolate and the little makeup she was wearing gave her face an effortless shine, like Lauryn Hill in "The Ex Factor" video, hence the name. She was about 5' 5", I don't know how to gauge weight, but she was slender, but not to the point of looking anorexic. At first glance I pegged her to be about 23, but after we talked, I'm thinking maybe 27.

I sat across the lobby from her with my pre interview game face on. She sat with her legs crossed, right over left and shaking. She struck me as being nervous. I noticed that her lips were the almost the same color of her skin, and they had that familiar MAC look to them, you know where they look shiny, but if you touch them they are a little sticky? Her eyes were artificially brown, what one of my exes used to call Chesnut Brown, and her freshly permed hair was real and lingered on the nape of her neck loosely curled. She came over to where I was and sat down next to me.

"Hey, I'm Lauryn (again not her real name). What are you interviewing for?"

I introduced myself and we made small talk. She revealed that she was indeed nervous, as she didn't think she had the necessary qualifications. We talked about nothing of consequence, just idle chatter to pass the time. I noticed that undone button again as she sat close to me, but this time I also noticed the outline of a black Victoria Secret's bra, peeking through her shirt. It was one of those invisible ones that Tyra was wearing in that commercial a couple of years ago. Not that I was paying that much attention to it. LOL. They called me first, and as I got up, to meet the HR lady, I said...

"Good luck and nice meeting you."

She stopped me and put a scrap of paper in my hand. Her hands were soft and left behind a lingering fragrance of jasmine.

"Hey, call me and let me know if you get the job."

"Aiight, I'll do that."

And with that I went to my interview with a momentary swagger.

I was planning on writing about the other eye candy, but i don't feel like anymore. Maybe I'll do that later this weekend.

It was written...

Today's Miscellania

2006-11-16T14:46:00.000-05:00

Peace Fam! I just got back home, so I guess I should tell you about my day. I had an interview at 8 AM this morning. It was way up in Duluth, so I figured I should leave early to avoid traffic and make sure I'm not late. You know tardiness is one of my things, but I didnt think it was an appropriate first impression. I woke up at 5:15 and was out of the house by 6:30. I figured I would get there by 7:30. It's better to be early than late right? Well, there was no traffic so by 7 o clock, I'm sitting in the parking lot with an hour to kill, yawning cuz I got 2 hours of sleep again. My stomach was growling so I headed off to find a McDonald's to get a McGriddle. (No Syn, I didn't eat last night and I didn't go to sleep either.) I'm looking around for a nearby restaurant, but I can't find one and by then the streets were getting crowded, so I just charged it and headed back to the spot. I go inside and sit in the lobby for what seems like an eternity before they come out. Long story short, I killed in the interview, but they still want me to come back on Monday for a third interview with the president of the company. I hope I get this one. There's no eye candy there like at the other job I got ( I forgot to tell you all about the eye candy), but they pay more.

It's now 10:00, and I call my sister to get directions to her kids' school. They were having a Thanksgiving lunch today with family and since she had to work, and I dont have no damn job, I went in her place. I found the school and finally found a place to park without getting too lost, which is a miracle in itself. My ex brother in law and my sister in law were there too. My niece and nephew were glad to see me, which made me feel good. I don't know if I would have wanted family at school with me when I was 9 and 10. I ate lunch with my nephew, (although his greedy behind ate most of my food), walked around the school with him and then headed home. Sorry, no pictures, my batteries died in my camera.

So, I'm trying to find my way home, because I didnt have the forsight to print directions home from the school and I suddenly get the urge to vomit. But I'm stuck in traffic at a red light in the middle lane with cars on both sides of me. I'm trying to hold it, but it aint working. I had to get out of my car in the middle of the street and run to a trash can on the sidewalk. Horns are honking, people are shooting me dirty looks, but I couldnt help it. It was either that, or throw up all over my car. Aiight, so I run back to the car, cuz the light is green now and I'm holding up traffic. Somehow, I make a wrong turn and wind up back in the middle of downtown. Great, I'm lost...again. I'm drove around downtown Atlanta trying to find 75N, dizzy as hell, mouth smelling foul, head spinning, just out of it. I finally found the highway and now I'm home. I'm bout to lay down and regroup and I'll check all of you out later. Have a good one!!!

It was written...

I Don't Usually Do This Kind Of Post...

2006-11-15T21:58:00.000-05:00

But I was IM'ing a few minutes ago and someone sent me a link to a Colorgenics Profile. I took the test, and I was amazed at the accuracy of both mine and hers. Blown away, really. Here is the link to the test and what it said about me.

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

You are experiencing considerable difficulty trying to achieve your goals. As a consequence of this you are becoming more and more irritable. Your friends and acquaintances are finding it increasingly more difficult to appease or to reason with you. You are the cause of your own problems. Don't be so impulsive. It is your vacillation that can lead to problems and uncertainties. Ease up a little.

The way things are at this time it is necessary to 'go slow'. All the pleasures that you have anticipated should be left in abeyance until some future date, but all is not lost, you are able to derive and achieve considerable gratification from someone quite close to you.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

Since in the recent past all of your hopes and aspirations have been denied you, you are now convinced that the future will hold nothing but anxiety so therefore 'why bother?' You would love to get away from it all, to escape from the trials and tribulations of this mundane existence and fall into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, which will protect you from the lack of appreciation and give you the chance to start afresh.

Damn, that is like the FBI profile of me. Everything you wanted to know about Rashan, but were scared to ask. Let me know if you take the test, and if its accurate for you too.

It Was Written...

Open Letter part 3

2006-11-14T20:38:00.000-05:00

Sup' son? You feel better now? Do you think that was the right way to handle it? I'm sure you are sitting down right now feeling satisfied with yourself, but answer a question: Is that how you do things? Don't lie to me, man. You know damn well that ain't you. You are the cat that lets shit ride. The one that doesn't like confrontation. The one that will just not answer emails or phone calls. So why was today different?

Yeah, you can make the excuse that you didn't get no sleep. I know you were up til like 6 and had to get up at 8:30 for your interview. By the way, congrats on getting that gig today. But don't slack yet, cuz you still have that other interview on Thursday. Back to what I was saying, lack of sleep is not an excuse. You never sleep, but you haven't called folks out like that before. So, umm.. try again.

So you were frustrated? Yeah, I get that. People been telling you for months that you need to let it out. Stop being so passive, so I can appreciate where you are coming from. There's only so much you can take before you reach your boiling point. You aren't as stoic as you would like to believe. Shit, you are human too and you have your faults, but don't forget your true nature.

For real, for real? Don't do that no more. You know you don't like that mess. You define your own happiness. Other people can't do that for you. Snap out of whatever you are going through and learn acceptance. Say it with me:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

You got all that out of your system, now it's time to move on. Live your life, Rashan.

It was written...

Open Letter Pt 2

2006-11-14T09:49:00.000-05:00

I need the two of you to go somewhere too. I know you love the drama, but I hate it. And everytime you come around, I always end up in the middle of it. So, please, no more emails and phone calls. Just let me do me. Leave me and mine alone. Did I know more that I told you? Of course, for one: it's not your business, and two: I questioned your intentions from the jump. In retrospect it seems that I was right. You just wanted to keep up the drama.

Now, you may say that you were trying to look out for me, but that is irrelevant. I'm a grown ass man, and I can handle my own shit. Your PI skills are not needed over here. Just because I dont tell you I know, doesn't mean that I don't know, ya know? I can imagine the two of you on the phone talking about what is happening. Do you feel proud that of what you set into motion? Was your aim to fuck with people's lives? If so, you succeeded. Congratu - fuckin - lations!!!

Now I know that by posting this, you will no longer be on my team and I'm cool with that. I have to escape from you guys. I thought this happened 6 months ago. I should have known that a supportive phone call would turn into another manipulation. I should have realized that we can't be friendly. I should have remembered that there is always an ulterior motive. That's my bad. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. There wont be a third.

So just like in Part One of my open letter: Go away, please. I don't want to hear about who did what or who said what. You can just enjoy your little drama fest without me. I'll be just fine without it. Make believe that you don't remember my phone number or email address or the URL to my blog. Just enjoy your lives with your children and leave me out of it.

It was written...

Open Letter

2006-11-14T08:48:00.000-05:00

I suppose it's my turn to be evil and mean spirited. I should seize the opportunity to say what I have been wanting to say for months, but have not said because I am too nice. I should point out the hipocracy that emanates from your very being. I should tell everyone why I don't mess with you and haven't for awhile. Perhaps I should give specific examples, forward emails and IM's of your words and my responses of when this has happened numerous times in the past. If I explain myself maybe things will be put in their proper perspective.

But I'm not going to do that. If this is how you feel, then stick to it this time, the fourth time. Don't come back at me in a few weeks trying to mend fences. Don't try to get me involved with you again. Don't talk about me to other people which is the very crime that you are accusing me of. Don't jump to conclusions without talking to me, the other crime you accuse me of.

Just go away. Fade Away. No need to check me out twice an hour. You owe me no loyalty and I owe you no loyalty. Don't expect me to do what you want me to do, because as you say, I never have your back, so why should you expect me to have it now? I'm the pariah in this situation, so just move on. Don't worry about the things you did repeatedly to affect this friendship, just put all the blame on my shoulders.

I can take it. I couldn't care less if we ever talk again. You don't have to ever check out It Was Written again. You don't have to know what is going on in my life. These things do not affect you, nor should they affect you in my opinion. I don't need to read your words of anger, then your back peddling once your emotional state returns to normal. If this is the end, then let it be the end. I'm okay with that, and I hope that you are okay with that too. As I told you so often, it is what it is, so just let it be that. Go sell your poison somewhere else, cuz I am not buying it anymore. Just don't delude yourself into thinking that your actions had nothing to do with it.

It was written...

Moment of Clarity?

2006-11-12T04:24:00.000-05:00

The area code was 912, but I didn’t recognize the number. I don’t really talk to anyone in Savannah besides my mom and grandma, so I almost didn’t answer the phone. The Georgia-Auburn game was winding down in the background as I flipped open my cell phone. The voice on the other end was vaguely familiar, like a remnant from a past life experience.

“Hi, can I speak to Shawn?”

“This is me. Who’s this?”

“Shawn, this is Traci.”

“Hey, Traci! How are ya?

I put on my fake everything is all right with me voice, as she spoke. My sense of foreboding told me that this was not a catch up call. There was a purpose to this conversation that had yet to be revealed. Although, my phone number hadn’t changed in the 3 years that elapsed since our last encounter, this was the first time I had spoken to Traci. We had no animosity; we were just two acquaintances that had drifted apart. Traci immediately got to the point, something that I always liked about her.

“Do you remember that girl Kionna you used to mess with?”

I remembered Kionna. Back in 98, we used to work together. She lived in Hinesville, about 45 minutes away from me. I was fresh out of a 3 year relationship and she was the first girl I had hooked up with subsequently. I remember she had a Winnie the Pooh tattoo on her right calf and big expressive eyes. Eyes which seldom lit up the way that God intended for them to. For all her beauty and blessings, she was not a very happy person. In fact she seemed to dwell on all the negative around her. That was a major contributing factor to us calling it quits after a few months. Well, that and the plethora of available women at my job.

“Yeah, I remember her. What about her?

“Well, she was murdered yesterday.”

“WHAT???”

“Yeah, she got killed last night. Her boyfriend shot her and her son and then shot himself.”

“I can’t believe it. Why did he do that?”

“Nobody knows. He just went crazy and killed them all.”

Then the silence took over. I didn’t know what to say or even how to feel. Kionna and I were never really close, no I love you’s were exchanged, no gifts for Valentines Day. We were just doing it, so to speak. And that was 7 years ago. So why did I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach?

“Shawn, you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Are you okay? I didn’t think you guys were that close”

“Yeah, I’m fine. That’s just fucked up. I can’t believe that she’s dead. And little Ramon, he was only like 10?”

“11. I just thought I should tell you. The funeral is gonna be some time this week if you can make it down.”

“Yeah, I don’t know yet. Let me know the details and I’ll see if I can make it.”

“I’ll do that. It would be good to see you again. Although under horrible circumstances.”

“Yeah”

“Well, I’ll let you go now. Go ahead and save this number in your phone. I don’t want another 3 years to go by before we talk again”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. And you can call anytime. I’ll talk to you soon.”

I sat back on the couch in a daze. I didn’t know how to deal with this news, on top of everything else that’s been going on. I started to feel dizzy (perhaps that was because I hadn’t eaten for the past 32 hours) and my mind started swirling. So what did I do? I put my sneakers and walked out the door. I had no idea where I was going, no destination was set, I just felt compelled to walk and think. As I made it to the front of my complex, the wind blowing in my face, I realized, I probably should have on a jacket, or at least long sleeves, but it was too late; my mission had already begun. I was gonna walk until I couldn’t walk anymore, or until certain things came into focus, whichever came first. I needed a moment of clarity…

It was written…

WTF?

2006-11-10T07:59:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know I was supposed to be writing another 100 things about myself, but thing # 101 is I dont always finish what I start. I finally fell asleep about 5 Am after being up for almost 36 hours straight (don't ask!) and I had this strange ass dream; it's a bit of a recurring nightmare I have. I also know that I have a blog devoted to my dreams, but I haven't written in that for a couple months either, so I'm gonna share this here. Maybe someone can tell me what this means.

So, I'm at the movies with this girl, she's nobody I know in real life, just some unidentified hot chick. We are having a good time watching a movie, but instead of being in a traditional movie theater environment, we are sitting on a red sofa watching the big screen. During the movie, we are eating Mexican food and drinking margaritas. When we leave and I take her back to her apartment, I go to give her a goodnight kiss. As we are kissing, I feel a sharp pain in my tongue and I have a feeling like I have to throw up. Suddenly my mouth fills up with grits, and as I go to spit them out, part of my tongue falls out with it. I pick up the piece of tongue and look at it, not scared, just shocked. Then I wake up sweating and my tongue hurts in real life. I have had this dream at least 5 times in the last few months and it always plays out the exact same way.

WTF is that about? I don't have any idea what that dream means, if anything. Maybe I'm just having a mini psychotic break in my sleep. I always have vivid dreams, but they usually aren't recurring like this one is. $5 to anyone who can interpret this dream for me. (offer not valid in any of the 50 states, Canada, Europe, Asia, or Africa.)

It was written...

200 Posts-200 Things About Me pt 1

2006-11-08T06:42:00.000-05:00

This is post # 199. I'm gonna split this list up b/c I know nobody can sit there and read 200 things about me in one sitting. I hope I don't repeat any of the ones I put on my first list all those months ago. Some of these you may already know if you have been reading, some may surprise you. Without further adieu, here we go...

1. I was born in Atlanta, moved to DC when I was still a baby, then moved to New York when I was 2 or 3.
2. I moved to the South on February 1st 1986
3. It was snowing in NY when I left and 85 degrees when I landed in Savannah.
4. I hated Savannah for the first 6 years I lived there.
5. I liked Savannah when I was in college and a couple of years later, now I hate it again.
6. Because I hated Savannah, I concocted vivid fantasies about living other places in my head.
7. I remember some of the most obscure stuff.
8. For instance I remember that when I saw Robo Cop in 1987, I was wearing my Tony Dorsett Jersey and some Wrangler jeans. I also remember that I was freaked out by a scene in the movie when some guy fell in a vat of acid and started melting.
9. I used to get horrible migraine headaches as a preteen/teenager. I couldn't stand any light, so I would bury my head under a pillow.
10. I still sometimes sleep like that, headache or not.
11. When we moved to Savannah, I didn't have my own room, or any room to be exact.
12. I slept on a cot, a sofa bed, the sofa or the floor in the living room or dining room over the course of my years there.
13. We lived in a house with my grandmother and great grandmother. Add in my mom and my sister and that's 4 generations of women.
14. That taught me to leave the toilet seat down among other things
15. I still instinctively leave the toilet seat down even though I live by myself.
16. I have an older sister and a younger brother. I also have 3 step sisters that I don't ever see.
17. That's mostly my fault because I avoid them.
18. My siblings and I all have that same strange sense of humor sometimes.
19. A few years ago we had a contest to see who was the most anti social.
20. We all think we won.
21. I have 2 nephews and a niece that I don't see nearly enough, but love to death.
22. I have never been engaged, and I don't think I will ever get married.
23. It's not a conscious choice, I just don't think its in the cards for me.
24. I am a big NERD
25. I do some stupid stuff for someone who is so smart.
26. I used to not put enough effort into relationships, now I put too much effort into them.
27. I'm trying to find a happy medium.
28. Nobody believes me, but I really don't have a favorite color.
29. When pressed I always say blue, for no particular reason. I guess everyone likes blue.
30. I never used to be able to stay in between the lines when I colored.
31. I'm a natural lefty. I do everything except write with my left hand.
32 One of my teachers made me start writing with my right hand and it stuck.
33. I have terrible penmanship though. If I write something down, chances are I won't be able to read it.
34. Good thing I have a good memory. Some stuff just sticks in my brain. If I hear it, I'm likely to remember it.
35. That's how I was in school. I never studied or took notes. If I did happen to take notes, I wouldn't be able to read them anyway.
36. I failed 2 classes in high school: 9th grade geometry and 10th grade Advanced English. Both times it was because I didn't do any homework or study.
37. I had to walk home from Summer School after 9th grade in the 100 degree weather.
38. I used to be drenched with sweat by the time I got home.
39. I started listening to gangsta rap during those long walks home on my walkman. Too Short and NWA were my favorites.
40. I didn't tell anybody that I was listening to them though, cuz it went against my positive Black man vibe I had going for me.
41. I wrote my first rap as a dare in the 9th grade, cuz someone said I couldn't do it.
42. I still remember the first part of the rhyme, but it sounds mad dated. I stole my style from Big Daddy Kane. (It was '88)
43. I never ate lunch in high school. I used to hang out in the library or the chorus room.
44. That's where I developed my bad habit of only eating once a day.
45. As a freshman, I dressed in all black and never smiled so the upperclassmen would leave me alone.
46. In retrospect, I probably just looked like I had emotional problems. LOL
47. The used to call me Al B. in high school. I'm not Sure why?
48. I make corny jokes from time to time...See # 47.
49. I don't like to be touched. Sometimes I have an involuntary pull away thing that makes people mad at me.
50. I am not good at starting conversations with strangers, but once I know you, good luck trying to get me to shut up. (Ask Royce's Daughter and Blah Blah Blah about our meeting)
51. I'm very observant of what is going on around me. I often will just stop talking and watch people. (Ask Mocha and Miz JJ about our meeting)
52. I am very forgiving, but I also hold grudges. A contradiction, I know.
53. When I cut people out of my life, they don't always know it right away. I suck at straight up telling people to leave me alone.
54. If you are reading this, and think I might have cut you off, but aren't sure, chances are you have been cut off for awhile. LOL
55. I can't watch America's Funniest Videos or Jackass or any of those shows where people fall, because I feel their pain when it happens. For instance if someone falls off a skateboard, I get chill down my spine watching it. It's strange to me.
56. I cannot stand reality TV, mostly because what is portrayed as reality is not. I also don't like shows where people get voted off. Sorry, Miss Ahmad.
57. I can suspend certain parts of reality when watching tv shows or movies, but some stuff makes me say huh?
58. For example, I can watch a show about vampires or ghosts or something that I know isn't real, but if the character behaves in way that is inconsistent with how I think they would act, I'll question it.
59. I don't like most of the so called "Black" shows on TV.
60. This doesn't include The Wire, which is one of my favorite shows.
61. I have a real problem with Def Comedy Jam and Comic View. They tell the same jokes over and over. I get it...Black people and White people are different, men and women are different.
62. I used to have a problem with the word "nigga", now I say it all the time.
63. I still have a problem with people saying it around other races.
64. I don't like when I go out with people and they act like they have no hometraining.
65. I can't stand when I go out with people and they are too cheap to leave a good tip. I understand if the service was bad, but come on.. you can tip more than 10%.
66. And don't be tryna regulate my tip either. If I give a good tip, that's none of your business. Don't be subtracting from yours cuz I gave something extra.
67. I like to stay at home by myself to avoid all that drama.
68. When I do go out, I like to try new things, but I can never think of new things to do.
69. I think I'm starting to be too honest. Some stuff I should keep to myself for awhile.
70. It's very freeing, but also makes me too vulnerable.
71. I used to want to make up a rumor and see how much it changes by the time it gets back to me. I think they made a movie about that.
72. I'm not a pyromaniac... but I think it would be cool to set something on fire with a Zippo like they do in movies.
73. People tell me things I don't want to know all the time. I hear this at least once a week "I don't know why I am telling you this, but..."
74. I think and I have been told that I have a very expressive face. I don't understand why people don't realize from my look, that I don't care about what they are saying.
75. I have an oral fixation. I always have to have something in my mouth. If I'm not chewing gum or ice, I'm chewing on my pen cap or my t-shirt.
76. I have never had chitlins, pig feet, pig knuckles or any of those gross parts of the pig.
77. I can't stand cantaloupe. The smell of it makes me ill.
78. I've drank water only for the last few weeks. No soda, no kool aid, not even orange juice. Not sure why.
79. When I'm in a bad mood, it usually doesn't last for more than 24 hours. I adapt to things quickly.
80. I have trouble believing that bad things happening to good people is part of God's will.
81. When things go wrong, I tend to automatically blame myself before blaming others. Like what could I have done differently.
82. I hate the excuse/reason of bad timing. That shit always seems to happen to me.
83. It's gonna be awhile before I put my all into a(nother) relationship. I can't deal with no more heartbreak for a minute
84. But after 2 or 3 rebound girls, the next one is going to benefit from the lessons I have learned over the last year.
85. I hate losing. Competition drives me in all aspects of my life.
86. I used to compete with the other male bloggers to see how many women commented on my site. Only they didn't know they were competing. LOL
87. I used to think I was stubborn, but the last year has shown me that I am not as stubborn as I thought I was.
88. I think I do a good job of adapting to any situation.
89. I haven't paid for a CD all year.
90. I haven't gone to a club, strip or otherwise, all year.
91. I haven't had a real girlfriend all year.
92. I haven't done shit all year.
93 I haven't liked my job all year.
94. I haven't been home to Savannah all year.
95. I still haven't finished my novel or my screenplay
96. I'm starting to realize that I am not leading a real fulfilling life this year.
97. My major accomplishment for this year: falling in love and knowing that I am capable of love. That is fulfilling.
98. I think I need to leave Atlanta and get a fresh start somewhere else.
99. I write too much on my blog.
100. I'm gonna go to sleep now and think of 100 more things about me later.

It was written...

Random Thoughts From Yesterday and Today

2006-11-07T13:38:00.000-05:00

I got another hour before my next interview so I thought I would try to post something. Since I don't have time to formulate one of my incredibly creative posts, I'm just gonna let out some of the random thoughts I've been having. This is post # 198, or if you count the 2 I deleted this is # 200. Anyway, I'll try to do something big and long for #200, but who knows.

Thanks, big sis for letting me talk to you. I know we don't usually share like that, but it was exactly what I needed.

Dude, you said sports marketing, not sports minded. You got me up here on some BS and now you want me to spend all day with you interviewing?

Your fake tan is kinda distracting, but I'll try to answer your questions.

Mocha, Tenacious, Isis - good looking out on the convos last night.

I want a webcam too.

Word? It's like that?

I'm trying to get there. I really am.

Maybe I am strong, cuz I am dealing with that news better than I thought I would.

I really am like Black Moses. They are trying to follow me out of there, but I aint got nothing for them yet.

Speaking of which, who at the old spot is reading this? I see you on my site meter. It's cool, I'm just curious.

Is it really necessary to be hammering at 8 AM? Some of us don't have jobs and want to sleep.

That new Ciara song sounds like Devante produced it back in the 90's. I dig it. Wait, did I just say I liked a Ciara song? My hip hop pass is gonna get revoked.

What up, Z! Thanks for the email. Feel free to comment on the blog anytime.

I feel like a fuckin' hypocrite right about now. I'm doing stuff I said I would never do.

How many times are you gonna play that Jay-Z video? And that "Walk it Out" crap? Or that "Ballin' " mess?

Okay gotta go to the next interview. Get back on the grind. I'm out.

It was written...

M-I-A-Yo

2006-11-05T12:23:00.000-05:00

Inspiration - "Hustlin" - Rick Ross - " Don't tote no twenty-twos, Magnum cost me twenty-two/Sat it on them twenty-twos, birds go for twenty-two/Lil' mama super thick, she say she twenty-two/She seen them twenty-twos, we in room two twenty-two/I touch work like I'm convertible Burt/I got distribution so I'm convertin' the work/In the M-I-A-Yo/them niggaz rich off that Yayo/Steady slangin' Yayo/ my Chevy bangin' Yayo "

What I'm Listening To - A Tribe Called Quest "The Low End Theory"

Question(s) I Asked Myself - "Why does it feel like I haven't posted in a month, even though its just 3 days?"

What's up fam? I know I been M.I.A. for a minute, but I had to get my mind right. See, your boy is now amongst the ranks of the unemployed. I can't tell you what happened because some of my former co workers are reading this, but I am no longer working for the 7th largest bank in the country. I'm simultaneously relieved and scared to death at the prospect of starting over. Part of me looks at this as an opportunity to get out of a job that I clearly hated, while the other part is not prepared to deal with the whole process of sending out resumes and interviewing. But that's what I'm doing. I spent most of the past few days on the internet searching for jobs using Monster, Career Builders and other sites. I have an interview tomorrow and two on Tuesday, but I don't know if these are the right fit for me. The uncertainty is what is getting me. I'd hate to settle on the first job that wants me, but I gotta pay the bills so I can't afford to be too picky for too long. Damn this living paycheck to paycheck. The timing was also less than ideal. I wish I wouldn't have gotten my car fixed right before this happened. I might have been able to be more selective. I wish I didn't have to divide my focus while Trish is still in the hospital right now. But what can I do? I gotta keep it moving and so I shall. Anyway, I just wanted to explain why I haven't been around; I have real life stuff to deal with. I'll try to keep you all posted on the progress.

It was written...

Think I'd Better Let It Go

2006-11-01T09:03:00.000-05:00

Inspiration - "Love TKO" Teddy Pendergrass "Think I'd better let it go/Looks like another love T.K.O."

What I'm Listening To - WuTang Clan- "Enter The WuTang (36 Chambers)"

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Is it wrong to call out from work right after I had 2 days of vacation?" I'm going to work, but I really don't want to.

I think I better let it go. It ain't a love TKO, but it's a friend TKO. One of the side effects of my doing nothing over the last couple of days has been excessive thinking. I'm the type that always has to have the TV or music going because if I don't my mind will obsess over things. While I was sitting around the last couple of days, I had some moments where my brain took over and I came to a realization of sorts. Some of the people that call themselves my friends are not truly my friends. It's a matter of convenience for them. KZ wrote about flakes the other day and I can see that some people in my life are the exact same way.

See, I'm a fiercely independant person. I never ask for anything, and rarely do I need emotional support either. But I'm human too. Every now and then, I need someone to talk to. I realized that I can talk to people on IM that I have met once or not at all in person and get more support than I can from people I see almost every day. Perhaps its my fault for not always sharing, but on those rare occasions when I do, is it too much to expect that my "friends" be there for me? I'll give you an example. I told all y'all about my car breaking down last week. I called a couple of friends and told them about it. I wasn't asking to borrow money or even for a ride anywhere, just wanted to tell them what was going on. I haven't heard back from them since. This was Saturday and it's now Wednesday. A phone call checking on me would have been nice. Hell, a text message if you didn't feel like talking. I mean, I'm there for them when they need to talk about their boyfriend that's messing up or if they need to hold $20 until payday, but I realize that the situation is not equitable. I'm always listening to their problems, or offering up my couch if you need a place to stay or my car if you need a ride. I'm not saying that to say I am an especially good friend, but some things go with the territory. I know I have my faults, but at the very least, my friends know they can count on me. I wish I could say the same for them.

So, I think I need to let it go. I'm not the best at making friends, but I think I could do better. I already have done much better on the internet. You guys are the most supportive and real group of friends I have had in a long time. It's time for me to go back into loner mode until I can get with some people that truly have my best interests at heart. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I have got to cut some people out of my life. Forgive the rant, but this is what's on my mind. Can any of you relate?

It was written...

Just Might Be OK

2006-10-31T10:43:00.000-05:00

Inspiration "Just Might Be Ok" Lupe Fiasco - "Maybe it just might be ok/After all/Sun don't shine/On these days"

What I'm Listening To - "Once Again" - John Legend

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "How long does it take to get bedsores?"

I told y'all yesterday, my whoa is me (how come nobody called me out for not spelling it "w-o-e") moments don't last long. I'm good today. Anyway, so I'm getting the whip fixed at a substantially lower price and then I'll probably trade it in later. I'm looking at a 300M. I want a SUV, but as Bloopty will tell you, I can't drive, so that might not be such a good look. I can see myself trying to fit into a parking spot and tearing up somebody's ish. Or not paying attention and running over somebody and not even knowing. But really, I'm just being cheap. I don't want an SUV car note.

I didn't go anywhere on my mini vacation, but I have made the most of it with sleep and all. I been doing the whole sitting around being a bum thing. I can dig that. I really needed a break from thinking about work and these 4 days off (including the weekend) are doing it for me. I been wearing out my On Demand catching up on movies that I didn't have time to watch before. Over the last couple of days, I must have watched 6 movies on Starz, HBO, and Showtime. Flight Plan was my favorite of them. In addition, I watched the entire 2nd season of "Weeds" yesterday in between my many naps. That shit is wild.

It's Halloween, and I haven't bought any candy to give out yet. The last 3 or 4 years, I haven't had any kids come to my door. Maybe, they came when I was at work, but I remember when I was a shorty, I would go trick or treating from like 3 in the afternoon until 9 at night. We used to hit every door in every apt complex and come out like bandits. I guess it ain't safe for these kids no more. They are having a Halloween costume contest at work, so I might go check it out, but I probably will just be lounging around the crib until they call and tell me the car is ready.

Anyway, the sun is shining today, not literally, but I think it just might be OK, after all. Rob Mack, that Lupe reference is for you. LOL. Hope errbody is aiight. I'll be checking you out later if I can wipe the sleep out of my eyes long enough to come back to the computer. Have a good one!

It was written...

Quick Question

2006-10-27T10:33:00.000-04:00

This came from a phone conversation I had last night. For the intents of this discussion, assume that neither one of these people are using, pimping, or exploiting the other one and they are in a loving, serious relationship.

Ladies, would you ever give your significant other money? I'm not talking about once you are married and your funds are his funds and vice versa, but like if you were dating a man and he needed money, would you let him have it? If you did, would you look at him as less than a man?

Fellas, would you ever ask your significant other for money? If you didn't ask, and she offerred it would you accept? Would that make you feel like less of a man to take money from your woman?

My answer was that I would not ask for nor accept the money. I am way too independant to borrow money from anyone, much less my woman. I would do whatever I have to do (within reason) before I would take it. I was told that was my foolish male pride speaking, but I'm curious as to what you guys think about it. Now discuss in the comments section.

It was written...

Three Divas, Buck Passing and Sexual Harrassment

2006-10-26T10:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday at work...

Three Divas

Yesterday at work all the managers were taking a picture together. It's a rather menial task. Show up, smile and leave, right? I get there at 12:30 and stand in the front with the rest of the vertically challenged managers. Then the divas took over. White Diva who is taking the picture decides that we should all face sideways and do some crazy shit with our hands like we at Olan Mills. Black Diva decides that enough of her is not showing in the picture and wants to sit down so you can see her face more clearly. Gay Diva doesn't want to stand in the back because you can't see his chin. We rearrange where we are sitting/standing 6 times and finally White Diva takes the picture. Black Diva looks at the picture and decides we need to take another one because someone was blinking. We take another picture. White Diva doesn't like that someone (ME) wasn't smiling. We take another picture. Gay Diva is bitchy because you can't see his chin. We take 4 more pictures. I finally say that I have to go to another meeting so pick one of these and be happy with it. It's now 1PM. It took 30 minutes to take a picture. As I leave, White, Black and Gay Divas are arguing over which picture to use.

Buck Passing

I wrote some employee reviews on September 22nd. I had to wait for my manager's approval before I submitted the raise requests to payroll. Almost everyday since then I have been asking her about them. She seems to have some ulterior motive for delaying, but she wont let me in on her plan. One of my employees asks about his review, and I tell him that we are waiting for approval as my manager instructed me to tell him. My manager's manager asks me about the reviews yesterday. Asks when am I going to be able to finish them. Seems like my manager passed the buck onto me, when I was finished with my part a long time ago. I forward her the completed reviews from September 22nd to show her that I was finished a month ago. My manager's manager calls my manager (confusing enough?) into the office and berates her in my eye sight. I just "accidentally" threw my manager under the bus for passing the buck. OOPS! LOL!

Sexual Harrassment

I'm hanging out in the lobby talking to a couple of people. I get on the elevator still chatting as I'm waiting for the door to close. This girl walks nonchalantly by the 2 females I was talking to then sees me in the elevator. She changes her casual strut into a Top Model walk switching her ass and says "Heeeey Raaassshhhaaaannn" I give her the head nod and what's up like I'm too cool to notice what just happened. Later that afternoon, she comes to my desk on the third floor and strikes up a conversation. She is bending down showing me her magenta bra and touching me on the arm. She tells me I have good hair and tries to rub my head. She invites me to a party this weekend, which of course I politely decline since she is a subordinate. She finally leaves and one of the women I was talking to earlier says "You know that's sexual harrassment right?" Can men really be sexually harrassed? I'm damn sure not about to file a complaint.

It was written...

Two Words: Two Tags

2006-10-25T09:42:00.000-04:00

Inspiration - "Two Words" Kanye West feat Mos Def and Freeway "Two words, United States, no love, no brakes/Low brow, high stakes, crack smoke, black folks/Big Macs, fat folks, ecstasy capsules/Presidential scandals, everybody MOVE/Two words, Mos Def, K West, hot shit/Calm down, get back, ghetto people, got this/Game ball, lock shit, dump off, cock shit/We won't stop shit, everybody MOVE/Two words, BK , NY, bedstuy/Two hawks, too hungry, too many, that's why/These streets know game, can't ball, don't play/Heavy traffic, one lane, everybody MOVE/Two words, Mos Def, Black Jack, hot shit/Calm down, get back, ghetto people, got this/Game point lock, long pump cocked/We won't stop, everybody MOVE"

What I'm Listening To - Quan "A Long Time Coming, Vol 1" mixtape

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Where she at?"

I'm still fighting my lack of blogspiration, so today you get 2 memes. Feel free to steal either one.
The Two Words Tag (All answers must be in two words)

1. Explain what ended your last relationship? Constant incompatibility
2. When was the last time you shaved? Yesterday Morning
3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Sleeping Homey
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Reading Blogs
5. Are you any good at math? Except Calculus
6. Your prom night? Didn't Go
7. Do you have any famous ancestors? Not Sure
8. Have you had to take a loan out for school? Still Paying
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile? Song Deleted
10. Last thing received in the mail? Trish's Card
11. How many different beverages have you had today? Just Water
12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines? When necessary
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? New Edition
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? That's Corny
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had? Wisdom teeth
16. What is out your back door? Balcony/storage
17. Any plans for Friday night? Not Yet
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? Low Caesar
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? Whack Gift
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Nerd=Me
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower? Uhh, yeah
22. Some things you are excited about? Nas' Album
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Vodka Lime
24. Describe your keychain(s): College/Work
25. Where do you keep your change? Wine Glass
26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people? Work Meetings
27. What kind of winter coat do you own? Pea Coat?
28. What was the weather like on your graduation day? Hellishly Hot
29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? It's open

The Incredibly Weird What If Question Meme

1. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? Man, just one? I am a music snob and I know it, so I would want to get rid of a bunch of cats, but for now I'll say Fifty Cent. He can't really rap and he seems to be just a big asshole that people boost up all the time.

2. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? Without hesistation, Gabrielle Union

3. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick? Amerie or if I could travel back in time, Lauryn Hill circa 1996

4. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it? Let's see... I need some new clothes cuz all mine are too big. I guess I would go to Dillards and get some more dress shirts for work.

5. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? New York City

6. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do? Go buy some bootleg mixtapes.

7. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour? Let everybody I love know that I love them.

8. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be? I want the power of invisibility, so I can sneak in and out of wherever I want. I'm nosy so I could learn everybody's secrets.

9. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? This one is too hard, 30 minutes? Shit, I don't know.

10. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there? How about the beginning.. Garden of Eden. Warn them about the snake.

11. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? August 24th

12. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now? If I can parlez vous Francais, I'd be an ex-patriate in France.

13. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life? Notorious BIG, I need another album or two out of him, and not that recycled, remix shit that Puffy keeps putting out.

14. What’s your theme song? Just To Get By - Talib Kweli

It was written...

My Mind Spray

2006-10-24T05:20:00.000-04:00

Inspiration – “Come Clean” Jeru the Damaja “You wanna front what?/Jump up and get bucked/If you're feeling lucky duck/Then press your luck/I snatch fake gangsta MC's and make em faggot flambé/Your nine spray my mind spray/Malignant mist steadily pumps the funk/The results you're a gang stuffed in a car trunk/You couldn't come to the jungles of the East poppin that game/You won't survive get live catchin wreck is our thing/I don't gang bang or shoot out bang bang/The relentless lyrics the only dope I slang/I'm a true master you can check my credentials/Cuz I choose to use my infinite potentials”

What I’m Listening To – Skyzoo and 9th Wonder – “Cloud Nine – The 3 Day High”

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today – Why am I awake and listening to hip hop at 5 AM?”

My insomnia is kicking back in. It’s 5 AM and I am wide awake and listening to some underground hip hop and catching up on all the blogs I have been neglecting over the last couple of weeks. Anyway, here is my version of the random post that everybody and their mama seemed to do on Monday.

Is it me or does old girl from Flavor of Love kinda look like the kid from Mask?

Why am I still the topic of your blog posts? You aren’t that cryptic.

D’angelo Hall needs to shut the hell up and start covering some wide receivers. You lucky Mike Vick and Alge Crumpler represented cuz Hines Ward destroyed you.

32 days til my 32nd birthday. What am I going to do? Any suggestions?

What’s up with the throwing up?

No matter how much you hint around it, I am not having sex with you. It ain’t ever gonna happen.

I’m not ever gonna see that money again am I?

Slow down, you ain’t Superwoman!!!

What you gonna do now that she’s leaving? Ain’t nobody else gonna put up with your triflin’ ass.

No, me and her will NEVER be together. I’m gonna need you to focus your matchmaking skills somewhere else. One of us would be murdered if we ever got together.

Damn, I can actually cook sometimes.

You tricked me into going to sleep. You ain’t slick. LOL

What the hell is a “hiring holiday?” Just call it what it is: a hiring freeze.

I suck at returning phone calls.

I need to go check out the fam in Savannah. I can’t remember the last time I went home.

Throw some D’s on that bitch…

Shhh!!! Don’t tell Tenacious but I like that new Justin Timberlake song with Timbaland.

Umm. I’m a dude, you a dude. Why are you asking me about that? You are now officially suspect.

I tried not to turn on the heat, but its 33 degrees outside.

If the idea of random posts is to be random, why am I trying to think of things to write?

Is that a piece of weave in the elevator?

Pull your pants up homey. You at work.

I just looked at the picture again… I don’t see what you see.

I suck at surprises, please tell me what it is.

If it ain’t one thing, it’s a motherfuckin nother – Snoop Doggy Dogg “Pump Pump”

I need a new signature drink for when I go out. I’m getting tired of ordering Henny.

Thanks for listening. I know I might have been overreacting, but that’s what was on my mind for the last couple of days.

Thank you for just being you. That’s the realest random thought I could have.

It was written…

So You Wanna Be A Neo Soul Singer

2006-10-23T11:05:00.000-04:00

Part 1 and Part 2

Settle down class. We are now going to talk about the third aspect of Black Hit Records 101: How to be a Neo Soul singer. If you notice, I say singer and not star, because for the most part, even though you have more talent than lots of your peers, you will not sell that many records. Don't let that discourage you though, because you can gain a loyal following and even get your records on 106 and Park. Well, not the countdown, but you can be the new video of the day. Like any genre of music, there are some rules you have to follow in order to be successful in Neo Soul.

Aspiring R&B singer # 1 - What's the difference between Neo Soul and R&B music? Isn't it just a pretentious name that someone came up with to divide us?

It may have started that way, but you can definitely tell the difference. For instance, Neo Soul music utilizes far more live instrumentation than regular R&B. But we don't have time to go over the differences. For the purposes of this class, I'll need you to just accept that it is different.

Aspiring R&B singer # 1 - But...

Not now, let's move on. The first thing you have to do if you want to be a Neo Soul artist is cultivate your look. Neo soul is about being different. I would suggest doing something different with your hair. Grow an afro, loc your hair, get those braids that Thelma wore on Good Times when she was going to marry that African prince, tease your hair so you look like Sideshow Bob off the Simpsons. This will set you apart from the thousands of aspiring R&B singers. It will give you that distinctive Neo Soul look.

Aspiring Neo Soul artist # 1 - I've already started growing my hair out in a half fro like Three Times Dope back in the early 90's. What about that clothes?

Great question. Clothes are just as important to your image as hair is. I would suggest that all women go for the earthy, no muss no fuss look. Wear flowing shirts or dashiki type garments. It gives you the image that you are not caught up in materialism and that you are approachable. For men, it's a little trickier. There are two looks you can go for. One is the regular joe approach. Wear your old beat up jeans and a t-shirt with a message on it. But make sure that it's clever. For instance, if you still have one of those Frankie says Relax or Rolling Stone shirts from the 80's, that would be a perfect fit. Make sure the shirt is about 2 sizes too small. I would suggest Smedium.

Aspiring Neo Soul artist #2 - Where can I find those if I don't have them?

I would suggest a trip to your local Salvation Army or a thrift store. It is a good investment in your career. The other look you can go for is the ambiguously gay, metrosexual look. Raid your sister's closet and find a blouse or some pants that are too small for you. Top it off with a fedora or some kind of head wrap that men don't usually wear. The women will think you are sexy, just ask Maxwell.

Aspiring Neo Soul artist #2 - Is it that easy? Just wear women's clothes?

They say clothes make the man, but it takes a little more than that. It takes months of practice, but you have to perfect your "I'm so sincere" look. Raise your eyebrows and look vulnerable. Clutch your heart and shake your head. This is a staple of the Neo Soul genre.

Aspiring Neo Soul artist # 3 - These are some great tips. How about accessories?

For both men and women, accessories are the key in perfecting your image. You should all start out with buying jewelry with an Ankh on it. No gold, no platinum, no diamonds. Just sterling silver. And when you are performing, make sure you have some incense handy. It doesn't matter what kind, my own personal preference is CocoMango, but any kind will work. Also, light candles whenever possible. It gives off a feeling of intimacy that Neo Soul is known for.

Aspiring Neo Soul artist # 4 - I thought you said that Neo Soul artists have the most talent. It seems like you are just telling us how to give off the right look.

Well, some of you do have talent, but others don't. It's just more acceptable for Neo Soul artists to be different. Even if you can't really sing, your quirkiness can overcome that. The key is to walk the line. If you don't have a traditionally good singing voice, you can trick people into liking you by being weird. Go into your poetry journals and find the piece that makes the least sense. Then find some talented musicians and put it to a bass riff. People wont understand what the hell you are talking about, but they wont want to admit it. They will give you props for "being deep" even if you are too deep for them.

Aspiring Neo Soul Artist # 3 - What about influences? It seems to me that most neo soul artists sound like an old singer from the 70's.

I have 2 words for you. Steveland Morris. Better known to the world as Stevie Wonder. You need to study Songs in the Key of Life and emulate his style. Another artist to copy would be Curtis Mayfield. His falsetto is the basis for many successful Neo Soul singers.

Class: AAAAHHH.

I have one final tip for you. Embrace the musical aspects of Neo Soul. While you may have grown up on hip hop, you have to be very careful which influences you allow in your music. You can make references to rap, but they have to be limited to East Coast hip hop circa 1988. You know Tribe, Latifah, Black Sheep. This shows that you have reverence for the artistic side, and that you don't pander to trends.

Aspiring Neo Soul artist # 1 - Does this make me a music snob? I mean I like some of the music I hear on the radio.

You can like that in private, but when out in the public eye, you have to maintain your sense of musical superiority. Only tour with other Neo Soul artists, and if anyone asks whats in your ipod, you better not say Nelly. That would blow your credibility. You'd be better off saying that you are listening to The Eagles or Muddy Waters. Anything other than what is popular today.

Okay class that's all the time we have for today's class. If you have any questions, please email me at Mo.Deniro@BlackMusic.com. I'll see you all back here next week when I will show you all how to write a hit Black song and how to crossover to the pop charts.

It was written...

So You Wanna Be An R&B Singer???

2006-10-19T10:51:00.001-04:00

See Part 1 - So You Wanna Be A Rapper???

Okay class, let's get back in your seats. It's time to talk about R&B.

Aspiring Rapper # 1 - Do I need to be here for this? I'm a rapper.

All of you rappers should stay. Today's R&B music has strong roots in rap music. It's almost to the point where you can't have one without the other.

Aspiring R&B singer #1 - What do you mean? I mean, I sing, I don't rap.

Well, class, let me tell you what I mean. Singers are alot like rappers now-a-days. If you listen to what is selling, you may not be able to tell the difference. There aren't too many acts that still use live instruments in R&B anymore. You're more likely to hear a sample than a guitar or drum. And some of these samples that today's R&B acts use are lifted directly from old hip hop songs. That's a trend that doesn't seem to be going away.

Aspiring R&B singer #2 - Oh, you mean like Ashanti?

That's a perfect example. Just about all her samples can be traced back to hip hop from the 80's or 90's. Lesson #1, find a hot beat that people liked before and recycle it. If you sing over the track instead of rapping, it makes it a totally new song. You in the front... how come you aren't taking notes.

Aspiring R&B singer #3 - I already know all about the rap and R&B connection. I could teach this class if I wanted to.

Really, well let's see what you got. Come on up here. What's your name?

Aspiring R&B singer # 3 - I'm Tyrese.

Thanks, Tyrese. I thought I recognized you. Please continue where I left off.

Tyrese: It's all about image. The days of the smooth R&B singer are long gone. That went out with BoyzIIMen. Today you gotta be street, just like the rappers. It's like when Puffy switched up Jodeci's image. He made those 4 R&B singers from North Carolina look like New York rappers. They still had the skills, but the street cred is what set them apart from the pack. If you look at the popular R&B cats today, you see that they all seem to have an edge to them; wearing platinum chains, saggy jeans, excessive tattoos. They almost look just like rappers.

That is a good point, Tyrese. What other knowledge would you like to share with the class?

Tyrese: Let's talk about lyrics. You can't sing about love anymore. That subject is taboo. The hip hop generation has taught us one thing. Love is for suckers. Your songs should either be about sex, the streets, or the club. If you wanna make love songs, you may need to look into Neo Soul or Adult Contemporary.

Aspiring R&B singer # 1 - That's not true. There are some people that still make love songs.

Tyrese: You can use the word love in your songs, but the attitude and meaning is really going to be about sex. You can't put your woman on a pedestal anymore. The purchasing public isn't going for that. I love you is just code for I wanna screw you. What do you think, Dr. Deniro?

I would tend to agree with Tyrese. I use people like Ne-Yo as an example. "Sexy Love" is more a song about attraction than love. It's a fine line though. Can anyone name a hit R&B song that was not about sex, the streets or the club in the last year? That will be your first homework assignment in this class. By the way, Mary J Blige doesn't count since she has been around for almost 15 years. I'm talking about new artists here. Tyrese, please continue. Your insight is amazing.

Tyrese: Well, the final piece of the hip hop/R&B connection is collaboration or as the rappers call it...collabos. Before you can make a name for yourself in the R&B field, you gotta make your talents known. The best way to do this is to jump on a song with a rapper from your record label. Is it shameless cross promoting? Yes! Is it effective? Hell yes! The fact is people don't necessarily buy your records strictly for your talent. They buy based off who you are affiliated with. Even if you are just singing a hook that a 8th grade chorus student could do, getting co signed by an established artist can do wonders for your career.

Thanks, Tyrese. I would like to add one other element of rap & B. That's the mixtape. I know most people think of rappers when they hear mixtapes, but that is a burgeoning industry for R&B singers too. You can sing over other people's songs that you wish you wrote, and show your versatility. With the lines blurring between rap and R&B, you would be wise to take advantage of this avenue. Let's move on to something else now. We talked about the hip hop image, but there's another image that sells.

Aspiring R&B singer # 1: Are you talking about sex again?

That's right. Sex Sells. So you should wear as little clothes as possible. If you look good in your video, that can help you overcome other less important shortcomings like singing ability. Let's use Ciara for example. If any of you closed your eyes and listened to her sing live, you wouldn't let her sing at Karoake, much less give her a record deal. But she was smart. In her first video, she wore an exposing bathing suit and danced like a stripper. She accentuated her positives, and hid her negatives with slick production. That really works. It's not a coincidence that a lot of the female singers out today, all have a, dare I say, promiscuous image. They are selling sex to a hot beat. There are a few exceptions like Beyonce that can really sing, but even that is not enough. She cavorts around in various stages of undress in her videos as well.

Aspiring R&B singer # 4 - What if you don't have the body to do this? I mean Kelly Price did all right for herself.

If you remember, when Kelly Price came out, her song was hot for months before the video came out. Her and her people tricked the American public into liking her first before they saw her. And when we did see her? The only thing that people talked about for months was her weight. I'm not saying there are no exceptions to the rule, but the exception proves the rule in this case. Now, before you go saying that Dr. Deniro is sexist, there are some men who do the same type of sexual pandering to become sucessful. Our esteemed guest lecturer Tyrese for example. Does he ever wear a shirt? Same thing with Marques Houston and others. They are selling sex to sell records. It's just a fact of life in today's R&B. Any further questions before we move on to Neo Soul?

Aspiring R&B singer #4 - What if I just can't sing or write lyrics but I still want to be in the music industry?

This is a great question. There are many R&B singers that just can't sing. How do they continue to sell records when there are so many more talented people that can't break into the industry? The answer is simple. You gotta dance! I'm not talking about a run of the mill two step, you gotta find a hot beat and dance your ass off. You would be amazed at what an image can do for you. If you look good and dance hard, people wont question your subpar lyrical content or your mediocre singing skills. I mean, does anyone actually think that Janet Jackson has a good singing voice? Is Omarion really the second coming of Marvin Gaye? I think not. But they are great dancers and they look like they are having a great time. That means more to the general public than you could imagine. If worse comes to worse, you can always lip synch at your concerts. Let's take another short break and then wrap up our Black Hit Records class with Neo Soul. See you in 5 minutes.

It was written...

So You Wanna Be A Rapper???

2006-10-18T03:11:00.000-04:00

I’m biting off my own self this time. A while back I wrote a satirical piece about a class for stalkers. This time I’m going at the music industry. Check it out.

Good Afternoon, Class. I’m Dr. Deniro. I assume everyone is here for Black Hit Records 101? Good, lets get started. In this course, you will learn how to make a hit record and get thousands if not millions of adoring fans. I’ve broken this class up into 3 sections: Rap, R&B, and Neo Soul. If you came here looking for how to breakthrough in the rock or pop music scenes, I suggest you drop this class now. We haven’t quite mastered those fields in a long time, with the exception of Hootie. Our area of expertise is with the contemporary Black music fields and we have an abundance of knowledge to share with you. So, you with the black fingernail polish and you in the shiny suit, you guys can leave now. Now that they are gone, I want to give you an overview of what we will be covering. I’ll attempt to answer any questions you have along the way.

The first thing we will cover in this class is how to make a hit Rap record. First thing, I will be teaching you is how to spot trends. This isn’t as easy as it seems. Half of making a hit record is copying what’s already out. But you have to be careful. For example, right now, if you wanna be a star, you should be from the South, or at least pretend to be. I would suggest listening to some TI or imitating Lil Jon’s synthesizer sound as a start. If you watch Rap City’s Top 10, at least 8 of the songs are gonna be from Southern rappers. You would be wise to emulate their style even if it’s not yours. This is not a new thing. A few years ago, sounding like you were from the Midwest was a surefire way to sell records. The same thing with NY and California. The important thing is to recognize what’s hot, and getting in where you fit in. Yes, you in the front row. Do you have a question?

Aspiring Rapper #1: What if you aren’t from the South? How do you make a hit then?

Great question. It doesn’t matter if you are actually from the South, Just do a collabo with a Southern rapper and you can claim their style. It worked for E 40. And do you really think Jim Jones listens to Southern rap music? It just works for record sales.

Aspriring Rapper # 2: Should I worry about a certain style of rap being over exposed? Eventually won’t people get tired of hearing only one type of music?

The most successful rappers are able to adapt to the changing tastes of the rap audience. Look at Ice Cube for example. He was a pioneer of that West Coast gangsta rap. He realized that he had to adapt and started working with the Bomb Squad outta New York. When that West Coast was resurrected with Snoop and Dre, he then switched back to being a West Coast rapper. Now a days, he is riding Lil Jon’s coattails for hits now that the South is running things. You may not have bought his album, but I bet you listened to his music in the clubs.

Another secret to being a successful rapper is money. I don’t care if you just got fired, owe your bookie $10 K, or are collecting welfare, if you want to be a successful rapper, you have to act like you have money. Materialism has been running rampant since Puffy hit the scene. You have to up the ante. If the next rapper talks about having a platinum chain, then you have to have a titanium ring. Don’t be afraid to get outlandish with it. Put diamonds on anything that will hold them. Mention an obscure type of liquor that nobody has heard about yet. Customize your car in a completely excessive way. While it may not make sense to you to have diamonds in your teeth, if you wanna sell records, you gotta do it. That’s what them Texas dudes are doing and you see how they shut down the rap game in ’06. Bottom line is this: Rap fans listen in an attempt to escape reality. It is your job as a rapper to let them live vicariously through you.

Aspiring Rapper # 2 – I don’t know how comfortable I am portraying that image. Doesn’t this contribute to the lack of morals that our youth are facing.

That may be true, but you have to remember the Rappers Code. Now I expected you to already know this before enrolling in this class, but we’ll review it. Can somebody tell me the rappers code?

Aspiring Rapper #3 – I am not a role model – Charles Barkley 1992

Very good, does anyone have anything else to add?

Aspiring Rapper # 4 – I rap about what I see, I am the ghetto CNN. – NWA -1991

That’s right too. You can’t worry about what anybody else gets from your music. Your job is to entertain and sell records. Rappers are only responsible for themselves and their economic well being. This leads me to my next point: Drugs sell themselves.

Aspiring Rapper #1 – What do you mean by that?

Quite simply, the core of your audience has either seen drug dealers, wanted to be a drug dealer or actually dealt drugs in their lifetime. Rappers have to have that larger than life Tony Montana/Frank White persona. If you look at some of the recent popular rappers, they all use drugs as their subject matter. Look at Jeezy. His entire album was about selling cocaine, and his first album did 2 million and now he trying to do 3. If you are especially clever, then you can even mention drug dealing on supposedly wholesome R&B tracks. Look at Jay-Z! On Beyonce’s song, he said he “used to run base like Juan Pierre.” Because his simile was so obscure, most people didn’t realize he was talking about drug smuggling. Now that is clever. Who even knows who Juan Pierre is?

Aspiring Rapper #3 – Who is Juan Pierre?

He is a baseball player for the Florida Marlins and he is known for stealing bases. The simile is comparing Jay-Z’s aptitude for selling drugs to Juan’s aptitude for running the bases in baseball. I wouldn’t suggest any of you to try to do something like this just yet; that is an advanced example of talking about drugs on the record.

Class: AAAAAHH!!!

There are a few other things you need to do if you want a hit record. Make sure people can dance to your music. You may be a lyrical genius, but unfortunately that doesn’t sell. You have to get the ladies on the dance floor. This means that you have to dumb it down. Make sure you have a repetitive hook that people can easily remember. Hit songs are not meant to make the audience think, but make them move. Look at Laffy Taffy... or Shoulder Lean…or Chicken Noodle Soup. These songs are about dancing. You can expect to hear these tracks at 1 AM at the club. They aren’t gonna make you any smarter, but they will make you rich. You may lose your hip hop credibility, but really, who needs respect from some backpackers when you have loot in a briefcase?

Aspiring Rapper # 3 – Some of my favorite rappers used to have lyrics of substance and still get the crowd moving. Why can’t I do that?

I’m sorry, but times have changed. Kids now a days don’t wanna hear that Native Tongue stuff. It’s all about the beat, not the lyrics. De La Soul may have been the shit, but did they ever get rich? It’s all about priorities. If you want to struggle to make a living and constantly change record labels for the sake of your art, go right ahead, but I think you are in the wrong class. You may want to go check out “Hip Hop Purity” being taught by KRS ONE down the hall. This class is all about making hits.

I think we need a break. When we come back, we will go over how to make a hit R&B record. I’ll give you a hint: it doesn’t have a damn thing to do with talent. We’ll meet back here in 5 minutes.

It was written…

Uninspired

2006-10-17T09:21:00.000-04:00

Apparently, I went on an unannounced Blog break. I haven't even looked at my blog since Friday. It wasn't intentional, I just haven't had anything to write about. I guess this is normal for most bloggers, but it's strange to me. For the last 10 months, I have done nothing but think about what I'm going to write, how I'm gonna write and how people are going to react to what I write. This weekend, I stayed off the internet all weekend, except to download music. That meant no IM conversations, no blog reading, and no looking up random thoughts that pop in my head, which happens all the time. I wish I could say that I did something exciting this weekend that took the place of my computer time, but I really didn't. All I did this weekend was go out to dinner with a friend on Friday, and drive aimlessly around the city on Saturday. Sunday, I got called in to work because our phone system wasn't working and missed the beginning of the Falcons debacle against the Giants, but other than that, I just chilled and watched movies all weekend. Nothing exciting at all. Please forgive this rather pedestrian post, but I have nothing to talk about. Judging from my reading this morning, I ain't the only one. Seems only a few people have updated. Perhaps, I'll get out of this blog funk that seems to be going around the blogosphere tomorrow. Y'all have a good Tuesday and if anybody has any topics for me to write about, please feel free to share. I'm just not feeling very inspired right now.

It was written...

Once Upon A Time In The Projects, Yo!

2006-10-13T10:48:00.000-04:00

Inspiration: "Once Upon A Time In The Projects" Ice Cube - "Once upon a time in the projects, yo!/I damn near had to wreck a ho/I knocked on the door - "Who is it?"/It's Ice Cube, come to pay a little visit to ya/And what's up with the niggers in the parking lot/She said fuck em, cause they get sparked alot/I sat on the couch but it wasn't stable/and then I put my Nikes on the coffee table/Her brother walked in he's into gangbangin/cause he walked up and said "what set you claimin"/I don't bang I write the good rhymes/The whole scenery reminded me of Good Times"

What I'm Listening To - Ice Cube "Amerikkka's Most Wanted" and "Death Certificate"

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Why, when I woke up yesterday, my blog was taken over by an Italian porn site?" Did y'all see that in the morning? I had to republish to get rid of it.

I never lived in the hood. I admit that most of my so called street knowledge comes from early 90's hip hop, but even I have a project story or two. I was listening to Ice Cube and the title "Once Upon A Time In The Projects" got stuck in my head, so here is my ghetto story.

It was July 4th, 1997 or 1998. For reasons that will soon reveal themselves, that night was kind of fuzzy. I do remember that I was hanging out with my homegirl Boo Trotter. She had family in the projects, or what passed for the projects in Savannah, Georgia. Since I was young, dumb and thought I was invincible, I didn't think it could possibly be a bad idea to hang out in Yamacraw Village.

I picked up Boo in my VW Fox and after stopping off to get a big ass bottle of Bacardi Limon and two red solo cups, we headed down MLK Boulevard (which is probably in the hood no matter what city you are in) to kick it with her peoples. We were tossing back the rum as we rode and listened to No Limit. I was already buzzed by the time we got to Yamacraw and found a place to park. I can't remember what time it was, but the sun had long since set. We found her cousin's apartment and posted up on the stoop, inebriation working its way through my veins.

I was a fish out of water, but the alcohol made me blend in and forget that I didn't know anything about the projects. In that very moment, I might as well have been a lifelong hood resident. We kicked it hard, drinking and reciting Mystikal lyrics that were blaring from various apartments in a "Do The Right Thing" type battle. We ate cheap meat that was purchased from the Korean Market and charbroiled to perfection on cheap grills and placed on cheap paper plates. We blazed a blunt with the local Tony Montana, who was known for crack sales and his propensity for violence. Before I knew it, my big ass bottle of Bacardi Limon was damn near empty, and I don't recall a bit of chaser. Needless to say, I was gone.

I don't know if it was the paranoia setting in or not, but I started to notice some crazy ass looks penetrating me. In my mind, they were saying, "this nigga don't belong here." Perhaps, it was b/c I was not rocking the standard white tee and black jeans uniform that the Yamacraw crew was wearing, or perhaps because they just never saw me around, but I started to feel unwelcome in the projects. I told my homegirl Boo, and she told me that as long as I was with her, there was nothing to worry about. That put me at ease as I continued to take in my surroundings. At least until the Bacardi caught up with me and I had to empty my bladder.

I asked Boo's cousin if I could use the bathroom and she told me it was broken. She directed me over to the alley behind the apartments to releive myself. I don't even really do public bathrooms, so the idea of peeing outside didn't appeal to me, but I couldn't hold it back. So, I sauntered over to the alley, in my best I'm tough, I'm from New York so don't fuck with me strut. So, I'm peeing and what do I see in the alley? A damn crackhead!!!

Ayy, Playa! You got that hard?

Nah, man. I ain't got shit!

The crackhead starts walking towards me while I am in midstream. I'm looking at this cat like "What the hell?" I don't know where this cat came from, but he was so stealth that he could have been an assasssin if the crack didn't call him. I finished up my business, adjusted my Polo gear and left the alley before he could get too close. Keep in mind that I was drunk off my ass, but I had no idea where was at that moment. I'm looking around for Boo and her cousin, but I couldn't remember which apartment was theirs. As I am staggering around the projects, I hear gunshots and hit the deck. I thought I was in the midst of a drive by or something, but it turned out to be just regular July 4th shooting up in the air. Great, now my Polo gear is fucked up, cuz the projects don't have grass, just dirt. I brushed myself off and eventually found Boo. Of course, she thinks it was hilarious and gets me another drink to calm my nerves. This was the last thing I needed.

I sat on the steps, sipping a Colt .45, and watching a spades game a few feet away. There is more gunfire, but by now I am immune to it and realize that for some reason, niggaz just like to bust shots to commerate holidays. (I never fully understood that one.) There was lots of loud shit talking during the game; I mean this was the most intense round of spades I had ever seen. They were playing for money, and since I wasn't playing, they asked me to be the bank, which in my drunken state, I agreed to. Thug team # 1, reneged, sending thug team #2 into an uproar. It started out with yelling and threats and ended with both sides pulling out guns. They stood there in a Mexican standoff, pointing at each other and guess who was holding the money. Your's truly! At this point, I just wanted to get out of the projects with my life, so I did what any self respecting man would do. I put the money on the table and ran like a bitch. LOL. I hauled ass to my car so quick, you woulda thought that I was Carl Lewis. When I saw that no one was chasing me, I just sat in the car and waited for the scene to die down.

Boo came to the car and told me it was all good, but I had enough. I ain't cut out for the project life. We got in the car and rolled out. One final reminder of why I shouldn't have been in the projects? On the drive home, I realized that somebody stole all my CD's out of the car. Apparently, I was that drunk that I forgot to lock my car doors. After that experience, I made sure I never went back to Yamacraw again.

What's your project story?

It was written...

Truth or Dare/ The First Meme

2006-10-11T11:35:00.000-04:00

A couple more truths before I move on... and the dares well, I havent done them yet. We'll see what goes down.

TTD truthed me with this one: t. cas - since you always talking about you cant drink like that.. what's your drink of choice & how many glasses does it take to get you drunk?

I don't remember saying I cant drink like that, I just don't anymore. I had my times back in the day. When I was your age, I was straight alcoholic status. Now, I drink once or twice a month, and I hardly ever get drunk anymore. When I do, I stay in the house. My drinks of choice are Hen and Coke, any type rum, especially Parrot Bay or Malibu. I'm also partial to Amaretto on the rocks and Grand Marnier after dinner.

Rob Mack hit me with this one: Truth for you: You ever remember giving a chick a lame "playa" line, and the shit worked? If so, talk about it briefly.

I can't really think of a time. I usually meet my women through mutual friends or back in the day at work. I don't have to do the playa lines, which is a good thing, cuz I have no game... at all. Once I know a chick, I can spit with the best of them, but on the approach I'm always conscious of coming across like a lame. I even wrote a post trying to get some tips from the ladies about what works. Can I just say that they were no help? LOL. Check it out right here.

The First Meme

1. Who was your first prom date? I didn't go to my prom, but I went to the prom with Shay at her school.
2. Who was your first roommate? Charis. We were mad cool until she moved her girlfriend and her girlfriends son into the crib.
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? I didn't get drunk until I was legal. I think we were drinking E and J
4. What was your first job? Saint Joseph's Hospital. I worked in the dietary department pushing carts of food and washing dishes.
5. What was your first car? 1987 VW Fox. It was burgandy with rust spots on the top. I took my student loan check and got it painted Midnight Blue and got a Rashan X airbrushed front license plate with a Tiger on it to represent my school. Couldn't tell me I wasn't the shit.
6. When did you go to your first funeral? My grandfather died in 1984 so I was either 9 or 10. It was a military funeral in Beaufort, SC. I remember feeling proud when they did the 21 gun salute and gave my grandmother the flag.
7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? I moved to ATL when I was 25.
8. Who was your first grade teacher? I wanna say it was Mrs Silverstein but that may have been 2nd grade. I was still in New York at the time.
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? February 1st, 1986. When I moved from NY to Savannah. We were all supposed to go, but there was some hold up. The rest of my family came down the next week, but I was stubborn and convinced my mom to let me fly down by myself. When I left NY, I had on a bomber jacket and it was snowing. When my grandmother picked me up in Savannah, it was 85 degrees. I remember all the flight attendants were calling me brave for flying by myself. I also got lost in the Charlotte airport for my connecting flight. I was wandering around with my boom box until someone helped me find the right gate.
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with? Woulda been with Shay. I didn't really sneak out that much, cuz there were too many people in my Grandmother's house growing up. I didn't have my own bedroom, I slept in the living room and my Grandmother would always "pretend" to get up and get water or a blanket from the hall closet and see what we were doing.
11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?Gautam in New York. We lost touch when I moved to Savannah, but our moms still keep in touch. We had a true rainbow coalition of friends growing up. Me - Black, Gautum - Indian (from India) Timmy - White, Ira - Jewish, Marsha - Philipino, etc. I came back to NY to visit and everybody had started congregating to their own race by that time. It was pretty sad that the innocence of youth was shattered by race.
12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents house? In a crappy apartment with Charis.
13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? I'm probably already on the phone with Trish. Good day, Bad day, Anyday
14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? In 97, My moms got married the day before my College graduation. I was so mad at her b/c she stole my moment and got all the gifts from the far off relatives.
15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Turn off the first alarm and wait for the next 2 to go off.
16. What was the first concert you ever went to? It was either New Edition or the Eric B and Rakim, Public Enemy and The Beastie Boys. I remember the Beasties Boys got arrested for coming out on the stage on a giant penis. I didn't tell my mom about that part and she was furious when she saw the news.
17. First tattoo or piercing? Don't have either one
18. First celebrity crush? Vanessa Williams - Miss America.

It was written...

Da Hell Was I Thinking???

2006-10-07T05:47:00.000-04:00

I was bored tonight so I messed around with my template. The colors are a shout out to my college, Savannah State University (GO TIGERS!!!) Since I am not a technical person at all, there are still some bugs to work out. For instance, my comment pop up box is huge and the chat box won't fit on the side bar. Also, if you click on a link, it opens in a new page. Tell me what you see that's messed up. I may or may not keep this, but if anyone has any tips on how to make this stupid template better, please don't hesitate to share. Hope you all are having a great weekend and I'll finish my truth or dares sometime this weekend.

I Dare You To Tell Me I Ain't The Truth (updated)

2006-10-05T15:29:00.000-04:00

Here is Royce's Daughter's Dare. She dared me to take pictures of the crib as is before I cleaned it up. More to come. So keep checking back

Synsational wants to know the truth about why its hard to meet people outside the blog. I am antisocial because people get on my nerves and because I have Social Anxiety Disorder (self diagnosed.) I am not comfortable talking to people I dont know and I have a strong dislike of rejection. Its easier for myself to not put myself out there, than to get shot down. I think the blog has made it easier to connect with people on a purely intellectual level.

Nikki thinks I removed her question, when in actuality, she commented on an old post. She wants to know how many women I have said I Love You to in the last 8 months. The answer is 2. It has been way more than 10 times. She also wants to know if I told my moms ten times in the last 8 months. I don't think so. I think I talk to her like once a month, so it would probably be like 8 times in the last 8 months.

Mocha asked me about when I met her and Miz JJ.. Apparently I was thinking something, but didnt tell them what it was. So here is my internal dialogue.
"They stood me up..again"
"I'm just gonna go home.. oh wait, they calling me now"
"Look at Mocha and JJ.. damn they fine"
"Mocha's shirt is ummm revealing"
"JJ's lips are ummm WOW!"
"Stop staring Rashan"
"Talk to them both"
"You are talking to much to JJ"
"You are talking too much to Mocha"
"Aww, fuck it. Just chill out"
"Look at those fake lesbians"
"Black girls from Canada talk like White girls from America"
"They are hella cool"
"The night is over already?"
"Man, we should have went to Strokers"

Is that good enough for ya, Mocha?

Thee Modern Isis wants to know Since you are a sarcastic person, what is the most sarcastic thing you have said that got the most surprising response. I had a friend that I went to high school. I used to like her back in the day, but I had moved on and then she started digging me. Anyway, we were working together at the hospital and she used to do touch me on the shoulders or grab my hands and stuff. One day, I said, if you want to touch me so bad, I got something for you to touch. I was just being an ass... but to my surprise she was willing. We went down to an empty office and well you know the rest. That wasnt the most sarcastic, but it was the most surprising reaction. I can't even pick the most sarcastic comment. Sarcasm is a second language for me.

Tenacious dared me to take a picture of the infamous Al Qaeda. For those of you not familiar, he is a colleague that gets on my last nerve at work, never does any of his own work and even tried to get me fired last year on some bullshit. I played it off like I was taking a picture of our United Way Bake Sale. I know it looks like he is posing for the camera, but he actually walks around with that sappy grin on his face all the time, especially if there is food around. I told him today that he couldn't have that piece of cake he wanted because it was prepared with pork grease. The dummy actually believed me.

I did Trizzy's dare yesterday eating 3 times in one day. Check yesterday's post for photos. In turn I dared her to post an audioclip. Here was our first attempt, and the second attempt is on her blog.

Honey asked If I could do anything today and know that no one would remembeer it tomorrow... what would it be? I would wipe out the credit agencies like in Fight Club and give everyone a fresh start. Some people come in with advantages and I want to even out the score.

Organized wanted me to tell the story of "She who will not be named" from my first post... Just b/c of time this will be a short recap...

If you been reading the blog, you know how it ended, but here is how it started. I met her back in 1999 in Savannah at work. We flirted around a bit but she had a boyfriend. She used to hang out at the crib with friends then eventually started coming around by herself. Eventually, she broke up with her boyfriend and got with me. 6 days later she moved in with me. We were together for 2 years. Because of some alleged legal issues, (read the last paragraph of the link for details), we moved to Atlanta together. I thought we were cool, but apparently I was just comfortable (2 income households will do that to you). The first breakup was pretty dramatic in retrospect. On her birthday in 2001, I had bought her a tennis bracelet and some matching earrings. She saw the jewelry box and thought I was gonna propose to her and panicked. Said she wasnt ready to get married and blah blah blah. I was like ummm this aint an engagement ring (although I admit, I was thinking about it.) Anyway she said she needed some time to "work on herself" (translation: fuck somebody else) before she could move forward with me. A couple days later we got back together but it was never the same. We finally broke up for good a few months later. I was crushed, b/c this was the first time that I had ever been in love and I didn't really understand at the time why we broke up. I have better clarity now. Anyway, we reconnected earlier this year, but that was ill fated as well. It did however give me that proverbial closure that people talk about.

MORE TO COME!!!!

It was written...

Truth or Dare

2006-10-03T23:49:00.000-04:00

Once again, my post is inspired by Trizzy, who got the idea from Xavier. They are playing Truth or Dare blog style. Being the adventurous spirit that I am (LOL), I chose Dare. My mission for Wednesday is to eat 3 meals. That may not seem like much to you, but I only eat once a day, twice if I am extremely famished. To top it off, I have to take pictures of me eating as visual proof. I will be posting those pictures as the day goes on.

I want to include the rest of you in this game. Hit me up in the comments and say Truth or Dare. I will respond with a question or a dare and you can post yours either on your blog, or in my comments for my blogless readers. If you accept a truth or dare, then I will accept one from you, so keep checking back to see how I respond.

Now, for some of you freaks out there, I gotta have some ground rules, so here are some suggested guidelines.
Let's not ask to see pics of each other (completely) naked. The idea is to get to know each other better, not embarrass each other.~
Ask interesting questions~
If you do a dare, it has to be something that can be easily shown by posting a pic online~Let's not get crazy with the dares :D

Now that the disclaimers are out of the way, lets do this. Truth or Dare?

Meal # 1.. Golden Grahams

Meal # 2 - Chik Fil A Combo #1 with a lemonade

Meal # 3 - Leftover Buffalo Wings from Fridays. I did it with 37 minutes to spare.

It was written...

What's Your Type?

2006-10-02T11:10:00.001-04:00

I had a conversation last week with Trizzy about types. Does everybody have specific qualities that they look for in a mate? I know for me, I usually end up dating the women that look fairly similar. But what do you do when you are attracted to someone who is not your usual type? Using myself for an example, I usually am attracted to one type of woman more than others. They are generally short, chocolate, not too skinny. That's been my go to woman since college. That's not to say that's all I have dated, but in looking back at some of my old pictures, my so called type is evident. I don't even know if its a conscious thing, but it's there.

It's not only the physical qualities that are similar, but also certain personality types. For example, a lot of the women I date have a tendency to be involved with the church. This is ironic because I haven't gone to church regularly since I was 17. I'll let you amateur psychologists analyze that one. LOL. Also, they have to be intelligent and be able to hold a conversation. With the exception of Stalker #2, all my girlfriends have been smart. Finally, dealing with me, a woman has to have a sense of humor. I am always joking about something, and I can't deal with someone who takes everything too seriously.

I think that as I get older, I don't only allow myself to be attracted to one certain type anymore. It used to be that I wouldn't date anyone taller than me, but that requirement is gone. I think at this point in my life, I only have one deal breaker. I refuse to talk to or go out with dumb girls, no matter how sexy they are. That's my only non negotiable now.

So, that begs the question, what is your type? I don't mean your ideal Hollywood celebrity type, but the one that you actually meet and go out with. Ladies, do you go for suits or thugs? Fellas, do you only date women with a certain body or hair type? Do you always go for the same type of guy/girl or do you have various tastes? What's your deal breaker? Hit me up in the comments section.

It was written...

If I Had One Wish...

2006-09-29T10:07:00.000-04:00

Inspiration - "If I Had" - Eminem - "But if I had a million dollars/I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics/If I had a magic wand,/ I'd make the world suck my dick without a condom on/ while I'm on the john/If I had a million bucks/it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be outrobbing armored trucks/If I had one wish/I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss"

What I'm Listening To - "Paid in Full" - Eric B. and Rakim

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Can this week be over already?"

If I had one wish... It wouldn't be enough. These are some of the things that I wish.

I wish... that I could find more hours in the day.
I wish... I didn't hate my job right now
I wish... I knew what the hell else to do for a career
I wish... You would stop worrying about me. I'll be fine
I wish... People would stop asking me what I did to lose weight. The answer is always the same. I didn't do anything but stop drinking soda and kool aid. It's nothing more than that.
I wish... That people would stop naming their gay babies 'Toine. That is like a self fulfilling prophecy.
I wish... That 'Toine (real name) didn't look at me like that in the lobby of my job.
I wish... That you could finally let him go and find someone who is worthy of you.
I wish... I could take away the pain
I wish... I called Jessica more. I miss my homey! If you reading, I'll call you this weekend, I promise.
I wish...that was my Miracle.
I wish... It was PLW
I wish... The Falcons didn't play like a JV football team last Monday.
I wish... I thought I was a loser. That would make this shit easier.
I wish... people would stop telling me what I deserve.
I wish... you would respect my wishes.
I wish... I didn't have those thoughts.
I wish... I made more of an effort with my family.
I wish... when you apologized, you would take some responsibility for your actions.
I wish... I could sleep for a good 8 hours at least once a week.
I wish... you would take solace in me.
I wish... I understood why bad things happen to good people.
I wish... I didn't get that phone call. You really aiight?
I wish... You could see you like I see you. Then you would understand.
I wish... You would stop trying to be involved with every aspect of my life.
I wish... I thought everything through before I spoke.
I wish... I didn't have such a good work ethic. I keep allowing myself to get pimped because I'm an overachiever.
I wish... I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl that looked good, I would call her.... LOL
I wish... Damn, thats enough wishing for one day.

What are you wishing for?

It was written...

Let's Talk About Blogging!

2006-09-28T11:03:00.000-04:00

I stole this one from someone's site that none of you read, so I won't bother linking it. I just wanted to post something, and I thought this was pretty interesting. Feel free to take it if you like. This means you, Tenacious. LOL

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog? Not intentionally, but sometimes I go right after work still in my tie and catch the "oooh, he has a job look" But I don't do it for bloggers

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered? This is 100% me. I think everybody knows how I feel about fake pictures by now. LOL

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you? I welcome all feedback. Unless its a dude trying to get up with me. That hasn't happened yet.

4. Do you lie in your blog? Not anymore. I used to embellish some stories, but it was always based on a true story. Or if you include lying by ommission, I guess I do. I don't tell you all everything.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog? You guys tell me? I think I'm pretty straight forward most of the time.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop? Nah, I hate when I read those. I love the attention too much to quit.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping? No, just blog therapy. I put my lifetime in between the papers lines. That's my therapy.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones? I never got any mean ones yet. I don't post fake nice ones. That reeks a little of desperation to me.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? I'm more of a visual person, so if anyone wants to post some naked pictures of themselves on their blog, maybe I'll "rub one out"

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less? Both, some would like me more, but some would like me less because I have a knack for pissing people off with my sarcastic comments.

11. Do you have a job? I sure do. Can't pay the bills by blogging.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it? Hell Yeah!!! I got a million crazy ideas floating up in my brain that I could blog about.

13. Which bloggers have you met in real life? Sorry, no linking b/c I'm at work right now. Trizzy, Nikki, Mocha, Miz JJ, Unsaid (knew her before the blog), Sistagirl (knew her before the blog), Royce's Daughter, Blah, Blah, Blah.

14. Which bloggers have you made out with? yeah, uh.. no comment. LOL

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have? I don't really talk about money on my blog. I am totally non materialistic.

16. Does your family read your blog? I sent my sister the link about a month ago, but we havent talked about it, so I don't know if she has read it or not.

17. How old is your blog? Been blogging since December of 2005. Got two more months to make it to 200 posts. That's my goal.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care? Not even close. According to my site meter, I average 149 in the last week. I don't want that many page views. That's too much pressure.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar? If I told you, it wouldnt be a secret. But no, I don't. It's hard enough keeping up with 1 and a half.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing? Ain't this supposed to be free?

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes? You can get paid for blogging? Sign me up, expeditiously!

22. Is blogging narcissistic? For most people, including me, it is.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time? Yeah, I do. But I try not to go too long, even if it means I have to do some BS Meme like today.

24. Do you like John Mayer? Not sure what this has to do with blogging, but yeah, i like his music.

25. Do you have blog enemies? Once again, I'll need for you to answer this one for me. I don't think so, but I probably done pissed one or two people off. But not enemies.

26. Are you lonely? I don't get lonely. I love being by myself. On the contrary, I can't find enough time in the day to keep up with everybody that wants to keep up with me.

27. Why bother? I just like to write, and I like the attention, and I like the funny, insightful and downright stupid comments that people leave.

28. If they were to make a movie of your life, who would play the mailman? Huh? Forrest Whitaker, for absolutely no reason at all. I don't really understand the question. LOL

It was written...

The Blog Real World: The Aftermath

2006-09-27T00:28:00.000-04:00

The Blog Real World: The Aftermath

Tivo: Episode 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Back From Commercial

The four roommates have a looks of trepidation on their faces as the police officers approach. T. Cas starts slowly inching away trying to separate himself from the others.

Confessional Video:
Liquor: Was I scared? Yeah, I was scared. And don't think I didn't see T. trying to leave us. I wouldn't have been surprised if he snitched us out to save his own skin.

Resume Scene

Police Officer: Hey, you! Stop right there!

T. Cas: Who me?

Police Officer: Yeah, you. I wanna ask you some questions.

T. Cas: What’s the deal, Mr. Officer?

Police Officer: We got a call about a disturbance in the club. Any of you know anything about that?

Silence.

Police Officer: Well, what do you know?

Liquor: We were just hanging out here. I don’t know what happened.

KZ: That’s right. We were just minding our own. Then we heard a ruckus.

Police Officer: Did you see who was fighting?

Nsane: I ain’t seen shit! (under her breath) Pig!

Police Officer: What was that, Miss?

Nsane: Sorry, sir. I didn’t see anything.

Police Officer: Are you Americans?

T. Cas: Yeah, we just down here on vacation. Can we go now? We are about to meet some friends on the beach.

Garbled radio transmissions emanate from a 2nd cop’s radio. He grabs the speaker and says.

2nd Police Officer: 10-4. Gary, we have to go. We have a situation upstairs in room 112

KZ: That’s our…

T. Cas: Shh!

Police Officer: You all can go now. Stay out of trouble.

Liquor: Thanks officer. Be safe, son!

Police Officer: Did you just call me son?

2nd Police Officer: Not now, Gary. Let’s roll.

The police officers walk in the hotel lobby leaving T. Cas, KZ, Nsane and Liquor outside.

Confessional Video:
Nsane: You gotta know how to deal with the police. They basically just some lames with a badge on a power trip. They always tryna hold us down. Fuck them jumpouts.

Resume Scene

Nsane: That was a close one. Five – O almost hemmed us up.

KZ: Why they going to our room? Cas, you ain’t got no contraband do you?

T. Cas: Nah, I ain’t smoked no weed since April 24th, 1999. I’m good.

Liquor: Must be Robert. Should we go see what’s up?

KZ: Nah, the cop saw us. I’m sure Mack’ll be aiight.

A scooter pulls up and Nikki hops off.

Nikki: Thanks, brother. That was enlightening.

Island Guy: (indecipherable Patois)

Nikki: I’m definitely gonna call you.

Island Guy: (indecipherable Patois)

Nikki: My number? Uhhh… yeah, I don’t ever keep my phone on, but the number is 777-9311.

The Island Guy drives off and Nikki joins her roommates.

T. Cas: Who the hell was that?

Nikki: Awww, ain’t nobody. Evidently, these island brothas ain’t about shit. He thought I was gonna fuck him and I just met him.

KZ: Did you? And if you did, did you tape it?

Nikki: Horny Bastid!

Nsane: Did you find Missy while you was gallivanting around the island?

Nikki: She ain’t back yet? I hope she having better luck than I did. How about Mack? Last I seen that brother was down on the beach.

Liquor: The cops on their way to the guys room now. I don’t know what’s going on.

Nikki: Word? I hope Mack aiight. Why you ain’t go check it out?

Nsane: We had to throw some blows with these chickens in the hotel club. Cops might still be looking for us.

T. Cas: Yeah, but they don’t know what you look like. Why don’t you go check it out for us? Room 112.

Nikki: Aiight, I’m on my way. Don’t go nowhere. I’ll be right back.

The camera follows Nikki as she walks in the hotel lobby. She walks around the corner and sees 2 police officers outside Room 112.

Nikki: Yo, that’s my homeboy’s room. What’s going on?

Police Officer: What’s your name, girly?

Nikki: I’m Nikki. What’s going on?

Police Officer: You know a Nikki? (pauses) You can go in.

Nikki walks in the room and sees Rob Mack sitting in a chair with an ice pack applied to his head. Missy is sitting on the bed adjacent to Rob Mack.

Nikki: Yo!!! Missy, where da hell you been? We been looking all over for you.

Missy: I was…

Nikki: The fuck is going on here, Mack. Someone beat your ass?

Rob Mack: I got set up. I was chillin with this honey when 3 guys busted in the room.

Confessional Video:
Nikki: When I walked in the room it was like all hell broke loose. I mean, the room was straight ransacked and my man Rob Mack had a Flintstone lump on the side of his head. I’m glad Missy was there for him. But where the hell was she all day, anyway? Remind me to interrogate her ass about that.

Resume Scene

Missy: I came to see what everyone was doing and I saw Rob handcuffed to the bed. They had already left by the time I got here, but they cleaned the room out.

Rob Mack: Yeah, it was messed up. But at least I got some pussy out of it.

Nikki: You fucked? Man, I’m jealous!

Rob Mack: Nikki, you left me on the beach to hang with The Mighty Quinn. Was it worth it? Did you at least get some?

Nikki: Nah, that brotha was trife. I couldn’t understand a fucking word he was saying. I’m totally sorry that you got jacked, Mack.

Rob Mack: I told you. We come together, we leave together. I should have known something like this would happen.

Nikki: Dude, I said I’m sorry. Let that shit go! Somebody need to go tell the others what’s happening.

Missy: I’ll go. Where are they?

Rob Mack: HELL NO!!! You ain’t going nowhere. You the whole reason we broke up in the first place. Who the hell did you meet so quick anyway?

Missy: My friend was down here on vacation too. I saw him when we were checking in.

Nikki: You fuck, too??? Damn, ya’ll did your thing.

Missy: Just because I was chillin with that Negro, don’t mean I was doing him. Why come you be all up in my shit?

Nikki: Yeah, right! We’ll see on the reunion special. I know they had that night vision shit watching you.

The other 4 roommates come to the door.

T. Cas: Damn, what happened here?

Rob Mack: Long story, I’ll tell you about it later.

Police Officer: We meet again. Is this your room?

KZ: Yeah, this is our abode. Is Mack all right?

Police Officer: He’ll be fine. I need for you all to check your belongings and see if anything was stolen. Come by the station in the morning and we’ll take your report.

Confessional Video:
T. Cas: I'm not really trying to go down to the station. Whatever they took, just charge it to the game. Last thing I need is to have to come back down to the Bahamas to testify against some island syndicate. Just let me go home. This shit is bananas, yo!

Resume Scene

The police officers leave and the roommates gather for a pow wow in the guys room. The camera shows Rob Mack talking and the sound cuts in at the end of his speech.

Rob Mack: … and that’s what happened. Go ahead and clown me if you want.

KZ: Shit, I ain’t gonna clown you. I’m gonna congratulate you, homey. You was the first one to get some moisture this trip.

T. Cas: Hell yeah, You the man, Mack!!!

Liquor: (laughing) You guys are sick.

Confessional Video:

KZ: Man, Mack's forehead was swole up like Hasim Rahman. He got beat up, but at least he got a chance to beat up some pussy!

Resume Scene

Nsane: Man, some crazy shit done went down in the Bahamas. We need to go home.

Nikki: We just got here and you ready to go.

Nsane: What if the cops figure out we were the ones fighting in the club? I got warrants, nigga!

T. Cas: I feel that. At some point, you gotta recognize the warning signs. I mean, Liquor and Nsane fighting in the club. Missy disappearing, Rob Mack getting jacked.

Liquor: For the record, I wasn’t fighting.

T. Cas: I saw you throw that bottle on the sly. I ain’t never known you to waste some alcohol.

Liquor: Well, the bottle was empty.

KZ: Aiight, I guess we gotta take a vote. All in favor of staying say “yeaaaah boyeee” and all in favor of leaving say “Audi 5000”

Confessional Video:
Missy: I am having a good time. I’m not trying to leave yet. There’s so much more to do down here. Besides, my friend is supposed to take me to brunch tomorrow. I hope my roommates don’t make us leave. I got a new 2 piece for tomorrow that’s sessy as hell.

Resume Scene

The camera rolls back and reveals a long lens view of the roommates and goes out the open hotel room door. The door closes and the final camera shot reveals Room 112. Fade to Black.

Commercial Break

It was written...

The Napoleon Post

2006-09-25T08:55:00.000-04:00

You ever read a blog regularly and then you see a post that says "I'm busy, I'll be back." Does that piss you off or is that just me? Are you like me and don't really wanna hear the excuses? It's like how dare they stop blogging to live their lives. Is that just me? I hope so, because now I have to do it to you.

This post will be extra short, because as I type this, I am supposed to be working. Twice last week and today, I've had to go to work like a normal person at 8 AM. That wouldnt really be a problem if I left early, but I been slaving doing 12 hours days, with no OT by the way. Sometimes I hate being salaried. But that's not the point. The point is that I am going to try to finish up The Blog Real World this week, but I can't promise anything.

As far as this past weekend, I hung out with some bloggers that were in town. Friday night, I went out to dinner with Royce's Daughter and Blah Blah Blah. We had a good time, talking, laughing and drinking. Saturday, I went to the Tribe Called Quest concert with Blah at the Tabernacle. I got hyped, had weed blown in my face, and got molested by some White girls. Good times! LOL. Sunday, I watched some football and chilled out. I know that is some meager story telling, but like I said, I'm supposed to be working right now. Hopefully, RD will have some pictures of Friday night, cuz my dumb ass left my camera in the car.

Anyway, let me get to my business so I can leave the plantation at a decent hour. Hopefully inspiration will hit me tonight and I'll feel like writing something more substantial after I watch the Falcons beat up on the Saints on Monday Night Football. Happy Monday Everybody!!!

It was written...

Like Judge Wapner, BAM! Take 'Em To Court

2006-09-22T09:08:00.000-04:00

Inspiration: Case of the PTA - Leaders of the New School "and now it's time to pay for the crime that I never got caught/ like Judge Wapner(BAM! take em to court) /a room of teachers, parents, and preachers/a principal and one kid dress in sneakers/Case of Brown Versus The Board(ORDER ORDER)/yo twelve, verse one is a slaughter"

What I'm Listening To: "God's Stepson" Nas (9th Wonder remix of "God's Son" album)

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today: "How many people gonna be mad that I didn't do another Blog Real World joint?"

Yesterday was an interesting day. I had to go to court for my job. A former employee was trying to get worker comp benefits from my company due to psychological stress that me and another manager supposedly caused her and I had to be there in case they needed me to testify. Let me run through how it went down.

First of all, I had to be downtown Atlanta at 8:30 to meet our HR lady. Anybody who knows me will tell you that I am not a morning person at all. I have a problem sleeping at night, so getting up early in the AM is not my forte. I actually didn't fall asleep until 5:30 and had to wake up at 6:30 in order to get ready and down to our corporate office in time. Amazingly, (for me) I didn't get lost like I always do when I go downtown, and I made it to the parking garage with plenty of time to spare. But... once I got in the building, that was another story. I was supposed to meet the HR lady at her office, but I couldn't find it for anything. She was on the second floor, which sounds easy enough, but the elevator didn't have any numbers. I'm looking for 2, but they had abbreviations, like G (ground), AT (atrium), GN (garden level). I was like WTF? So, I'm wandering around the building for awhile trying to find her before I finally ask somebody where to go. The security guards says go up the escalators, pass the food court, go up another elevator and take the escalator down. I was really confused. Finally, I ran into her and we met up with another one of the witnesses and walked to the court.

We were supposed to meet our lawyer at 9Am to go over what to expect. We get there at 8:55. There were metal detectors at the door, but no security guard. That was my first sign that this was going to be some bootleg stuff going on. We walked through the metal detectors and noticed that they were not even on. I hoped that this crazy deranged ex employee wasn't gonna bring a gun in there and hold us all hostage. We sat outside the courtroom waiting for our lawyer, who didn't show up until 9:20. That gave me a prime opportunity to people watch. There are some funny looking people in Atlanta and most of them can be found in court.

So, the lawyer finally shows up and starts talking about the case in the lobby. I asked him if we should go somewhere private, but he declined. He's talking about all this confidential information in the presence of others and I'm thinking that this is really unprofessional, but what do I know? I'm not a lawyer. The employee walks in (with a Bible in her hands) and sits down right next to our lawyer and he is still talking. We are trying to signal him, but he is so enthralled with his own words that he is not paying any attention. Finally, he gets the point and stops laying out our entire case in front of her. Not that it really mattered as I was soon to find out.

We go into the courtroom and find out that the employee, (We will call her Julie, from now on) does not have a lawyer. Julie is representing herself. A little background about her. Julie is not the smartest person in the world but she loves to argue. This whole workman's comp case stems from us talking to her about her attitude at work. Back in December we brought Julie in the office to talk about some complaints we got about her being negative at work. Her co workers were sick and tired of her complaining about everything and told management about it. This was not a disciplinary meeting, but just a conversation about how we could make her happier at her job. My involvement was simply as a witness to the conversation. Well, when we were talking to her, she got defensive as hell and demanded to know who was talking about her, which of course is confidential. According to her workers comp claim, Julie got depressed b/c we wouldnt tell her and as a result got high blood pressure, chest pains and depression. I didn't know I had that much power over her.

The judge called the case and our lawyer tried to get it dismissed, because in the state of GA, workers comp has to result from a physical injury. You can't claim emotional or psychological stress. The judge tried to get Julie to drop the case because she had no chance of winning, but she refused. The judge told Julie that if she proceeded with an unreasonable case that she might have to pay our company's legal expenses. Julie still refused to drop the case. The judge did all she could short of saying "You can't win this case" before we finally proceeded.

They did all the legal mumbo jumbo of motions and objections and since Julie was representing herself, the judge had to explain every step to her. We had a long delay while they marked exhibits and decided who could testify and who couldnt. Finally, Julie got up to testify. She started off asking herself questions. It was crazy. The judge finally stopped her and told her just to give her testimony. The whole time, Julie kept saying that we were "intentionally abusing" her trying to make her sick, but never said why we would do that. It would have been funny if it wasn't so sad. Who am I kidding? It still was funny how bitter and paranoid she was. She got cross examined and started yelling at us from the witness stand. The judge had to admonish her several times. Julie grabbed her Bible every time the judge said anything to her.

Then came her evidence... All of her evidence was articles she printed off the internet. Julie thought that she could use this to supercede the law. She also wrote little notes all over her evidence. She really didn't know what she was doing. Our lawyer objected to every little piece of evidence, until the judge told him on the sly, that he should let it go because it makes her case seem even more "unreasonable." I was thinking the same thing, but I gave our lawyer the benefit of the doubt that he knew what he was doing. Umm... he didn't.

After 3 hours in court, I didn't even have to testify. Bottom line, is that Julie had no chance of winning the case under GA law and even if she did, she messed herself up by trying to represent herself. She's gonna wind up owing even more money for lawyer's fees. It was a big ole waste of my time that I could have used sleeping or reading blogs or doing actual work. And just to be true to form, I got lost trying to leave the city. I couldnt find the highway to save my life. Thanks Julie!!! LOL

It was written...

The Blog Real World: A Night On The Town

2006-09-21T03:05:00.000-04:00

I only got one or two more of these left in me. My ADD is acting up. Also, sorry for not visiting your blogs that often. I have been real busy with work. If you missed the other episodes, you can check them in the archives. I'm too lazy to hyperlink them.

THE BLOG REAL WORLD: A NIGHT ON THE TOWN

Confessional Video:
Missy: Where did I disappear to? That’s none of your business. Besides, I know I wasn’t the only one having some fun in the Bahamas…

Start Scene

Upbeat music plays and the camera shows shots of tourists frolicking in the ocean and on the beach.

Confessional Video
Rob Mack: There was definitely something in the air. I don’t know what it was but the roommates were out of control.

Confessional Video:
Nikki: Was there some sex and violence in the Bahamas? I’ll never tell.

Missy is walking down the beach with her island companion. He is towering over her and has his arm over her shoulder. The sun is setting and it’s hard to make out the image. The camera switches to a green glowing night vision. The island man leans in close to Missy and they kiss. They lie down on the beach and the scene changes.

Rob Mack and Nikki are looking for Missy. They hold a conversation while they are walking.

Rob Mack: Is that Missy over there on the beach?

Nikki: ummm…yeah.. I think so

Rob Mack: You ain’t even looking, (pointing) Over there!

Nikki: Yeah, that’s definitely her... you should go check that out. I’ll be waiting over here

Rob Mack: Nikki, pay attention. What are you looking? Oh never mind. I suppose you gonna go talk to Bob Marley over there.

Nikki: Yeah, go find Missy. I’m cool

Nikki walks over to a palm tree where a guy is standing drinking out of a coconut. The camera maintains a distance and doesn’t pick up what they are saying. The camera shows the two talking, and the conversation is subtitled on the screen.

Nikki: Hi, I’m Nikki.

Island Guy: (indecipherable patois)

Nikki: I’m only on the island for a few days.

Island Guy: Allow me to show you the real Bahamas

Nikki: I don’t even know you…okay, lets go.

Island Guy grabs Nikki’s hands and they walk towards a scooter and drive off. Rob Mack stands on the beach and looks incredulous. A beautiful island woman approaches from behind

Rob Mack: I can’t believe she just left me.

Woman: Ya girlfriend?

Rob Mack: (smiling) No, not at all. How are you, beautiful, I’m Robert.

Woman: My name is Neela. Are you American?

Rob Mack: That’s right, love. I’m from the beautiful city of Chicago. You ever been there?

Neela: No, I’ve never been off the island

Rob Mack: So this is where you’ve been my whole life.

The camera follows as they walk off together. They have inaudible conversation as they walk back to the hotel room. Rob Mack opens the door and leads Neela inside. The door closes and the camera gives a close up of Room 112.

CUT SCENE

KZ and Liquor meet up with Nsane and T. Cas in the hotel lobby.

KZ: What up *Africans*? You find Missy?

T. Cas: Nah, she in the wind. Probably out with some guy. It is what it is.

Nsane: Where are Mack and Nikki?

Liquor: Last I saw they was on the beach. But I don’t know where they are now.

KZ: So what are we gonna do tonight? It’s our first night here.

Liquor: Let’s get drunk!!!

T. Cas: I hear that.

Nsane: I think they got a club in the lobby

The 4 roommates walk into the nightclub. It’s filled with tourists dancing to non authentic island music. A drunk lady is staggering around the club wearing a red, green and gold knit cap. Fake dreadlocks are flowing from under the hat.

Drunk Lady: Hey Mon!!!

Liquor: No, she didn’t just say Hey Mon! We ain’t even in Jamaica!

Nsane: Somebody needs to tell her that shit ain’t cute.

KZ: Don’t worry about that. Let’s just have a good time. Yo Cas! Check your peripheral. Honeys at 9 o clock

T. Cas: Aiight, I’ll be your wingman.

T and KZ walk over to a couple of ladies who are sitting at a table, while Nsane and Liquor accept drinks from gentleman suitors. They are laughing and flirting with a number of guys.

Liquor: These guys down here are really sweating us.

Nsane: That’s cuz we the shit.

Liquor: Why is that Hey Mon chick staring?

Nsane: If she don’t stop looking, I’m gonna go upside her head with this glass.

Liquor: She just can’t handle her liquor. Don’t sweat it son.

Confessional Video:
Liquor: She was looking at us hard. I don’t know if she was feeling jelly cuz all the men were up on us or what? But all that eye hustling is gonna get her beat down. Nsane don’t play like that.

Cut Scene:

KZ and T. are talking to their newfound lady friends and drinking. The ladies get up to go to the restroom and the guys have a chat.

T. Cas: Just so we don’t have any repeats of the Sangin Diva incident, which one of the girls are you feeling?

KZ: Give me the one in the pink. Her ass is tremendous.

T. Cas: Okay, so I’ll take the other one.

KZ: Cool, although I would be careful. She almost looks like a dude.

T. Cas: Da fuck are you talking bout? She’s mad cute.

KZ: I can’t place my finger on it, but she has some masculine features. Did you check her hands? She got man-hands!

T. Cas: Thanks, Zed. Now I’m gonna be all conscious of that. We gotta switch.

KZ: Hell nah, *African*. You already agreed.

Confessional Video
KZ: I was just fuckin with T. I know that wasn’t a man, but I still owe him for that bullshit he pulled with Sangin Diva. He knows that’s supposed to be my woman.

Resume Scene

The ladies come back from the restroom and rejoin KZ and T. The camera cuts to a close up of T. looking worried. He slyly grabs his girl’s hands and examines them for masculine features.

Confessional Video
T. Cas: Zed got in my head. I’ll get him back. She is most definitely all woman.

Cut Scene

Back to Nsane and Liquor. The drunk lady is still staring a hole through the ladies. Nsane finally gets fed up and approaches her.

Nsane: Hey, bitch.. whadafuck you looking at?

Drunk Lady: You and your friend think you can come down here and take all the guys.

Nsane: Stop looking at me before I bust your shit.

Drunk Lady: You and what army???

Liquor: Leave this corny woman alone, Nsane. She’s not worth it.

The drunk woman swings at Nsane, who ducks. The punch catches Liquor dead in the grill. Nsane starts swinging back and knocks the drunk lady to the ground. Drunk Lady’s friends jump on Nsane and before you know it, all hell breaks loose. Bottles are flying, chairs are in the air and it turns into and all out fracas.

Various Voices: Get her! Beat that hoe’s ass! Westside!!!!

KZ and T jump in and drag Nsane and Liquor out of the melee. They push the ladies outside.

T. Cas: We gotta go before the cops come. I ain’t trying to bail you out of Bahamas jail.

KZ: What about the broads? We got them right where we want them.

Nsane: Yo, get the hell off me. I ain’t done with them skanks. (yelling) YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME!!!!

Liquor: I’m too drunk for this. Let’s bounce, son!

Just then the police show up, They are wearing white shirts and shorts and holding billy clubs. They approach the 4 roommates. “I Shot the Sheriff” plays in the background.

Confessional Video:
T. Cas: I made it 31 years without being arrested. I was scared as hell. I don’t wanna go to jail on vacation. It’s like Craig getting fired on his day off. Shit is fucked up down here. I wasn’t even fighting. I just wanted to have a good time.

Commercial Break

It was written...

Movie Meme

2006-09-20T10:03:00.000-04:00

I need to take a break from the Blog Real World for a minute (translation: I didn't write the next part) so I'm taking the easy way out and posting a meme. This one is short and it's about movies.

MOVIE MEME:

1. First movie you remember seeing on the big screen
I'm sure its not the first movie I saw, but back in 82, I was visiting my grandparents in Savannah. My grandfather was supposed to take me to see Rocky 2. Instead he took me to see Blade Runner and made me promise not to tell my grandmother since it was rated R. He made me cover my eyes during the nude scene. I remember not understanding that movie at all, and when I saw it last year, I was bored out of my skull.

2. Movie from which you can quote multiple lines in your sleep?
I can recite a few movies top to bottom. Pulp Fiction is one. I watch it every time it comes on cable. Friday is another one.When it first came out, I saw Friday with 2 different girls in one weekend. And everytime, I would smoke weed, we watched it on video.

3. Director (dead or alive) with whom you’d like to have dinner?
Alfred Hitchcock. His films were just so twisted. I can only imagine what he would do if he was alive now and didn't have to deal with censors.

4. Movie that should have won an Oscar but didn’t.
Malcolm X. That movie was just on such a grand scale. Everything about it screamed Oscar. It was well made, had great performances and was inspirational. Everything that the Oscars look for, except that pesky Blackness.

5. Movie that didn’t disappoint despite being an adaptation of a book.
I might be the only person who likes this movie, but I thought Beloved was a great adaptation of the novel.

6. Movie you were dragged to by someone else expecting to hate but loved.
Forrest Gump. I hate inspirational movies. I hate movies about retards. I wanted to avoid this movie at all costs. My ex girlfriend Lisa made me watch it and I started off mocking it, but by the end I was like "Run, Forrest, Run" like everyone else in the theater.

7. Movie that still scares the crap out of you no matter how many times you watch it.
The Exorcist. Something about the religious overtones of the movie still bothers me. I can watch the goriest movies and they don't bother me, but the idea of being possesed gets under my skin. You would think I was Catholic or something.

8. Movie that still makes you bawl no matter how many times you see it.
I don't cry at movies... except once. I cried after watching "City of Angels." I think it was the sad music, but dammit, I punked out when Nicholas Cage gave up being an angel and Meg Ryan died and left him alone.

9. Movie that still has you rolling around on the floor with laughter no matter how many times you’ve seen it.
There are a few. Right now its the 40 Year Old Virgin. The original Friday and Half Baked are still on the list. For some reason, Adam Sandler movies always crack me up too.

10 Favorite movie from before you were born: I like the old black and white movies. Casablanca, Citizen Kane, The Maltese Falcon, Arsenic and Old Lace, etc.. But I would have to say that the Godfather is my favorite from before I was born. It came out in 72, and I was born in 74.

11. Random movie fact about you:
I got 2:
1: I want to watch every movie on the AFI list of 100 best movies. I'm about halfway through the list. I already know that the last 2 I watch are going to be Gone With The Wind and Birth of a Nation. I'm gonna have to force myself to watch those racist movies. I was planning on finishing this list by the end of the year, but I became obsessed with blogging and that took up all my spare time.

2. When i first moved down south, I used to lie and tell people that I was in Beat Street. I told them I was one of the extras in the kids breakdance crew. This was before people could just pop in the video whenever they wanted to and call me out.

12. Have you been in any movies? No, but they filmed Glory in Savannah while I was living there and a lot of people I know were cast as extras.

It was written...

The Blog Real World: What's Next!?!?

2006-09-19T08:26:00.000-04:00

The Blog Real World: What’s Next!?!?

The roommates gather at the round table in the dining room to deliberate. As usual, Nikki is the first to speak.

Nikki: So what we gonna do about them clowns? They obviously can’t go around hitting people.

Nsane: They didn’t hit on shit. That was the worst fight I ever seen. I used to beat them fast ass boys off me better than that when I was 12.

Rob Mack: We can’t get rid of them. Those are my blogger big brothers.

Missy: But we all signed a non violence agreement. Can we just ignore that?

Liquor: I say we keep them around to see if they actually land a blow next time.

Nikki: Sometimes people mess up. We gotta give them a second chance.

Rob Mack: If they leave, then who are we gonna get? What are our options?

Nsane: It’ll probably be some guys. Maybe Boss Mack?

Liquor: Noo. He’ll be tryna pimp us out. Maybe one of the gay bloggers out there?

Rob Mack: I ain’t going for that. I’ll take my chances with T and KZ.

Nikki: Maybe one of those sexy poet types. I can totally get with that.

Missy: Do you really wanna wake up every morning to a sonnet? I think we have to keep the ones we have now.

Nsane: They need to go. Not because I’m scared they gonna fight again, but because them dudes aint got no heart.

Nikki: Okay, lets take a vote.

Dramatic music plays, and the camera circles around the round table. You see hands go up, but don’t know whether they are voting to kick T. and KZ out or to keep them. Miss Ahmad enters the room.

Miss Ahmad: I understand that you have come to a decision?

Nikki: Yes, we have.

Miss Ahmad: (talking on her headset): Will you send KZ and T. Cas in the room?

The defendants walk in the room humbly. They look at the roommates, who do not acknowledge their gazes.

Miss Ahmad: Your roommates have made up their minds. I’ll let them tell you their decision. Nikki, I believe you are going to speak for the group?

Nikki: Yes, I am… Fellas, what you have done is reprehensible. I can’t believe that you jeopardized your standing in the house for a petty fight. It was completely uncalled for. We voted and by a majority decision of 3-2, we have decided…

Commercial Break

Confessional Video:
T. Cas: Whatever happens, happens. I have enjoyed my time on The Real World and I have gotten to know these 6 people very well. If I have to go, then I’ll go with no regrets.

Resume Scene

Nikki: You punk ass mofos can stay!!!

Upbeat ska music plays and the roommates all hug and rejoice jubilantly.

T. Cas: Thank you guys very much. I promise it wont happen again.

KZ: Which 2 of you bastards voted against me?

Rob Mack: It don’t even matter. You are here, now lets celebrate.

Miss Ahmad: This seems like an appropriate time to reveal this years vacation spot. The 7 of you are going on an all expense paid trip to the Bahamas. Pack your stuff, the plane leaves in the morning.

Confessional Video:
Liquor: I usually like to take my vacations by myself. But I can’t turn down the islands. All that rum, all those men. I’m about to get my groove back.

The roommates continue their celebration. The music turns from Ska to a generic form of Reggae music and the scene fades out.

END SCENE

The next morning, the roommates are at the airport. There are scenes of them schlepping their luggage and going through security checks. They board the plane bound for the Bahamas. The next scene shows the plane landing and has scenic shots of the blue water, the beach and Islanders doing island things, like picking coconuts and a crowded marketplace. The roommates settle in their hotel rooms and then meet at the bar outside the hotel.

Confessional Video:
Missy: I can’t wait to hit the beach. I got 3 new bathing suits to try out. I hope the guys down here are ready for me. I’m bringing the sexy back.

Rob Mack: So what are we gonna do today?

Liquor: I don’t know about you all, but I’m just trying to chill out at the beach.

Nsane: You think they got some fire island weed out here? I’m tryna get blazed.

T. Cas: I’m down for whatever. This is the first time I ever left the states. I want to take it all in.

Nikki: Let’s find the real Bahamas! I mean where the people are disenfranchised and underserved. We can make a difference out here.

KZ: I’m all for that. But lets find some women first. Where did Missy go?

Nsane: I don’t see her. She was right here.

The roommates look around but can’t find Missy. They split up and begin to search. Nikki and Rob Mack go one way. KZ and Liquor go another and T. Cas and Nsane goe off in a different direction.

Rob Mack: Where do you think she went?

Nikki: I don’t know but she probably doing her own thing. Every now and then you gotta just do you!

Rob Mack: I know but we came as a group, we should hang as a group.

CUT SCENE

KZ: I don’t know why we even looking for her. Missy is a grown ass woman.

Liquor: You’re right. Let’s hit the bar.

CUT SCENE

T. Cas: Let’s be real. You and Missy been hanging tighter than gnat booty for the whole time we have been in the house.

Nsane: What are you saying?

T. Cas: You know what’s up with Missy, don’t you?

Nsane: She just dipped out, I don’t know where she went.

T. Cas: Did you…

Nsane: Did we what?

T. Cas: Are you..

Nsane: Stop beating around the bush and ask what you wanna ask. You been implying it for weeks.

T. Cas: Are y’all doing each other? Maybe you had a fight and she left.

Nsane: I fucking knew it!!! No, we ain’t gay. We just friends. You horny muhfuckas try to make everything so dirty.

T. Cas: I had to ask…Sorry!

Confessional Video:
T. Cas: Shit, I had to ask. They been disappearing together for the whole time. I thought there was some HLA (hot les.bian action) going on. I guess I was wrong. Is it strange that I’m a little disappointed?

Confessional Video:
Rob Mack: I just want to know where Missy is. I hope she is all right wherever she is. I’m starting to get worried.

The camera takes a wide angle shot of the beach. The sun is setting. We zoom in and catch a glimpse of Missy. She is walking down the shore with a tall dreadlocked brother. She is wearing a blue bikini top and a sarong. The camera fades to black…

COMMERCIAL BREAK

It was written...

The Blog Real World: Houseguests and Fights

2006-09-17T14:44:00.000-04:00

The Blog Real World:

Confessional Video:
Nsane: The producers have told us that we’re getting a surprise visitor this week. I’m excited to see who it’s gonna be. We don’t have no jobs, so we have pretty much been hanging around doing nothing. I don’t know about the rest of the roommates, but it’s starting to get boring around here.

Begin Scene

The roommates are sitting around the living room, looking bored. KZ and Nikki are shooting pool, while Missy watches. Rob Mack and Nsane are playing videogames. Liquor and TV and T. Cas are sitting at the bar on the laptop. The camera pans across the room and then the doorbell rings. KZ walks to the door and opens it…

Sangin Diva: Hey, roomies!!!

KZ: Ain’t this some shit… Sangin Diva in my house!!!

They hug and the other roommates come to greet their houseguest.

Nikki: Hey, sista! What are you doin’ here?

Sangin: I had a show in town, and I couldn’t leave without seeing some of my favorite bloggers.

Confessional Video:
T. Cas: Wow, Sangin Diva is in the mansion. She was my first blogger crush, ya know! I finally got to meet her. Look at her; she’s so beautiful. And that voice… I’m just so glad she took the time to meet us.

Resume Scene

Sangin Diva takes a seat and the camera cuts to the three guys. They are looking longingly at her as she shoots the breeze with the girls. Sangin’ is talking and laughing with the girls but the camera is not picking up the conversation. The guys huddle in the corner and have a conversation

KZ: I’m putting in my bid right now. I’m calling shotgun with the Diva.

T. Cas: You can’t call shotgun. I saw her first.

KZ: I been commenting on her blog. And I actually met her. She’s mine, homey.

Rob Mack: Both of you are trippin’. Let the lady choose. She gonna choose the Mack.

T. Cas: Okay, we’ll see. But have you read her comments to me… I think I got this on lock.

KZ: We’ll see *African*. You probably gonna be afraid to talk to her anyway with your anti social ass. You ain’t no real competition anyway.

T. Cas: You wanna put something on it?

Rob Mack: Let me in on this action. I love a competition.

Confessional Video:
KZ: Cas and Mack don’t know what they are in for. The ladies can’t resist this. I’m the Juggernaut, Bitch!!

End Scene

The three guys are surrounding Sangin while the girls watch on. Nsane and Missy have interested looks on their faces.

Missy: Da hell are they doing?

Nikki: You know they showing out for our houseguest.

Nsane: These ass-wipes are making themselves look stupid. Sangin ain’t stuttin none of them.

Nikki: But I totally don’t blame them. She is a beautiful sista.

Liquor: This is so funny. 3 grown men running after her like a puppy dog. My money is on KZ… I’m bout to get a drink and watch the scene unfold…

The camera shows T. Cas, Rob Mack and KZ flirting with the Diva…

Confessional Video:
Liquor: I don’t know who said what, but the next thing I know…

Resume Scene

The theme from Jaws is playing in the background and the camera focuses on T. Cas. He has the “Fuck you, I’m from New York” look on his face. The camera pans in slow motion towards KZ. He has the “nigga, you soft” look on his face They move towards each other in slow motion and…

Confessional Video
Rob Mack
It was just like the end of Rocky 3. You know when Rocky and Apollo Creed were punching at the same time and it turned into a Leroy Neiman painting? One minute we were all talking and the next minute, they were throwing blows.

Resume Scene

The camera is gyrating as T and KZ scuffle. At one point the cameraman falls over and you can see his shoes in the shot. Missy and Nsane are egging them on, while Nikki and Liquor stay out of the way…

Missy: Fawk him up Tee!!

Nsane: I ain’t seen a good fight since I left the Westside. Throw them thangs!!!

T and KZ grapple, but neither one of them lands anything of any significance. Rob Mack eventually comes between them and breaks up the fight.

Nikki: Y’all done? You got that out your system?

T. Cas: I’m cool.

Nikki: KZ, you straight.

KZ: Yeah, I’m good.

Liquor and TV is rolling on the floor laughing.

Liquor: You lucky you didn’t make me spill my drink or there would have been hell to pay. (To Sangin Diva) You see what you did?

Sangin: As much as I enjoy having guys fight over me, I must be going. I have a flight to catch.

Missy and Nsane walk Sangin to the door and she makes a hurried exit. T. Cas goes outside and sits next to the hot tub. The camera gets in close to his face. His eyes are red, and he has an intense glare on his face. Nikki follows him outside.

Nikki: What happened, T? Why’d you start fighting?

T. Cas: I can’t explain it, but I felt like KZ was disrespecting me. I had an out of body experience.

Nikki: Dude, that shit was hilarious. You really can’t fight, can you?

T. Cas: Shut up, Nikki. I ain’t in the mood.

Nikki: You were about as graceful as a virgin in his first piece of pussy.

T. Cas: You crazy. I told you I can’t fight.

Cut Scene

KZ is sitting on the pool table, flanked by Missy and Nsane. Just then a female producer walks in the mansion.

Miss Ahmad: Hello, guys. Can I get all of the roommates to come in here?

KZ: Aren’t you Miss Ahmad? What are you doing here?

Miss Ahmad: I’m one of the producers for The Real World and we have to talk about what just happened here.

KZ: Me and Cas are cool. No need to talk about it.

All the roommates walk in and encircle Miss Ahmad.

Miss Ahmad: As you know, we have a strict no violence policy on The Real World. What KZ and T. Cas have done violates this policy.

T. Cas: You kickin us out the house? It wasn’t that serious.

Miss Ahmad: But it could have been. In years past, we would have immediately asked you to leave. But since this is a special blog edition of The Real World, we are going to leave it up to the roommates.

KZ: Are you fucking kidding me? We didn’t even land any blows. We are fine, ain’t that right, Cas?

T. Cas: Yeah, we ain’t got no beef. It was a momentary lapse in judgment. It won’t happen again. I promise.

Miss Ahmad: Unfortunately, it’s not up to you. We’re going to give the other roommates the final say. You have 1 hour to make up your mind. T and KZ, I’m going to have to ask you to vacate the premises while your roommates decide.

The camera pans around the roommates. Dramatic music plays in the backgrounds as the camera cuts to each individual roommate. Final shot of KZ and T. Cas walking out the door in slow motion…

COMMERCIAL BREAK

It was written...

The Blog Real World: The Job

2006-09-14T03:43:00.000-04:00

The Blog Real World: The Job

If you missed the beginning, you can catch it on Tivo: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Back from Commercial

Confessional Video
T. Cas: We’ve been in the house for a couple of weeks now. Everybody is getting along pretty well. But that’s probably going to change today. Today is our first day at work.

The camera pans to the sun rising over a beach. There are pelicans flying and people rollerblading and jogging. A shrill discordant beeping sound emanates from alarm clock and the digital display reads 7:00 AM. KZ, Rob Mack and Liquor and TV are sitting around the dining room table eating breakfast when Nikki walks in.

Nikki: Good morning, people!

KZ: What’s up bosoms!

Liquor: Morning, Nikki!

Rob Mack: What’s going on?

Nikki: Big day today. Our first day at work. I’m so excited they got us jobs at a music magazine.

Rob Mack: I don’t understand how the 7 of us are gonna write one article, but I’m down.

KZ: It’ll work. Just let me handle the metaphors and everything’ll be all right.

Nikki: And I can be in charge of the imagery. Put Cas in charge of the sarcasm.

Liquor: Speaking of Cas, where is he? We gotta be at the office in an hour.

Rob Mack: I think he still sleeping. Somebody should wake him up.

Nikki: I got it. Somebody go get Missy and Nsane… I guess they in your room again, Liquor. I didn’t see them this morning.

Liquor: Yeah, they in there. But they up and dressed. Just waiting on T. Cas

Nikki goes into the men’s bedroom. T. Cas is laid out with a pillow over his head.

Nikki: Yo, T!!! Time to get up. We gotta go to work.

T. Cas: 5 more minutes, Mom.

Nikki: I ain’t yo mama, fool. Get up!

T. Cas: Aiight, I’m up. Da fuck time is it anyway?

Nikki: It’s 7. Now get up and wash yo funky ass. Smell like you done rolled around in barn. Nasty muhfucka.

T. Cas: Fuck you, Nikki. Get the hell outta here. I’ll be ready.

The time is now 7:45. The roommates are all standing in the doorway preparing to leave. T. Cas comes rushing out the room trying to tie his tie.

Missy: Let me help you with that.

T. Cas: Thanks, Missy. You always there for me.

Rob Mack: Why you wearing a tie anyway? You need to put on some Air Force Ones and call it a day.

T. Cas: We gotta go through this everyday? I don’t have any casual clothes. Back home I wear a shirt and tie to work and it ain’t like I go out.

Liquor: Can you guys stop acting all ghetto so we can leave?

Nikki: I fucking hate that term. Why everything negative gotta be ghetto?

KZ: Okay, so they ain’t acting ghetto, but they acting real gay right now.

Nikki: That too. Why does gay mean bad? I mean explain this to me.

Nsane: It’s too early for this shit. Let’s get to work. (pauses) They ain’t gonna make us take a piss test are they?

END SCENE

The roommates arrive at nondescript office building. There is a magnetic sign on the office door that reads “The Savage Beast.” The door opens and a tall, lanky man with a thin mustache and a Dickie suit greets them.

Man: Good Morning, Real Worlders. My name is Darius Williams and I’m the CEO of “The Savage Beast.” We are the 23rd largest internet music news website in the state. We are excited to have you guys join us. I’m sure you want to know about what you will be doing for us so with no further adieu, let’s get started.

Darius leads them to a virtually empty room. There are 7 computers side by side like in a college computer lab. The roommates look at each other with skepticism and mockery.

Darius: These are your workstations. For the next 6 weeks, you will be researching and writing about the music biz for our website. We specialize in Urban music, but we are not afraid to branch out every now and then.

T. Cas: You say this is for a website? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of “The Savage Beast”

Missy: What’s the URL? Can we check out the page?

Darius: Unfortunately, a virus got in our mainframe and deleted all of our archives, so you guys will responsible for our relaunch.

Liquor: Where are the rest of your employees? Do they work from home?

Darius: (stammering) See, what had happened was…

Confessional Video:
KZ: Man, what kinda bootleg shit is this? “The Savage Beast? Sounds like some old marginal shit. I’m a kick MTV’s ass for this. And why is dude wearing a dickie suit. That shit ain’t cool.

Confessional Video:
Nikki: I’ll admit, the setup is not exactly perfect. But we get to write. Ain’t that what all bloggers want to do?

RESUME SCENE

Darius: Your first assignment is to decide on what you want to write about. I gotta go pay my cable bill, but when I get back, we’ll talk about your choices.

Nsane: What do you want us to write about? Any specific artist or styles…

Darius: (walking out the door) Yeah, do that! I’ll be back.

The roommates again exchange telling glances.

T. Cas: Man, what the hell is this? He gonna tell us to write, but not give us any idea about what to write about. And don’t get me started on this cat’s office.

Nikki: Okay, let’s get started. Toss out some ideas, folk.

Rob Mack: Are you serious? You think we are actually gonna work here. I already got 2 jobs… I’m not about to be nobody’s intern.

Nsane: He definitely ain’t gonna give us a piss test!!!

Nikki: Come on! Let’s just come up with a topic for our first article.

Missy: Who died and made you editor? We all grown in here.

Nikki: Somebody gotta take charge. You triflin mofo’s aren’t doing shit.

KZ: Hold up, sweetness. Who you callin’ triflin?

Confessional Video:
T. Cas: What I tell you? You can’t have this many strong personalities working together without some drama. It’s just gonna get worse before it gets better. I know Nikki. She likes to be in control and that shit ain’t gonna fly with the roommates.

RESUME SCENE

Nikki: Aiight, you right! I apologize. I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just saying y’all procrastinating. Let’s get started. Darius will be back soon. I want to at least be able to have a couple of ideas for him. Now, who got one.

Liquor: Let’s see if we can get an interview with Deltron 3000. He’s mad underrated in the hip hop game.

Nikki: DELTRON?!?!?

T. Cas: Nikki, don’t!

Nikki: What Cas?

T. Cas: Leave it alone. Now is not the time.

Nikki: You think I’m gonna tell Liquor that Deltron sucks? I mean he does, but I ain’t gonna tell her. I ain’t gonna talk about how his rhymes are mental masturbation.

T. Cas: Stop it, Nikki. I’m begging you.

Nikki: You feel the same way. You told me that he sucks your damn self.

Missy: Who da hell is Deltron and why are you arguing about him? We need to write about someone that people have actually heard of.

Rob Mack: But everybody is gonna be writing about the popular people. We should make our article mean something.

Nikki: So, what we need is to write about someone who people have heard of, but still got skills.

KZ: Mainstream rap sucks! Unless…

Nsane: Talib Kweli!

T. Cas: Hell, yeah! I’m with that!

Nikki: Everybody down? Good, so now we got our idea.

Confessional Video:
Rob Mack: I’m not really feeling this so called internet magazine, but at least we agreed on something to write about. We’ll just see what happens next, but that Darius guy seems a little shady. I’m gonna have to keep my eyes open.

END SCENE

Outside the office building, T. Cas, Nikki and KZ are hanging out smoking. T. got a black and mild, Nikki got a Newport and KZ got his cloves.

T. Cas: So what you really think about the rest of the roommates? I mean, they all seem cool, but what is your impression of them?

Nikki: They mad cool. A little young, but cool nonetheless. I’m having a fucking ball…

KZ: The ladies are sexy as hell and Rob Mack is a cool younger brother type.

T. Cas: C’mon guys. This is the Real World. Let’s keep it real.

Nikki: Aiight, something has been bothering me. Why Nsane and Missy always hanging out separate from the rest of the group? What they got going on? I’m gonna check them on that shit. I wanna hang out too.

KZ: They probably fuckin…

T. Cas: You stupid, KZ. Wait, you think they are?

KZ: Of course. The sexy quotient is off the charts with them. They can't help but to moisturize their situation.

T. Cas: Anyway, I can’t figure Liquor and TV out. She got a sneaky ass smile. She always look like she up to something. I still think she did something to my drink that first night.

KZ: The only thing I’m mad at is that I haven’t skeeted all over one of their faces. Other than that they cool.

Nikki: Zed, you stupid.

They all laugh and then Darius walks up.

Darius: Can you get the rest of the roommates out here? I have an announcement.

T. Cas gathers Nsane, Missy, Liquor and Rob Mack and comes back outside.

Rob Mack: Man, it smells like smoke out here. I’m gonna be sick.

Missy: What’s going on, Darius?

Darius: Change of plans. “The Savage Beast” has lost our lease. Looks like we gonna have to shut down. We are getting evicted.

Nikki: YO!!! That shit is foul! You'z a herb, Darius.

T. Cas: You woke me up at 7 AM for this shit? Maybe you outta business cuz your magazine sounds like the name of a tattoo parlor.

Liquor: Son, you serious? I coulda been watching Living Single right now.

KZ: *African*, I knew you wasn’t about business. You remind me of them cats from Satan’s Anus. And since you ain’t my boss no more, what’s up with that Dickie suit? You think you a gangsta or something? You soft like cotton candy, dude!

Missy: Man, let’s be out. Da fawk was you thinking?

Nsane: This douchebag makes me sick.

Darius: Why it gotta be like that?

Rob Mack: I knew it as soon as I stepped in the office… Let’s ride out.

The roommates pile in the car and the camera follows them as they ride down the highway. They all have annoyed looks on their faces. Rob Mack decides to lighten the mood.

Rob Mack: So, Missy? What’s really going on with you and Nsane?

Dramatic music plays and then the screen fades to black.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Okay, the next installment is viewers choice. I'm almost out of ideas, so tell me what you want me to write about next. Other blogger's coming to the Real World house? A couple of the roommates fighting? The move out day? Should I just end this now? Give me some ideas!

It was written...

The Blog Real World: Personalities Revealed

2006-09-13T09:33:00.000-04:00

The Blog Real World – Personalities Revealed

BACK FROM COMMERCIAL

KZ opens the door and…

SURPRISE!!!!

The warehouse is full of party revelers standing around waiting quietly. The camera pans around the large space. There are a good 500 people in attendance. There is a huge stage with a DJ stand and speakers and a mike stand. A huge banner reads “Welcome to the Real World: Blog Edition.” On the wheels of steel: none other than DJ Clue. As the roommates timidly make their way inside the warehouse, he scratches a record and “All About The Benjamins” starts playing.

Nsane and Missy immediately make their way to the dance floor and get crunk, followed closely by Nikki and Rob Mack. They start dancing like it’s 1999 all over again. KZ, T. Cas and Liquor and TV post up at the bar and start people watching.

T. Cas – What is this place?

Liquor: I don’t know but there are too many people here. I’m about to get a drink.

T. Cas – Bartender! Let me get a Hen and coke and a Goose and cranberry for the lady. KZ what you want?

KZ: I want one of these ladies. I’ll catch you later.

KZ walks off and starts mingling with a group of women while T. Cas and Liquor and TV sip their drinks at the bar. DJ Clue is playing the popular club records of the day. He stops the music and makes an announcement.

DJ Clue: Cluemanati!!! I’d like to welcome all of you to the party of the year. (yelling) REAL WORLD!!!

The crowd goes wild as he continues.

DJ Clue: Can I get the roommates to the stage??

All of the roommates except T. Cas walk on the stage. T. Cas is sitting at the bar looking uncomfortable. Missy motions for T. to join them but he refuses and stays at the bar.

DJ Clue: Where’s the last roommate? Where he at?

Camera cuts to T. who has a worried countenance.

Confessional Video
T. Cas: Why people don’t believe me when I tell them I’m shy? I just wasn’t trying to stand in front of 500 strangers. For what? Why should I have to do something I don’t wanna do? I’m an individual, shit, I’m a rebel. Fuck DJ Clue.

RESUME SCENE

DJ Clue: Oh well. I guess he ain’t gonna come up. Give a big hand to the cast of The Real World: Blog Edition.

The crowd cheers for the 6 roommates, and then Clue puts on a new record. The roommates go over to T. Cas who is still sitting at the bar.

Liquor: What’s wrong with you, son? You drunk?

T. Cas: Nah, I’m cool

Rob Mack: Why you ain’t come up on stage?

KZ: Man you know how much pussy you just missed out on? Those girls are all over us now.

T. Cas: It ain’t about that… I don’t wanna talk about it.

Nsane: You actin like a straight lame nigga.

Nikki: T on that old bullshit. Stubborn muhfucka! Meanwhile, the rest of you folk are cool as shit.

Missy: Leave him alone. T. you all right with me!

T. Cas: Thanks Ma!

Confessional Video:
Nsane: I don’t know what the hell T’s problem was, but he was blowing my high. We all tryna have a good time and he over there acting all moody. I hope he don’t act like this the whole time we in this house.

RESUME SCENE

DJ Clue plays some down south ATL crunk/snap music. Missy and Nsane run to the dance floor. They start snap dancing, Poole Palace-ing, Lean Wit It/Rock Wit It-ing. KZ, Rob Mack and T. Cas are hanging out watching them.

KZ – Ay, yo! You see them on the floor?

Rob Mack: Did Nsane just grab Missy’s ass?

T. Cas: SHIT!!! I think so. Missy look like she liked that.

KZ: Okay, I can’t take this no more. I need to go find me a broad to dump my sperm in. I’ll check you *Africans* later.

Rob Mack: I hear that. Let me go test out my Mack O Meter. You straight, Cas? You finished actin like a little bitch.

T. Cas (laughing): Fuck you, bruh! I’m cool.

The camera follows KZ while he talks to a mediocre looking woman. He whispers something unintelligible in her ear and they walk off.

The camera cuts to Robert Mack. He is dancing with a short light skinned woman.

The camera then cuts to T. Cas. He is standing at the edge of the dance floor looking out of place. Sad alternative rock music plays over the scene and then the scene fades out to a commercial.

END SCENE

Later that night, the roommates are back at the Real World mansion. The three guys are sharing a room, while Nikki and Nsane are room dogs, and finally Missy and Liquor and TV. All are lying on their respective beds and reminiscing about the evening.

KZ: I’m telling you *Africans*, there was a plethora of ass at the spot. I got 4 numbers without even trying.

Rob Mack: I got 5 my damn self. The Mack is back on the scene. How’d you do Cas?

T. Cas: Man, I didn’t even get one.

KZ: That’s cuz you wasn’t applying yourself. You gotta be aggressive with it.

T. Cas: I hear what you saying, KZ! But you know I got Social Anxiety Disorder. I can’t talk to strangers

Rob Mack: I’m saying though. You can still talk to the girls. I feel what you saying, but this is a once in a lifetime experience.

T. Cas: I hear you, bruh. There’s always tomorrow, right!

KZ: Damn right Cas!

Confessional Video:
Rob Mack: I don’t know what to do with T. Cas. He seems like cool people, but I mean, all those women around and he didn’t even get one phone number. I mean, at least one should have fallen in his lap. That damn Social Anxiety Disorder bullshit. He too old to be acting that way.

END SCENE

Nsane: So did you have fun tonight, Nikki?

Nikki: Yo!! I had a fuckin blast! The only thing would have made that better was if I busted one.

Buzzing Sound!

Nsane: NIKKI!!! You ain’t doing what I think you doing over there?

Nikki: Uhh.. yeah can you excuse me for a minute?

Buzzing sound continues…

Nsane: Ewwww!!! I’m outta here.

Nsane gets out of bed and walks over to Missy and Liquor’s room.

Nsane: Hey guys, can I stay in here tonight? Nikki is ummm.. well… you know what she doing.

Missy: Come on in. Liquor over there knocked the fuck out. It would be good to have some company.

Liquor (sleeping): Hey Bonita. Glad to meet cha/For the cunning stunning you. Miss, I must beseech ya.

Nsane: Oh, she talks in her sleep.

Missy: No, she raps Tribe Called Quest lyrics in her sleep. Lie down and we can talk.

The camera shows Liquor and TV sleeping, then Nsane joining Missy on her bed. They are whispering so the viewer can’t hear what they are saying.

Confessional Video:
Liquor: I wasn’t really sleep. I just didn’t feel like talking. Did I hear what Missy and Nsane were talking about? Yeah, I heard it. But it ain’t my place to tell their business. But lets just say, the two of them have a lot in common. Before we leave this house, I think you will know what’s up.

The camera focuses on Missy and Nsane talking in the bed and then pans out for a wide angle shot. Fade to black.

COMMERCIAL BREAK…

For the next post, I'm gonna finally get off the first night at the Real World house. I told you I had no idea where this was going. LOL

It was written...

Go Ahead and Tell Me I Suck

2006-09-12T10:07:00.000-04:00

I know you probably came here expecting the next edition of The Blog Real World. Well, I apologize but I didn't have time to complete it. Why not, you ask? See what had happened was... Monday was a hectic day. There was so much going on at work that I didn't leave until 11 PM. On top of that I had a headache. I didn't even read my emails or respond to my comments and for a comment whore like myself, that's saying something. I know those are excuses, but it is what it is. Rather than have you keep coming back hoping that I just posted late, I decided to let you know the real deal. Umm.. my dog ate my homework. Hopefully, I'll get it together tonight and have the next installment ready for tomorrow. LOL. I know, I suck!!! Go ahead and tell me I suck. I can take it. In the meanwhile, go check out some of the people on The Infamous Blog Roll. There are some amazing writers and interesting people on there. Or check out some of My Favorite Posts. I'm sure there's something on there you haven't read or skimmed through because I was being longwinded. Have a great Tuesday and I'll be back tomorrow with The Blog Real World.

EDIT: Okay, get ready to laugh at Rashan. So, I was shaving this morning. I was going over my mustache with my electric clippers when the guard fell off and I shaved half my mustache off. Of course, I had to shave the rest of and now I look like a Black Republican or a 15 year old. I haven't decided which one yet. Take a look:

It was written...

The Blog Real World: Part 2 - The First Night

2006-09-11T18:32:00.000-04:00

BACK FROM COMMERCIAL (Click here for the first part)

The door opens to reveal none other than Nsane Lee Sane. Everybody rushes to greet the final roommate. Nsane backs up in a defensive posture and says:

Nsane: Did you wash your hands? You know I’m a germophobe.

Undeterred, Rob Mack takes his Chicago sister by the hand and shows her the mansion. Later that afternoon the roommates are gathered at the bar discussing their plans for the evening.

T. Cas: Y’all have fun. I’m just gonna chill for the night. I don’t feel like being around a bunch of people.

Rob Mack: Come on, man! It’s our first night in the Real World house. You can’t be sitting at the crib.

Nikki: I keep telling him, he needs to get himself out there. There are some cool people in the world.

Nsane: Let’s find the hood. It’s always some stuff popping off there.

KZ: I heard the AKA’s were having a set tonight.

Rob Mack: Yeah, let’s hit that. Redbones all over.

Missy: I’m a redbone, Mr. Mack. *winks*

Liquor and TV: I’m with T. I ain’t tryna go out tonight. I can chill here and watch TV and enjoy this bar.

The doorbell rings and Nikki answers it. She is handed an envelope from a fed ex delivery man. She signs for it and brings it to the bar.

Nikki – That Fed-Ex guy can deliver his package to me anytime.

Missy: I didn’t see him, was he sexy?

Nikki: Hell yeah! He was about 6’ 2”. Chocolate skin, perfect teeth…

T. Cas: Damn, Nikki!!! We get it, you horny. What’s in the package?

Nikki: It says here that we are supposed to go to a party tonight. It’s to welcome us to the Blog Real World.

Nsane: Does it say where it is?

Nikki: No, it’s a surprise. It just says to dress casual and that a limo will be picking us up at 10:00

T. Cas – That’s less than 2 hours. I hope we can all get ready by then.

KZ – Any of you ladies wanna take a shower with me? I mean to save time, of course.

END SCENE

KZ, Mack and T. Cas are in the bedroom getting ready for the party. They have their first talk as roommates.

Rob Mack: Which one of you is the gay roommate? You know they always have one gay dude on this show.

KZ – *African*, I’m trying to get as much blogger pussy off this shit as possible. I ain’t gay.

T. Cas- Come on, Ak… I’m straighter than 6 o clock.

KZ – That’s a Grand Puba line, right?

T. Cas – Yeah, I got all of Brand Nubian joints. That was the classic hip hop era.

KZ – I know, that was when cats really could rhyme.

T. Cas – Tribe, EPMD, Main Source…

Confessional Video

Rob Mack: I really felt kind of left out when T. and KZ were talking about hip hop. I mean it’s not my fault I was born a few years after them. It would have been nice if they would have at least tried to include me in the conversation.

END SCENE

Nikki and Nsane are in their bedroom talking and shooting the breeze. As is to be expected the topic of conversation is men.

Nikki – I’m so horny right now. I hope there are some fine brothas at this party.

Nsane: I ain’t stressing it. Most of these dudes out here scared of me anyway.

Nikki – Noooo! You are a beautiful sista. And if these niggas can’t see it, then fuck them. They ain’t worthy of you.

Nsane – I’m gonna make it my mission to hook you up tonight. I’ve been reading about your celibacy for too long.

Nikki: It’s a personal choice. I ain’t ready for just random dick. I need some substance behind it.

Nsane: No, what you need is to get hit from behind.

Confessional Video

Nikki: Nsane is my girl. I’m glad she was picked to join us in the Real World house. I can’t imagine anyone else I would rather be roommates with. She’s such a strong sista!

End Scene.

Missy is sitting on the orange sofa sending text messages to somebody. She has changed clothes and is ready for the party. Liquor and TV has also changed clothes and is at the bar making a batch of drinks for the roommates. She pours some red liquor in a glass and hands it to Missy.

Missy: Da fawk is this?

Liquor: I call it a Slurrycane. Be careful though cuz it will sneak up on you.

Missy: I can handle my liquor, Liquor!

Liquor: I’m just saying, son! Be easy with it.

Confessional Video

Missy: I didn’t appreciate the way Liquor tried to make it seem like I was a lightweight. I keep a fifth of Henny in my trunk. I think I can handle a little fruity drink like this. Da hell does she think she is? Isaac from the Love Boat?

RESUME SCENE:

T Cas comes downstairs and gets a drink from Liquor and TV. KZ follows shortly after conversing with Nsane. Rob Mack and Nikki bring up the rear and appear to be having an animated discussion. The clock reads 9:45 and the roommates gather in the living room. They break out in conversations amongst themselves.

Liquor: Hey T. What’s your favorite Wu-tang album?

T. Cas: Are we talking just Wu or any of the members?

Liquor and TV: Any of the Wu affiliates.

T. Cas: Definitely Cuban Linx followed by Ironman and Liquid Swords.

KZ: Yeah, those are dope! You like MF Doom?

Liquor: I love Doom!

T. Cas: I don’t know. I’m gonna have to disagree with you. Whenever I listen to that cat, it’s like there’s some private joke I’m not getting. It’s like “cuz I don’t understand him it don’t mean that he nice/It means I don’t understand the bullshit he say on the mic.”

Nikki: Aww damn! Cas speaking in lyrics again. Who did you steal that one from?

T. Cas. That’s Jay-Z – Blueprint 2

Nsane – My favorite Jigga song is “All I Need.” I guess I got my swagger back…

Rob Mack: Not you too! You guys gonna be quoting lyrics the whole time we are in the house?

T. Cas – Okay, I’ll chill. Just let me get another drink before the limo arrives.

T. Cas gets another drink from Liquor and TV and plops down on the couch a little too close to Missy. She scoots down a little to regain her personal space.

T. Cas: (words slurring) Hey, Missy! I remember when I first started reading you, you were called Missy. Then you changed to Ms. New Booty. Then Ill NaNa, now what are you? Negro.. Negro.. Negropino?

Missy: Yeah that’s me.

T. Cas: No matter what you’re name is… you’z a sexy muhfucka, you know that?

Missy: Thanks Tee!!!

Confessional Video

T. Cas: Man, I don’t really know what I was saying to Missy. I think Liquor and TV did something to my drink. I hope I didn’t say anything to offend her. I was gone.

Confessional Video

Liquor and TV: I wanted to see how T. would react to the absinthe before I tried it myself. Yeah, it was dirty, but everything is everything. He looked like he was having a good time, so I’m going to have to try that.

The clock strikes 10 and the doorbell rings. Missy rushes from the couch and T. to answer the door. It’s a limo driver. The camera reveals a stretch Hummer down on the street.

Missy: C’mon guys! Our whip is here.

T. Cas: How did you get over there so quick? You were just right here next to me..

KZ: Shake it off, Cas! It’s time to get up on some broads.

Liquor: You ain’t drunk off of 2 drinks are you T.?

T. Cas: Nah, I’m cool.

T. Cas staggers out the front door followed by the rest of his roommates. They get in the limo and drive off into the night. The street lights are reflecting on the pavement, reminiscent of a Hype Williams video. The roommates are talking to each other and sipping drinks out of cocktail glasses. Nsane pushes a button and the partition comes down. The limo driver looks back at his passengers.

Nsane: Where we going, Joe?

Limo Driver: I can’t tell you. The producers want it to be a surprise.

Missy: Can you give us a little hint?

Limo Driver: Sorry. I’m sworn to secrecy.

The limo driver raises the partition back up and the roommates speculate on where they are going.

Nikki: I bet they taking us to a club.

T. Cas: I hope it’s a strip club. I ain’t been to one of them in a minute.

Missy: Oh, me too!!! I wanna see some ass shaking tonight.

Rob Mack: I’m with that. But they probably won’t do that. It costs too much money to be editing out all that ass.

KZ: Maybe it’s a concert. I might be able to catch some leftover groupie ass.

Liquor: I don’t care as long as the alcohol is flowing.

Nsane: Shit, I don’t know where the fuck we going. I should have brought my knife with me.

The limo comes to an abrupt stop at what looks like an abandoned warehouse. There are no cars in the parking lot and no signs that anyone has been there in quite some time. The roommates get out the limo and stand around dumbfounded.

Limo Driver: This is it. Your destination is right behind those doors.

Nsane: I knew I should have had my shank. Where the fuck are we?

T. Cas: My man… what is this place?

Limo Driver: You just go in and find out. I’ll be back when its time to take you home.

Liquor: Nah, son! You ain’t bouncin’ on us. How about you wait right here?

Nikki: Come on, guys! Let’s check it out.

Missy: Fuck that white girl-horror movie stuff. I ain’t going in there until I know what the deal is.

KZ: Aiight! I’m going in. Mack, you with me?

Rob Mack: Let’s do this!

Confessional Video

Rob Mack: I was scared as hell. I thought they had signed us up for Road Rules instead of Real World. I know I’m getting in shape, but I ain’t trying to be running from bulls or some stuff like that. I’m glad KZ stepped up in the leadership role.

RESUME SCENE

KZ and Rob Mack walk deliberately to the doors of the warehouse. The limo driver pulls off leaving the roommates stranded. Missy and Nsane throw rocks at the rapidly departing limo.

KZ: On three, we are going in… Count it off.

Rob Mack: 1!

The camera focuses on Nikki, Liquor and TV and T. Cas. They have nervous looks on their faces, the result of some creative editing.

Rob Mack: 2!

The camera focuses on Missy and Nsane. They are holding each other’s hands and look scared.

Rob Mack: 3!

KZ opens the door and…

Commercial Break.

The Blog Real World: Introduction

2006-09-10T04:11:00.000-04:00

I plan this to be a week long series, so if you ain’t interested I will see you next week. LOL. None of the bloggers involved have given me permission to use their names and personas, so I hope it’s all right with them. If not, what you gonna do about it? Sue Me? Anyway, this is all in fun and I don’t know exactly where it’s gonna end up, but I hope you guys like it.

EDIT: For those of you who read this on Sunday and want to know what happens next... Click this link for part 2. Otherwise, I'll post it on Monday night after everyone has had a chance to read the first part.

The Blog Real World

This is the true story of 7 bloggers picked to live in a house and have their lives taped and find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. The Real World: Blog Edition

The camera pans across an ocean and lands on Missy. She is sitting on a park bench waiting to meet one of her roommates. She is cleaning her new Jordans and talking on her broken Nextel phone. She takes off her sunglasses and looks into the horizon. A silhouette is moving towards her direction. The camera eventually reveals…It’s Knockout Zed.

Missy: Are you my new roommate?

KZ: It depends, Are you the Ill NaNa?

Missy: Yeah, but I don’t call myself that anymore. Call me Missy. You must be KZ. Nice to meet you.

They hug and KZ helps Missy with her bags. They walk down the boardwalk and hail a large maroon and yellow taxi. The cabbie puts the bags in the trunk and they drive off.

Missy: I hope we are the first ones at the house. I want to pick out the sessiest room for myself.

KZ : I just hope all the girls are hot like you.

Missy blushes and the pair make small talk about their hometowns…

END SCENE

Rob Mack arrives at the airport and the camera follows him as he picks up his luggage from baggage claim. He stands outside the terminal when he sees a limo driver in a black suit holding up a sign that reads “Mr. Mack – Real World” He walks over to the limo and gets in. In the back seat, its Liquor and TV. She is drinking Grey Goose and Cranberry in a clear martini glass. She doesn’t speak as Rob enters the vehicle.

Rob Mack: Hi, I’m Robert from Chicago and you?

Liquor and TV: I’m drunk right now.

Rob Mack: Yeah, but what’s your name?

Liquor: I Like Liquor and TV.

Rob Mack: Interesting name. I don’t drink much myself.

Liquor: That’s cool, son! More for me!

The limo pulls off and the camera shows Liquor and TV pouring herself another drink, while Rob looks out the window.

END SCENE

A busy highway. Cars are speeding and shots of frustrated drivers. The camera cuts to a bright yellow Pathfinder. Inside are T. Cas and Nikki. Both have an exasperated look on their face.

Nikki: You lost again, Cas?

T. Cas: Seriously, Nikki. Don’t fucking talk to me. I told you I am directionally challenged. I can’t believe I had to drive cross country in this gay ass car with you.

Nikki: It ain’t my fault you don’t know where you going. No direction having muhfucka!

T. Cas: Didn’t I ask if you wanted to drive? Maybe if you would have talked less and paid attention to the map, you could have told me which way to go.

Nikki: Whatever, man!

More bickering ensues as they drive around in circles.

END SCENE

The door opens to a palatial estate. Missy and KZ walk in and look around with shocked looks on their faces. They see the various amenities of the Real World Mansion. They stop at the pool table. The balls are clear with different color exotic fish inside. Missy takes off running up a spiral staircase and the camera follows her as she checks out the three bedrooms. The first bedroom has 3 beds. The beds are adorned in navy bedspreads and Missy jumps up and down on each of them. She then checks the second bedroom. There are two canopy style beds with white bedspreads. The third bedroom that Missy enters also has two beds and the bedspreads are red.

KZ explores the downstairs area. The camera follows him as he walks through the living room and sees an orange leather sofa and recliner. The furniture is all post modern and eclectic. He makes his way to the corner of the room and pauses to admire the CD collection which consists of a diverse selection of music. As he pulls out a Little Brother CD, Rob Mack and Liquor and TV enter through the front door. The camera pans to them.

Rob Mack: Anyone Here????

Liquor and TV is putting little bottles of alcohol that she took from the limo in her bag. She has a disinterested glare on her face.

Liquor and TV: Where is the TV?

She is disgruntled until she sees the bar. It’s fully stocked with top shelf liquor and the coup de grace is a bottle of absinthe imported from Europe. It is green and glowing and completely mesmerizes Liquor and TV.

Rob walks around the mansion taking it all in. He runs into KZ and they exchange a manly handshake. Missy comes running down the stairs and greets Rob Mack with hug. She speaks to Liquor and TV, who mumbles something but doesn’t look back at Missy. Missy has a WTF look on her face but is interrupted by Nikki and T. Cas entering the mansion.

T. Cas: ATL bloggers in the house.

Nikki: (Screaming) YOOOOOO!!!! This shit is niiiiiiice.

T. Cas: She been like this for the whole trip. The only time she stopped talking was when she was playing with herself.

Nikki: Umm. Cas? Shut the fuck up!!! What’s up, folk!

Pleasantries are exchanged and all the bloggers take a tour of their new living arrangements. They walk around the crib, taking note of their surroundings. Of special interest to all are the coed bathrooms, the hot tub, and the huge kitchen stocked with every kind of food imaginable.

Rob Mack: Does anyone know who our last roommate is? It’s supposed to be 7 of us right?

Nikki: I don’t really care who it is. I bet they gonna be cool folk whoever it is.

KZ: It better be a woman. There’s too many dudes in here already. No offense, *Africans*.

T. Cas: None taken. I’m with you. How about that sexy Royce’s Daughter or that fine ass Bloopty Blop?

Missy: I think I hear someone at the door now…

The door opens and the final roommate is revealed to be….

Commercial Break

It was written…

TMI

2006-09-07T10:10:00.000-04:00

I asked for it, so I guess I have to answer now. Here is my TMI post. This is gonna be a long one.

I Like Liquor And TV asked:
Cut or Uncut?
I didnt know what you meant by this at first. But from the other comments I concluded that you are asking if I am circumcised. First of all, stop thinking about my johnson and second of all, I am circumcised.

Y'all Hirin?
All the time. My department is so shortstaffed its ridiculous. Come on down, we around the corner from the Popeyes on Windy Hill.

Do They Still Harlem Shake?
I havent been to a club in eons, but I hope not. Looked like they were having convulsions

What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
Breyers Vanilla

Do you tuck your shirts in when you are not working?
Depends on what I am wearing. If I got on jeans, then no. But if I am wearing slacks, then I do.

Do you call a Black professional?
I call myself a corporate thug. I'm just a guy who fell into a job b/c I didn't know what to do with my English degree.

SandyBaby asked:

What are your feelings about God/church/Christianity?
Let's see how I can answer this. I love God, but I dislike the church. I havent found that church that makes me feel fulfilled. I try to live according to His word,for the most part, but I fall short like everyone else. The root of my problem with the church is money and hypocracy. I hate to see preacher ni houses with elevators and pushing Rolls-Royces when their are people who cant pay their light bills or feed their children in the congregation. The rational part of me knows that it's not the preachers responsibility to take care of another grown person, but I feel like if you are going to project a Christ like image, then you should be charitable. I was raised Christian and I have found my way back to it, but I went through a soul searching period where I studied other religions, like Islam, Rastafarianism, Five Percent Nation etc. Those never really stuck with me. I think the appeal of it was more social than religious as they appealed to the radical Black man in me at the time. I could do a whole post just on this topic, so I will move on.

Do you watch Flavor of Love? What's your opinion of that show?
I refuse to watch that minstrel show. See the post called Don't Believe The Hype. I would link it, but I'm lazy and got 50-11 more questions to answer. Its on the right under favorite posts.

Describe your most embarrassing moment
I can't tell you this one... lets say it involved my best friend Gautum's house, some blue footy pajamas, a sink, and loss of bowel control. It is a hilarious story, but too embarrassing to speak on.

Has a gay man ever stepped to you? How did you handle it?
It hasn't happened yet. I honestly don't know how I would handle it. I probably would be like, "I like women" and step. No need for a big scene.

Why did you have to work on Labor Day?
B/c my job can't function without me. Even when I'm not there, they are calling me. I really am getting pimped and I know it. The next step is doing something about it.

Do you like white people?
Damn, Sandy!!! You really going for the gusto today, ain't you. Lets say that I have a love/hate relationship with the lighter race. I try to judge each man on his merits, but it doesnt always work. I think I am distrustful of white people, but I don't hate them. There's always something in the back of my mind that says, "what is this white person up to?" I don't have any white friends (not even that token one), but as long as I'm respected as a man, I will respect them the same. Does that answer the question? I feel like I kinda side stepped that one. LOL

Missy AKA NegroPino asked

When it rains do you use an umbrella?
No, I'll just get wet. I usually leave my umbrella at work or in the car, so it defeats the purpose.

What size is your TV?
I have a 27 inch in the living room and a 19 inch in my bedroom. I need one in my computer room but I would never leave this room if I had one.

Do you have a bedroom set?
Ummm... No. My bedroom is a masterpiece of minimalism, which is a nice way of saying empty.

Do your sheets/pillows/blanket match?
Yes, they do. I have a cream comforter so it matches just about any set of sheets I put on the bed. I just go for the basic sheet sets, nothing fancy or flashy.

Is your portfolio diversified? How much dough u got in your 401k?
I got 5 years of contributions and matching by my employer. Sorry, I just dont think I could tell you how much is in there. That's a little too much (or too little) information. LOL

What kinda wedding have u imagined?
I waver between the big fancy wedding and the going to Vega$ thing. It just depends on who I finally trap to be my wife. Whatever she wants is cool with me. The only requirement I have is no white tuxedos and lots of liquor at the reception.

Watch any girlie shows you will admit to?
Hell yeah! Gilmore Girls is my shit. I dont watch that much TV anymore, but I will be watching that every Tuesday.

Whats your favorite Women's website?
I dont understand the question, but I'll give it a shot. If you are talking about site to see naked women, then I am partial to Tiava.com. They got their porn categorized, so you can always find what you are looking for.

Do you subscribe to King magazine?
I don't. Last magazine I subscribed to was Vibe about 4 years ago. I'll just check it out when I go to the barber shop.

What side of the bed do you sleep on and TV on or off?
If I am alone, I sleep on the right side of the bed with the TV on the History Channel or Court TV, or an old movie from the 30's or 40's. I cant sleep in silence, because my brain goes on overload.
If I am sleeping with someone, I'll let her choose which side she wants and sleep on the other side behind her in a spoon position until I fall asleep. After that, I roll over and can't be touched or I'll wake up.

Miz JJ asked...

Do you believe in one soulmate for every person?
I think there are at least 2 practice soulmates and then 1 real deal. The only thing is you never know which one is the real deal while its happening. It can feel that way, but then its like that was good, but this one is better.

Why do you only eat once a day?
Here we go again... LOL - It's like this. I eat when I get hungry. I dont get hungry until the day is almost over. I know that is not good for my metabolism, and I swear I am not starving myself, I just always have been that way since high school. Also if I eat during the day at work, I get the Itis real bad and I'm no good for the rest of the day.

Nikki asked...
What publications do you read? Where do I get my news information?
Whatever is in the barbershop. I don't read much anymore. I get my news and entertainment from the internet and TV news.

Democrat, Republican, Independant or Other?
I would consider myself a democrat. I do however have no loyalty if I agree with someone else's platform. It just doesn't happen much.

How much a year do you think you'd need to make in order to have everything you want materially speaking?
Whatever I'm making at the time. I don't live above my means, and I am not money driven. I've always been able to make due on what I have.

When you gonna finish that screenplay?
That's a great question... excuse: I been going through some things lately that have superceded my desire to finish it. The real? I really don't know if I have the drive to see it all the way through. That's my struggle.

What's your favorite time of year and why?
Autumn, because the weather is perfect and there's football.

Chele asked
Most men are homophobic because they actually fear that they are gay. Do you have this fear?
First, I have to disagree with your statement. I don't think this is why men are homophobic. Secondly, I don't like that term, homophobic. It makes it seem like men are afraid of gay people. Thirdly, I don't have that fear. I have had lots of crazy thoughts, but sex with a man is not one of them.

We call a defining moment the event in your life that shook you to the core and caused you to change how you view the world. Describe your defining moment.
Great question! Damn! Let's see...I think when my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me when i was totally in love with her. It made me realize that I really didn't have complete control over my life like I thought I did. It also made me look at people's intentions with skepticism. Kinda closed off my heart for a long time.

Royce's Daughter asked...

If everyone was going to disappear tomorrow (except you and one other person...who had to be a female and not a celebrity), who would you choose to live the rest of your life on earth with and why?

This is going to sound crazy and I know it. Hell we both know it. I would choose Trizzy. I have never been so connected with someone in such a short period of time. I hate that leukemia may take her from me before we have a chance to live out our lives together. If I feel like I feel for her in 3 weeks, imagine what we could have in a whole lifetime. I know that effectively destroys any chance i had of being an internet pimp, but i don't care. I love her like I have never loved anyone else in my life on a pure and spiritual level and I refuse to deny that. She is just a beautiful soul and I cherish the time I have with her, however long that may be. It's unexplainable, and it's totally out of character for both of us, but it just feels like it is supposed to be.

The Stiltwalker asked...
Some days you seem desperate, others you "seem" like you don't love them ho's. What's really going on cause I'm speculating the hell out of your story over here...
It's like this. I am a sucker for love. I never been like I don't love them hoes. That just is not in me at all. Maybe it seems that way b/c I am content with being by myself so I don't have a high tolerance for people that get on my nerves. As far as the desperate thing, I don't think I am, but I do fall hard and fall quickly. It's not even a desire to get married or have kids, I just live in the moment and if I feel it, I say it. I hope that answered the question. If not, I'm sure you will let me know.

KZ asked...

Dude, can you describe how mad you were when you found out?
On the real, I wasn't even mad. I was shocked, I was blowed, but I didn't get mad. It may be a strange reaction, but I laughed. I laughed at myself for getting fooled. I laughed at myself for even taking it there. There was always a little voice in my head that said something is wrong. Everything was just so difficult. Honestly, when I read the email I was a little relieved she didn't say she was a man.

Blah, Blah, Blah asked

Can I stay with you when I come to ATL in 2 weeks? and...What's your thread count on those sheets?
Hit me up and we will talk about that offline. Remember I (you) could be a psycho. LOL And as far as the sheets, hell if I know. Whatever the cheap Target sheets are. I know, I need to step my grown man game up, but it's just me here, so I'm good.

Rob Mack asked...

Ok, how's a dude like you still single in Atl? That is straight up hyprocrisy on my part, but I just wanted to know...because I hear that the black women down there are just in abundance.
Here is the stock answer: Women in the ATL don't like me. I'm a regular joe. The flashy dudes and the thugs get all the women around here. I also think that ATL women don't necessarily get me. I'm a strange cat sometimes.
Now, let me give you the other part of the equation cuz if i don't then Trizzy and Nikki are gonna tell you that answer was bullshit. I am too anti social. I don't put myself out there. I cut people off too quickly. I am standoffish at times. I don't let people get to know me. I hate rejection so i don't approach people. I At least that was how it was before the whole blog thing.

Miss Ahmad asked

i wanna know what happened with that other blogger..now you can email it to me or something but damn i'm still confused as all hell!
I said I wasn't gonna talk about this, but here goes the abbreviated version:
I had a blogger comment on my site. I went to visit her site and then we started chatting on IM. She was mad cool, but I got a strange vibe from her. I did my stiff arm thing to push her away, but eventually I came back around. We started talking on the phone. We talked and vibed for hours. She sent me a picture of "herself." Whenever we talked, I had a certain visual image of who I was talking to. Anyway, we talked about meeting, but every time there would be some excuse, which in retrospect makes a lot of sense to me now. Then one morning she sends me an email, entitled "Please Don't Hate Me" in which she confesses that the picture on her profile and the one she sent to me is actually not her, but her friend. Long story short, I was pretty embarrassed that I got suckered in, but everything happens for a reason, right? And she fooled everybody, so I feel better knowing that I wasn't the only one. I was jaded, but only until I got home that evening and talked to Trizzy. I realize that if I didn't go through that drama, I never would have met her and experience what I am experiencing with her.

1969 asked...
what is your favorite post so far? You know, the one where you said, Damn I'm a decent writer!
The first one was The 10 Strip Club Commandments. Nobody was reading back then, but I think I killed with that post. Then it was So You Think You Can Stalk, which for some reason I forgot to put under my favorite posts. And thirdly, The Revolution Will Not Be Televised. I like my satirical posts the best.

What do you see as the biggest problem facing our Country?
Can I give 3? Healthcare for the poor, the drug epidemic, and education.

Are you a risk taker or more conservative?
I'm definitely conservative. For example, I stay in jobs I don't like rather than taking a risk on my passions, which would be writing or a job in the music industry.

You have five thousand dollars fall into your lap...what do you do with it?
At this point I would probably spend a G, and save the rest.

Thee Modern Isis asked...

Are you on your New York shit?
It's like NY been soft, ever since Snoop came in and smashed the buildings. I miss NY rap. They don't have the same swagger that they used to. And when I see that Chicken Noodle Soup video, its like what the fuck happened to NY?

Inside Peanut Butter, outside jelly? Toast on the seats?
I see you heard the song now. LOL. That down south shit is crazy...but I love that they are doing it their way. Check for my new single called "My Twinkies" My Caddy is...Gold on the outside, with a creamy white filling. Rolling on 20's and I got the beats drilling.

If they made you CEO of Defjam.. who would you get rid of, who would you hire or bring back?
Memphis Bleek would be outta there in a second. This dude been trying to make a hit since 95. He be rapping loud and saying nothing. I don't know what Jigga sees in this cat. He has no skills to me. And as far as bringing somebody back? I would love to hear another Jay-Z album.

If you could pay someone in your past a visit.. who would it be and why?
I would want to visit my father just because he died right when we were reconnecting. I'd like to pick his brain about some things.

If you were given the interview of a lifetime.. you got to interview Jesus before Barbara Walters could.. what 5 questions would you ask?
1. What is heaven like?
2. How do you feel about Catholicism?
3. Do you actually hear our prayers?
4. What is the biggest misconception that so called religious people have?
5. Can I get the hookup on the eternal life?

love or prosperity?
without a doubt, love.

Sangindiva asked...

What would you do to get me to sing you a love song...and MEAN it for real? :)
I'm not sure that I would do anything but be myself. I think if I am myself and we connect on a spiritual level, then that would inspire the song. I would want my woman to be in love with me, not the things I do for her. Does that make sense?

Hypothetically Speaking asked

If I were your room mate what would I say your most disgusting habit is?
Okay, I could never have a roommate because I am way too antisocial for that. But if I did, then they would probably have a problem with my kitchen cleaning. I leave dishes in the sink for too long and when I finally get around to them, its pretty nasty.

What would YOU say your most digusting habit is?
I would agree with that one. This one time I went to put the dishes in the dishwasher and there were maggots on my plates. I threw them out and started over.

Have you ever had your fortune told? If you did - has any of it happened yet?
Never had my fortune told. I dont wanna know whats going to happen next... unless I can change the future.

NSane Lee Sane asked...

I wanna know what Miss Ahmad wants to know, you can email me as well...
I reluctantly answered her and KZ about that situation.

Also, how did you become so pro black? What books have you read pertaining to the struggle?
I think it was really a combination of my moms, my rap music and my reading that made me so pro Black. The Autobiography of Malcolm X and "Soul on Ice" really changed my mindstate. I then started reading and studying Black history and became offended at the injustice. Now that I am in my 30's, I have tempered this a little and I look at what we are doing to ourselves rather than what is being done to us.

How many women have you "bagged"?Who was the best?Why?
I'll let DMX answer this one for me....
There was Brenda, LaTisha, Linda, Felicia (okay)/Dawn, LeShaun, Ines, and Alicia (ooh)/Teresa, Monica, Sharron, Nicki (uh-huh)/Lisa, Veronica, Karen, Vicky (damn)/Cookies, well I met her in a ice cream parlor (aight?)/Tonya, Diane, Lori and Carla (okay)/Marina (uhh) Selena (uhh) Katrina (uhh) Sabrina (uhh)/About three Kim's (WHAT?) LaToya, and Tina (WHOO!)/Shelley, Bridget, Cavi, Rasheeda (uh-huh)/Kelly, Nicole, Angel, Juanita (damn!)/Stacy, Tracie, Rohna, and Ronda (WHAT?)/Donna, Ulanda (WHAT?) Tawana, and Wanda (WHAT?)/were all treated fairly but yet and still/bitches is on some other shit now that I'm fuckin wit Dru Hill

I'm just kidding I don't even do it like that. You are talking to Mr. Monogamy. I stay in a long term relationship. I would say 14-17. Is that low for a man?

The best for me...would have to say the girl I used to live with cuz we just vibed that way. Pretty much nothing was off limits and she had multiple orgasms.

Have you ever used any drugs other than weed?
I unintentionally used cocaine. We were smoking with these chicks Armstrong State college in Savannah. They laced the blunt and I was the only one who didnt realize it. My high was much different and when I asked about it, they told me that they dipped the blunt in nyquil. I didnt find out until 2 years later what really happened. I used to want to try ecstacy when Senita and Marcia used to roll at my apartment and start touching each other. But my father's history with drugs always stopped me from further experimenting.

Fallen Angel asked...

1. it's your last day of work, what does the first sentence of your resignation letter say to your boss?
If I'm trying to keep it real it says, I ran this, but I wasn't appreciated so I have found a new job. If I'm trying to keep the relationship open, it will say. Thank you for the opportunity to develop my skills...

2. your secret boo calls you on the cell and tells you that she's taking you away for a week, but you can only bring three things. what do you bring?
A big ass box of condoms
My CD's
Clothes
3. what would you title your autobiography?
It's not very imaginative, but I would call it "It Was Written" and I would format like the Bible. You know with Book, Chapter and Verse.

Tenacious didnt ask a question, but I want to ask her one...

How come you respond to my comments to your blog in my comments? I keep forgetting to ask you that. LOL

Diva (in Demand) asked...

How do you feel about blind dates?
I don't really date that much. I like to get to know somebody before I go out with them. So, a few phone convos are necessary before I go out in public with someone. You never know if the person is crazy until you talk to them.

Would you ever move to another state and if so what is your ideal place to live?
I would move in the future. I have 3 places I would like to move to. 1. VA/DC/MD cuz for some reason the mid atlantic women like me... a whole lot. That may increase my matrimony potential. 2. Chicago. I only been there twice, but I fell in love with that city. 3. New York. I don't wanna live there long term, but I have a idealistic idea of living in the big city.

Can you remember a time when you were most afraid of something?
When I was a teenager, I was afraid of dying. I had an unhealthy obsession with death and I thought I was gonna die young. I used to be shook about it because I didnt know what would happen after.

Phoenix asked...

If you were given a book deal - what would the title of your book be?
The Fourth Dimension...about my current situation. The working title for my book about my father is "Remembrance"

If you knew that the famous person of your dreams were going to die and you had a chance to speak with them before that event - what would you ask them?
I don't really care about famous people, so let me answer this from a different perspective. I would want to maybe interview them and write about it. It's too late now, but I would want to hear all about Ossie Davis and Gordon Parks life experience. They just seemed so dignified and I know their stories would be poignant and revealing and mean something to me.

JennayNay asked...

What 90's sit-com could have been centered around your life?
I envision myself as Seinfeld with a whole cast of crazy characters around me and just reacting to them. I'm a regular guy like him that gets involved in some unbeleivable situations.

If you had a movie made about your life, what ONE album would serve as the sound track?
I like the idea of a high concept album like that but I dont think one exists about me. I would have to do the album myself. If I am forced to answer, I would go with Midnight Maruaders by A Tribe Called Quest. Even though it aint all about me, it kinda reflects my sensibilities and the album is one of my favorites.

What was your most hated job?
I only did it for a week, but I had a job as a door to door salesperson. I hate selling and I didn't like bothering people at home. That job sucked. I went to training and then I quit after the 2nd day on the job.

Mocha asked...
a long time ago about lyrics from a song that best describe me...And I couldn't answer...

So, this is what I want someone to feel about me.

India.Arie "The Truth"
Cause he is the truth/Said he is so real/And I love the way that he makes me feel/And if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly /cause his light it shines so bright /I wouldn't lie I remember the very first day I saw him/I found myself immdiately intrigued by him/Its almost like I knew this man from another life/Like back then maybe I was his husband and maybe he was my wife/And even the things I don't like about him are fine with me /Because its not hard for me to understand him because his so much like me/And its truly my pleasure to share his company/And I know that its GOD's gift to breathe/yeah he breathes

Damn, I answered them all. That was harder than I expected. You guys really stepped up and asked some challenging questions. Thank you for helping me out and I hope you found out more information about me than you would ever want to know.

It was written...

What You Wanna Know About Me?

2006-09-06T09:42:00.000-04:00

Stolen? Yeah, I stole it. Recycled? Sure, you can say that. Too much information? Probably.

Royce's Daughter called it Open Book Thursday, Fallen Angel called it The Full Disclosure Game and I when I did it back in the day I called it Go Ahead! Ask Me Anything. I'm working on an ambitious post that's not ready yet, so I thought I would let you guys help me out in the meantime. I want my readers to ask me anything you want to know. If there's anything left that I haven't volunteered that you want to know about me, ask me in the comments section. I will attempt to answer as honestly as I can later in the week.

So think of some hard questions. Something that will make me uncomfortable. This will either be really revealing or make me quit blogging all together. LOL

It was written...

And I Heard 'Em Say

2006-09-04T11:43:00.000-04:00

Inspiration: Heard 'Em Say - Kanye West "And I heard 'em say, nothing's ever promised tomorrow today/From the Chi, like Tim it's a Hard-a-way/So this is in the name of love like Robert say/Before you ask me to go get a job today/Can I at least get a raise of minimum wage?/And I know that the governments administer AIDS/So I guess we just pray like the minister say/Allah U Akbar and throw him some hot cars/Things we see on the screen that not ours/But these n****z from the hood so these dreams not far/Where I'm from the dope boys is the rock stars/But they can't cop cars with seeing cop cars/I guess they want us all behind bars, I know it"

What I'm Listening To - "4:21 The Day After" - Method Man

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Why I gotta work today? I know it's just 4 hours, but it's a holiday dammit."

Here are some random quotes I heard at Sunday's Labor Day cookout.

"Can you pick up Mario? He's at the crib."

"I told that Ethiopian that you were on the way. Can you wait for him?"

"These niggaz always rapping about crack.... but they are so clever. Its almost like I wanna sell drugs if my skills would get that tight."

"He calls himself Skreals, cuz he's from the skreets and he is real."

"HEY, ROADBLOCK!!!!"

"I know that dude is going to jail, he just looks like he is riding dirty."

"Man it's raining like the world is about to end. Just take me home so I can watch the apocalypse from my own crib."

"Hey, I remember you. What's it been like a year?"

"You are such a gentleman. (followed by derisive laughter)"

"You really don't know Rashan very well. Just because he showed up looking GQ, does not mean he is a gentleman"

"Damn, you right. We have to demand that they start bringing more women to these things. 45 minutes is too long to drive for no ass"

"Pucci, let that young man sit down. He don't need to be eating standing up"

" I drive better when I'm drunk. I live in Buffalo, so I'm used to driving in the snow."

"You want a glass for that Scotch, or you gonna keep drinking out of that water bottle"

"When I grabbed the blade of that knife I coulda chopped my fingers off. Thats when they told me I can't drink J&B no more. Then I switched to White Label."

"I'm small, so my rap name will start with "big". He's Big so his rap name will start with "lil" and you're old as fuck so you can be "young." It's irony, nigga"

"What the fuck is that? Spainglish?

"Don't call that nigga Mexican. He will cut you for that shit. He's Guatemalan"

"Nigga, you don't know her. You downloaded that picture of the internet"

"Who bids blind 7?"

"Ugggghhh, will you get away from me RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

"You got some secret admirers in this house"

"Mama, don't"

"You are a good looking young man. How come you don't have a girlfriend? Are you on the DL?"

"What happpened to that young lady you brought to the birthday dinner. Y'all were cute together."

"I'm about to dance on the table."

"I'm sorry my mama raped you with her eyes."

" K and J are always looking for young men to date. I could set that up for you if you want"

"I'm glad she came back, but I'm happy she got her own apartment. There's only so much of her crazy ass I can take."

"Man, them young bitches be wearing me out. I ain't aint as limber as I used to be. I gotta do stretches and shit before I hit that."

"Y'all gotta a dead body buried out back? What's up with all these damn flies?"

" Why old girl acting all sadi, sadi, saditty? Nigga, you know what I meant!"

"What the hell kind of guard dog is that? All these Black people around and he ain't even barking."

"Why you over there phone boning?"

"Whose camera phone is this? You got some fucked up pictures in here. Where the naked pictures at?"

"I'm just saying Tiger Woods look like the Geico gecko."

"I ain't riding with you. Y'all be drinking and smoking"

"Will you get that beer bottle away from you mother. Last thing she needs is to hit a roadblock with an open container."

"That plate is enough for you and your old lady." followed by "FUCK HER, this my shit"

"If I find out you messing around on my boy, I'm gonna shoot him"

"Nah, man. Its a girl"

"Well, I'll shoot her... unless she sexy"

That's enough randomness for one day. If you want a further explanation of these quotes, hit me up in the comments section. I hope you are all enjoying your Labor Day and don't have to work like me. Have a great one!

It was written...

End of the week MeMe

2006-09-01T09:42:00.000-04:00

Long Ass MeMe to end the week. Have a great long weekend!!

1) Full Name: Rashan Jamal (I ain't giving you my last name, dammit)
2) Name Backwards: lamaJ nahsaR
3) Were you named after anyone? Not to my knowledge
4) Does your name mean anything? Rashan has 2 meanings: Arabic - Tower of Strengh or Hindu "The Light." Jamal in Arabic means handsome
5) Nick Name(s): T. Cas, Terrance Casanova, Ligher Fluid, My old rap name was Lyrical Assassin or Black Man Extraordinaire
6) Screen Name(s): visionz74 on yahoo and msn messenger
7) Date Of Birth: 11/25/1974
8) Place of Birth: Atlanta, Georgia
9) Nationality: Amerikkkan
10) Current Location: Smyrna, Georgia
11) Sign: Sagittarius
12) Religion: Christian
13) Height: 5 ' 9" 3/4
14) Skin Color: ummm... burnt sienna
15) Shoe Size: 12
16) Hair colour: Black
17) Eye colour: Dark Brown
18) What do you look like? Check the flickr, yo!
19) Innie or Outie? Innie
20) Right, Lefty, or Ambidextrous? Natural left hander, but my 3rd grade teacher made me write with my right hand. So I guess, I'm ambidextrous
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other? Straighter than 6 O clock. Yes, Royce that is possible in Atlanta. LOL
22) Best friend(s): How many of us have them?
23) Best friend you trust the most: Myself
24) Best friends {your sex}: Don't really have any male friends since Kareem and Tori.
.25) Best friends of the opposite sex: Tweety, Jessica, Collipark, and I don't know if she knows it, but Mocha
26) Best Bud(s): Don't understand the difference between this and 22
27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend: Technically, none but it feels like I have one (in a good way)
28) Crush: I got one or two.
29) Parent(s): Moms in Savannah, Pops died in the 90's
30) Worst Enemy: Al Qaeda! My co worker that tried to get me fired for some bullshit and now smiles in my face everyday
31) Favourite on-line Guy(s): "That's gay, I ain't in to liking dudes no way" Jay Z (La La La) Excuse Me Miss Remix.
32) Favourite on-line Girl(s): You aint getting me beat up! I like all my female blogger friends
33) Funniest friend: What's with all the friend questions?
34) Craziest friend: Another friend question?
35) Advice Friend: I don't really ask for advice, but the one I recently talked to was Mocha.
36) Loudest Friend: Chi-town be yelling and shit whenever she at my crib like I don't have neighbors
37) Person you cry with: I cried with Trizzy last week, but usually I don't do that.

Do You Have...
38) Any sisters: 1 real, 3 step
39) Any brothers: 1
40) Any pets: I hate animals, but I would get some fish.
41) A Disease: Self diagnosed Social Anxiety Disorder, does that count?
42) A Pager: Not since waaaay back in the day.
43) A Personal phone line: I haven't had a house phone for 5 years, don't want it, dont need it.
44) A Cell phone: Of course
45) A Lava lamp: Nah, but I used to have one in my first bachelor pad/smoke house
46) A Pool or hot tub: Nope.
47) A Car: Of course, I aint taking the bus

Describe Your...
48) Personality: loyal, stubborn, sarcastic, altruistic, understanding
.49) Driving: I drive careful as a result of having my license suspended for a long period of time and learning to avoid the cops.
50) Car or one you want: I'm really not a car person, but if I was rich, I would get a Jag and a 64 Impala
51) Room: Empty, clothes all over the place, need to clean up
52) What’s missing? Missing from what? My life? A child for me to spoil.
53) School: 1997 Graduate of Savannah State University. English Language and Literature degree.
54) Bed: Queen
55) Relationship with your parent(s): Civil, cool when I'm around. Distant when I'm not.

Do you...
56) Believe in yourself: Most of the time. I'm pretty self aware, so I know my strengths and weaknesses
57) Do you believe in love at first sight? I do, it hasn't happened to me, but I think its possible.
58) Consider yourself a good listener: the best, when I'm interested
59) Sleep in PJs: T-shirt and boxers.
60) Get Along with your parents: See number 55
61) Save your e-mail conversations: For a long time
62) Pray: started back recently
63) Believe in reincarnation: I want to, but I don't. It would make the concept of death easier
64) Like to make fun of people: Love it, I can dish it out and take it.
65) Like to talk on the phone: yes
66) Like to eat: I eat when I'm hungry. Miz JJ, no comments about my one meal a day, please
67) Like to drive: I'll often drive around aimlessly just to escape my brain
68) Get motion sickness: No
69) Eat the stems of broccoli: I love broccoli
70) Eat Chicken fingers with a fork: I havent had chicken fingers in a while, since I "liberated" some bags from the hospital when I worked there. But no, I didn't use a fork
71) Dream in colour: yes. See this
72) Type with your fingers on home row: I dont know what this means, but if you are talking about how they taught me in typing class in high school, then yes
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal: Umm, I'm a man. LOL

What Is…
74) Right next to you: phone on the left, water bottle on the right
75) On the walls of your room: A framed picture of NYC pre 9/11 showing the towers.
76) On your mouse pad: Nothing, its plain and blue and liberated from work
77) Your dream car: Again, not a car person, but I really want that 64 Impala
78) Your dream date: It don't take much to please me, so I'm good with whatever as long as theirs stimulating conversation
79) Your dream honeymoon spot: Wherever she wants to go, but I'm kind of partial to Paris
80) Your dream husband/wife: She knows who she is.
81) Your bedtime: usually around 3 am
82) Under your bed: My shoes and whatever mail I open in my bedroom
83) The single most important question: What is the meaning of life?
84) Your bad time of the day: 11:00 Am, when I should be going to work, but find something else to do
85) Your worst fear(s): Death
86) The weather you like: Mid 70's, sunny, with a breeze
87) The time? 10:35
88) The date? September 1st, 2006
89) The best trick you ever played on someone: How about the meanest? I was trying to get rid of this girl, but she wouldn't break up with me, so..... I convinced her that I was secretly married to the ex girlfriend that she hated
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like: What's weird? The weirdest drink: 7 Up and Skrawberry Quik makes a delicious concoction, but everyone looks at me like I'm crazy when I make that.
91) Theme Song: Not sure, but the songs that always hype me up: "Get By" - Talib Kweli and "Glaciers of Ice" Raekwon and Ghostface
92) The hardest thing about growing up: Leaving all my friends in NY when I moved down south. That and not having a bed for 10 years growing up.
93) Your funniest experience: I'm always laughing, so this is impossible to answer
94) Your scariest moment: Getting that shotgun pulled on me at the gas station in Savannah on some mistaken identity shit. I damn near shitted myself
95) The silliest thing you've done: Smoking weed in the Marta Station like it was legal. Glad the cops let us go.
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex? I wrote a love rap song to Nicole F. in 11th grade. And her boyfriend found out and almost beat my ass.
97) The scariest thing that's ever happened while with your friend(s): That would be the shootout at Sam Bowers. Read about it here
98) The best feeling in the world: Feels so good loving somebody, and somebody loves you back
99) The worst feeling in the world: Being betrayed
100) 3 people you tag: Tenacious - she gonna do it anyway. Isis - because she called me out on posting, so now its her turn. Trizzy - cuz I told her she was getting tagged on my next meme

I Gotta Testify

2006-08-31T08:32:00.000-04:00

Inspiration - "Touch The Sky" Kanye West feat Lupe Fiasco "I gotta testify, come up in the spot looking extra fly/For the day I die, I'mma touch the sky/Gotta testify, come up in the spot looking extra fly/For the day I die, I'mma touch the sky"

What I'm Listening To - "The Low-End Theory" - A Tribe Called Quest

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Where the hell did this post come from? I'm either nuts or I'm a fucking genius. I haven't decided yet."

Judge: In the case of the State of Blogdonia vs. Rashan Jamal Casanova, will the defense call its next witness.

Defense Attorney: The defense calls Rashan Jamal to the stand.

Baliff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Me: You damn right!

Judge: That is not appropriate, please say I do or I will.

Me: My bad, your honor. I was just trying to give it a little flavor…nah’mean? I do.

Judge: Please take the stand.

Defense attorney: Rashan, you have been charged with a heinous crime. How do you respond to your accusers?

Me: See, its like this. I try to follow the rules, but there’s something in me that just won’t allow it.

Defense attorney: Please elaborate for the jury.

Me: I try to live a virtuous life. I don’t kill, I don’t steal… anymore. And I don’t lie. But for some reason, trouble just seems to follow me.

Defense attorney: Are you referring to the charges that have been levied against you?

Me: I am. See no matter what I do, I can’t please everybody. There’s always gonna be some haters.

Defense attorney: Define haters? Is that one of those hip hop terms? I’m not quite sure the jury understands.

Me: Yeah, its kinda hip hop I guess. It derives from E 40, who coined the phrase playa hater. The meaning has been kinda bastardized now that grandmas, preachers and white people are using it.

Prosecutor: OBJECTION!!! The defendant is assuming facts not presented in evidence.

Judge: Objection Sustained! Please have Mr. Casanova’s generalizations struck from the record.

Me: My bad again, Your Honor. Let me continue. When I say haters, what I mean is that no matter what I do, some people are not going to be happy.

Defense Attorney: Tell the court what you mean.

Me: When I first started my blog, I wrote just for me. It was easy because nobody was reading it. Then when people found me, I felt the need to entertain.

Defense Attorney: I see, then what happened?

Me: Well, some people thought that I wasn’t dealing with any emotional issues. They said my blog was too superficial. I mean, I just wasn’t comfortable with it.

Defense Attorney: I see, these are the haters you were referring to?

Me: No, I wouldn’t call them haters, they were just trying to make my writing better.

Defense Attorney: So did you start to reveal more of yourself on your blog?

Me: I fought it for awhile, but eventually I did. Do you remember the story of my ex? I never would have written about that when I first started. It was way too personal.

Defense Attorney: That was indeed a breakthrough for you.

Prosecutor: OBJECTION! Opposing counsel is testifying.

Judge: Sustained. Please move on.

Defense Attorney: Mr. Casanova… please continue.

Me: Certainly. I have changed my writing style. I have tried to become a more well rounded blogger. I stopped avoiding male’s blogs, I put some of my writing out there, and most importantly, I started revealing emotions.

Defense Attorney: Tell me about that. How have people reacted?

Me: For the most part, they like it. A few people have misinterpreted my intentions and labeled me soft, but I don’t see it like that. The way I see it, I’m just being me. Sometimes, I’m a jerk, sometimes I’m sweet, and sometimes, I just don’t feel like being bothered. I hope “It Was Written” reflects the whole me.

Defense Attorney: Now on to the charges: You stand accused of being a big softie. Any truth to those charges?

Me: I vehemently deny that. If anything, I’m just a real person and I go through the ups and downs like everyone else.

Defense Attorney: Even you have to admit though, that you have lost some of your edge. What happened to the hateful, spiteful, sarcastic blogger that we used to know?

Me: He’s still here. Did you read my last post? I was sarcastic as hell in that post. The only difference is that is not the only side of me that I reveal now.

Defense Attorney: Thank you, Mr. Casanova.: No further questions. Your witness.

Prosecutor: Mr. Casanova, do you really think that the jury is buying this story that you are just “more well rounded?”

Me: They should. It’s the truth.

Prosecutor: I submit that you are a big softie! You are hardly ever mean anymore!

Defense Attorney: OBJECTION! Argumentative.

Judge: I’ll allow it. Please answer the question.

Me: I can be mean, but I just don’t choose to do it that often. I’ll give you an example. Last month, I gave my middle eastern co worker the nickname of Al-Qaeda. That was mean, wasn’t it? By the way, that wasn't really a question.

Prosecutor: Most people seem to think that you were just trying to be funny. You weren’t really trying to hurt his feelings.

Me: Regardless of that, I can be mean.

Prosecutor: Your writing is showing everybody just how much of a softie you are. I direct the jury’s attention to the morning of August 25th. Do you care to explain what that post was about?

Me: See, what had happened was… That post was for someone special. I was thinking these things and I just had to let them out.

Prosecutor: Don’t you think that post demonstrates just how much of a softie you are? You would have never done that when you first started.

Me: (hesitating) You are right. I can’t deny that seems out of character. But I don’t think that means that I am going soft. I’m just being a real person with real feelings.

Prosecutor: And then your next post. You told everyone your real name. Why would you do that?

Me: It’s like this. I don’t feel the need to hide behind a pseudonym anymore. The only reason I used the name T. Casanova was because I didn’t want people to find my blog. I don’t care about that anymore. I’m proud of it and if people find it, then so be it. I have nothing to hide.

Prosecutor: So you’re saying that has nothing to do with the fact that you are “losing your edge?”

Me: On the contrary, It’s because I am showing the real me. Hate it or love it, this is me. I like me, and if other people don’t then they don’t have to read. It’s been a slow process, but I am finally to the point that I am not worried about people’s reaction to me. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a comment-whore and I still obsess over how many visits I get, but I am not afraid of a negative reaction anymore.

Prosecutor: One final question. What happened with you and that butterfli chick?

Me: (hesitating) I plead the fifth!

Prosecutor: Why can’t you tell the jury about that?

Me: See, you starting to piss me off. Move on, nigga!

Prosecutor: We heard testimony earlier from Mocha and Tenacious, and they both said that you were being too nice about the situation. Please tell the jury what happened.

Me: I don’t want to get into it. What’s done is done. No need to rehash that.

Prosecutor: See, you are too nice. I submit that you, Mr. Casanova, are a big softie. You had the perfect opportunity to be mean, and you didn’t take it. No further questions.

Me: …I’m is mean, dammit!!!

Prosecutor: (yelling) I SAID NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!!

Me: Wait, muhfucka!! I ain't finished!!!

Judge: Mr. Casanova, please step down from the witness stand

Me: (yelling) THIS IS BULLSHIT!!! I’M HARD! I’M FROM THE STREETS! I’M NOT A NICE GUY! I’M AN ASSHOLE! REALLY, I AM!!!

Judge: That’s for the jury to decide now, Mr. Casanova. Bailiff, escort this man out of the courtroom.

Judge: Now that the defendant is out of here, I want to address the jury. The charges are simple. Your duty is to decide whether Rashan Jamal aka T. Casanova is a big softie. The fundamental question is whether, “It Was Written” is getting weak as the prosecution claims or if T. is just showing more of his real personality as the defense claims. You new readers and lurkers should not be hesitant to express your opinions either. I leave it up to you to deliberate in the comments section.

It was written…

Pet Peeves Part 2

2006-08-30T09:43:00.000-04:00

A long time ago, I wrote a piece about pet peeves. Since there were only a few people reading back then, I thought I would do an update of that post. If you see yourself in this list, don't kook out. It doesn't mean that I don't like you. These are just some things that get on my nerves and it's all in fun.

People that play the victim when they are the responsible party - I can't stand when people throw themselves a pity party about some shit that they did. It's one thing to not take responsibility, but it's even worse when they get all woe is me about that shit.

MySpace Spelling - eye fckn h8 dat sht. go 2 skool an lurn how 2 spll.

Internet Rumors - Its crazy to me how people say they heard this or that, but can't ever produce the evidence. I was told today that Kanye West came out of the closet and the story was on MTV News. I knew that wasn't true, but the "prove a nigga wrong" in me had to go to the website, just to show them that was bs. Now I ain't saying Kanye ain't the gay rapper, but the fake internet rumors are my pet peeve.

Sausage Parties - You know what these are right? This is when you are at a spot and there are nothing but men there. Collipark, if you are still reading, I'm gonna need you to invite some women over for Sunday. I don't care where you get them from, but I need some estrogen at the cookout. LOL

Using the bathroom on the phone - Maybe I'm OCD, but I don't like hearing other people's urine. There are some things I just don't have to be a part of. I could be in the middle of a conversation and all of a sudden hear some trickling, followed by the sound of a toilet flushing. I hate that. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it just feels dirty. Not the good kinda dirrrty, but just nasty like I got pulled into a golden shower situation against my will. If you must do it, either tell me to hold on, or hit mute so I never know.

Beggin ass people - This one always gets on my nerves. There ain't nothing worse than someone who always want to hold something. Don't matter what it is: a lighter, some change, some of your lunch, a kidney. I hate people that never have anything of their own. There's this girl at work that has borrowed stuff from just about everybody in the building. Makes me sick...

Little kids rapping - When people see this, they often say "awww", but to me this is the antithesis of cuteness. It grates my nerves seeing kids rap off beat or talking about chains and grills that they know nothing about. And don't get me started about these kids who grow up and decide they wanna be tough guy rappers. Tell your ghost writer to stop that nonsense, cuz we ain't buying it.

R&B cats that wanna rap and Rappers that wanna sing - It hard to recognize R&B cats anymore. They singing love songs about hood life and c-walking in their videos. They just need to cut that stuff out, you ain't hard like that. And rappers trying to sing? Someone explain to me how Nate Dogg has a career? He can't sing, he doesn't rap, but he's on everyone's hooks. Ja Rule, Fifty and Nelly? Why you singing? That ain't your forte.

Women that dont want me to play Madden. - This is not so much an issue since I gave my Playstation 2 to my nephew, but why do women hate on Madden? Its a positive outlet for men. Sure, he may not really be listening to what you say, and yes his homeboys eat up all your food during a Madden tournament, and yes, he loves the game more than he loves you, but at least he ain't out screwing someone else.

Bloggers that email me to ask why I haven't commented in a while - Maybe I'm busy. Maybe I just don't feel your blog. Regardless, its my decision to read and I resent you trying to make me read your shit if I don't want to. I think this bothers me because I can't just be mean and tell them what I really think about them. I feel like this: if I don't like it, then I won't read it. I'm not gonna leave a comment telling you that I think you are a self indulgent, whiny little punk ass liar. I'd rather just leave.

Fox News Channel - I just get a real smug vibe of off everyone on this channel. It ain't even blatantly because of their political views, but I get a sense that they think anyone that disagrees with them is stupid. It doesn't seem like real journalism to me. I understand the editorial content will be slanted towards their own views, but this channel puts in opinions when doing regular news stories.

Spoiled Rich Kids - I blame MTV for this one. That Sweet 16 show and Laguna Beach show these rich kids who don't have to work for anything and expect everything. They all have these elitist, whiny voices that make me wanna do 3 things: 1slap the shit out of them, 2. rob them, 3. Drop them off in the hood somewhere and make them fend for themselves.

"The Black _____" - That phrase The Black ____ gets on my nerves. Let me explain. I hear people all the time saying "The Black Martha Stewart" or "The Black Donald Trump" or "The Black (Insert Celebrity or Pop Culture Icon here). It just rubs me the wrong way that we aspire to be somebody else. How about being "The Original Cleophus Watkins?"

Punk ass baby daddies - Not much needs to be said about this one. A man that won't take care of his kids is less of a man in my eyes. That is the most important job that you can have as a parent. And we wonder why our youth act the way they do. I'm not saying that everyone is gonna be Cliff Huxtable, but can you at least buy some diapers?

People who can't make their own decisions - Its hard enough for me to know what to do for myself without having to tell you what to do. I'm all for getting advice (in theory.) But the final decision is yours. Besides, if I tell you to do something, then it absolves you of your responsibilty as an adult and I'm not gonna do that.

What are your pet peeves? Do you share some of mine? Hit up the comments section and let a brother know.

It was written...

I Am...

2006-08-28T03:39:00.000-04:00

Allow me to reintroduce myself… My name is Rashan. Emphasis on the Ra like in Rakim. For the last 9 months, you have known me as T. Casanova or T. Cas. Today, I am letting you get to know the real me. Since I am one of the biggest Nas fans out there, I am jacking the title of his 3rd album, “I Am” for this post.

I Am...

I Am… one of the nicest cats you could ever meet.
I Am… one of the most sarcastic cats you could ever meet.
I Am… a sucker for love.
I Am… down with you until you cross me.
I Am… arrogant at times
I Am… insecure at times
I Am… addicted to music
I Am… a lover of language.
I Am… a lover not a fighter
I Am… easily intrigued.
I Am… easily bored.
I Am… perpetually searching for answers
I Am… tolerant of other’s viewpoints
I Am… stubborn to a fault
I Am… a homebody
I Am… a workaholic slacker
I Am… non materialistic
I Am… cynical about people’s intentions
I Am… trusting when I’m in a relationship
I Am… cheap when it comes to myself and generous with others.
I Am… a conversationalist
I Am… hard to figure out (but I’m working on it)
I Am… an extroverted introvert
I Am… an aloof flirt
I Am… a walking contradiction
I Am… in love with being in love.
I Am… what I am
I Am… Rashan Jamal

And who the fuck are you???

It was written…

Dating Don'ts

2006-08-24T02:09:00.000-04:00

So, I was doing some of my regular blog reading when I came across a hilarious post The Mistress wrote over at her spot. It was a list of things that men should not do on a date. I immediately started thinking about some of the things I have seen and/or heard about. Ladies, here is a list of things not to do on a date. These have all happened either to me, or to other guys that I know.

1) Don't talk about how ill your nana is, and expect us not to try you.
Ladies now a days like to brag on their stuff just like men do. That's cool, but what you are doing is putting the thought in a man's head. He may not have even been on that level, but the minute you talk about how wet you get or how good you give dome, a man is gonna want to see what you are really about.

2) Don't talk about your baby daddy or daddies
A lot of people have kids, so this is no big deal. The problem comes when ladies talk about how crazy their baby daddy is or tell us that he is still stalking you. This will make a man go running in the opposite direction. Nobody wants to deal with that kind of drama.

3) Don't characterize all men as "triflin'" or "no good"
Some women are extremely jaded when it comes to dating. It is not appropriate to air your grievances on some poor unsuspecting man who is only trying to get to know you. If you have such a poor opinion of men, then why did you even accept the date?

4) Don't ask for money on the first date.
I know the old adage: Men go for women for their looks and women go for the money. Even if that's what attracted you to a man, please don't go overboard in the beginning. It won't work in most instances and even if it does, the man then has a sense of control over you.

5) Don't burp or otherwise display horrible table manners
This has happened to me. I was at dinner with a young lady and she just let one loose at the table. Didn't even say excuse me. I was disgusted; we were actually having a good time until she did that. I ain't saying that you have to be Miss Manners, but I shouldn't have to see what you are eating. Close your mouth when you chew. I don't wanna be gazing lovingly in your eyes and then hear or smell you burp. Not a good look ladies!

6) Don't get pissy drunk at dinner
A first date is not the appropriate time to be taking shots of Patron or trying to win the Alcohol Olympics. You are gonna say something you regret, and the man is gonna be turned off. Special exemption is granted if both of you are getting drunk. But for the most part, you should sip your Cosmo or chocolate martini instead of gulping down Cuervo like your insides are on fire and only liquor can put it out.

7) Don't go dance with another man while on a date
I heard this one from some guy I know. He told me that he and this young lady went out to a club. He went to the bathroom and when he came out, his date was grinding on some dude. After the song, she came back to the table like nothing ever happened. Talk about awkward. Here's a tip ladies: Men don't like to see their date with another man, especially when she's simulating doggystyle on the dance floor.

8) Don't talk about "that trick you want to fight"
Aww Lawd, Shawty!!! Just don't do it. All the rah rah talk ain't attractive. Men don't want to date a fighter unless its Laila Ali. We sure don't wanna hear about how that trick stole your man or smoked your last nickel bag. Calm down and at least act like you got some home training.

9) Don't be overly negative and critical
I don't know if you remember my date with Nia, but this girl was like Debbie Downer. She didn't like anything. Her drink was too strong, her food was too cold, her job sucked, her apartment sucked. I'll tell you what sucked: Her attitude. She sucked all the fun out of the evening with her constant complaining. I know I aint the only one who has had a date like that.

10) Don't ask too many questions about sex.
There are some things you shouldn't talk about on a first date. For instance, don't ask a man when the last time he had sex was. This will confuse the hell out of him. Should he answer honestly and risk being labeled a manwhore? Should he stretch the truth and risk being considered a lame? I know that women are inquisitive by nature, but I'm gonna need you not to ask me about who the best sex of my life was with. You don't know her, so why do you need that information right now? I'll tell you that later after I get to know you a little.

I'm sure you got some don'ts you want to share. Fellas, help me out and add to the list. Ladies, let me know what your don'ts are. Hit me up in the comments section.

It was written...

Three Things

2006-08-23T09:21:00.000-04:00

Today is Wednesday and I can't seem to concentrate on anything so I decided to steal another tag. This one is called Three Things. I'm supposed to list 3 things for each question.

1. Things that scare me
Guns
Dogs
Falling from great heights

2. People who make me laugh
All my blog friends (I know its more than 3, but I couldnt choose)
Dave Chappelle
Wack Rappers

3. Things I hate most
People who exploit or hurt children
People who insult my intelligence
The economic disparity between the rich and the poor in America

4. Things I don't understand
Celebrity gossip shows like Access Hollywood
The popularity of Flavor Flav
Calculus

5. Things I'm doing right now
Chatting on Yahoo Messenger
Responding to work emails from home
Listening to Sade - Lover's Rock

6. Things I want to do before I die
Get married and have kids
Figure out how not to die
Travel around the world

7. Things I can do
Remember stuff that happened 25 years ago
Write
Listen

8. Ways to describe my personality
Sarcastic
Loyal
Easy Going

9. Things I can't do
Be on time
Swim
Stop myself from saying what's on my mind

10. Things I think you should listen to
Little Brother "The Minstrel Show"
Any Prince CD
That voice in your head

11. Things you should never listen to
Negative people
"Laffy Taffy"
Political Commentators (make up your own mind)

12. Things I'd like to learn
How to play an instrument
French (again)
Time Management

13. Favorite Foods
Chicken Breasts
Pasta
Steak

14. Beverages I drink regularly
Water (that's really all I drink for the most part)
Rum
Fruit Juice

15. Shows I watched as a kid
Scooby Doo
Sesame Street
Miami Vice

16. People I'm Tagging
I dont feel like tagging
So if you want to do it, it's yours
Anyone who wants to do it.

It was written...

Check Out The Scenario

2006-08-22T09:30:00.000-04:00

Inspiration – “Scenario” – A Tribe Called Quest "Checkady-choco, the chocolate chicken/The rear cock diesel, buttcheeks they were kickin/Yo, bustin out before the Busta bust a nut the rhyme/the rhythm is in sync (UHH!) the rhymes are on time (TIME!)/Rippin up this dance just like a radio/Observe the vibe and check out the scenario!!"

What I’m Listening To – “Doe or Die” - AZ

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today – “Am I crazy or did you just tell say what I think you said?”

One or more of these scenarios may be true. They may have happened to me or to someone I know. Please tell me what you would have done in the following situations in the comments section.

Scenario # 1

You have a platonic friend of the opposite sex and you start to get a different vibe from that person. You start thinking that this person is looking at you as more than just a friend. This person is attractive, but you are not interested in a romantic or sexual relationship with them. You start to feel uncomfortable even though the words have never been spoken. All of your mutual friends notice the other person’s attraction to you, but you try to maintain a degree of denial. However when being honest with yourself, you know what the deal is? What do you do? Do you keep in denial and keep hanging out with this friend? Or do you confront this person about their feelings knowing fully well that they will never admit it? Or do you just end the friendship before someone gets hurt or says something that can’t be undone?

Scenario # 2

You are chatting with a fellow blogger of the opposite sex. At first it’s just like all your other chat sessions but then you realize that this person is mad cool and you decide to take the conversation offline and talk on the phone. A month or two goes by and you are really feeling this person. You start to talk about meeting up in real life and then you notice the blogger pulling back. You think that the person is just being careful and you are okay with that. After a while, you finalize plans to meet and then the blogger sends you an email confessing that the picture that you have come to associate with them is not really that person; in actuality it belongs to one of their friends. What do you do? Do you cut them off for lying to you or do you continue to associate with that person because the relationship was based on conversational intimacy anyway? If the blogger sends you a picture of what they really look like, do you look at it or do you not even bother to open it? Do you get embarrassed and keep it a secret or do you tell other people about how you were fooled?

Scenario # 3

You are dating somebody, but it’s not anything serious. You are not exclusive and are still dating other people. You meet one of his/her casual friends and realize that you like this person better. You know that the person you are dating would have a problem with you dating their friend, but the friend is feeling you too and you do not have a commitment. Do you go for it, knowing that their friendship would probably be over? Do you decide that the friend is off limits even though they aren’t really that close? Or do you just cut them both off because you know that you would rather be with the friend, but don’t feel like its right?

Scenario # 4

You have a friend who is married or in a serious relationship. You find out through chance that their mate is cheating on them with a mutual friend who often comes over to their house. You want to tell your friend, but you are afraid that they may not believe you. You have tried in the past to broach the subject with them, but they were not receptive to the idea. Do you tell them what you know even though it may hurt your friend? Do you feel that they should know what is going on even if they blame you for ruining their relationship? Or do you just stay out of grown folks business and hope that your friend will see it for themselves?

Scenario # 5

You find out some information about a co worker that could get them fired. This person is someone that you despise, but they have a spouse and children. Do you reveal this information and rejoice that you are finally free of the annoyance? Or do you decide that getting this person fired will affect too many innocent lives? Or do you just lay out the evidence in a way that their boss finds out on his/her own, thus relieving you of the guilt of being responsible for your co workers demise?

I’m interested in what you guys would do in the preceding scenarios. You can pick one or two or all of them and let me know how you would handle them. If you like, tell us what your reasoning or thought process would be. For privacy reasons, I will not be revealing which of these scenarios are real life and which ones I made up, so don’t bother emailing me and asking. Thanks for you participation.

It was written…

My Brother's Wedding

2006-08-20T20:39:00.000-04:00

Friday: I was supposed to meet my brother at about 1:00 to take him around to do whatever errands he still needed to do, but he got someone else to drive him. So I had some extra time to play around and do nothing until the wedding rehearsal. The wedding was out in Fayetteville, which is like 40 or 50 miles away from where I live. I was going to get my haircut Friday morning, but IM's and phone calls had me feeling in a procrastinating mood. Instead, I just rolled out to The Banquet Hall and got there at about 2:30. I was the first one there. I was shocked because I suffer from chronic CP time-itis. Since I was 30 minutes early, I went over to the hotel where my grandmother, mother, and my brother/nephew Nate were staying. My brother came through and we shot the breeze with them for awhile and then we headed back to venue. Again, we were still the only people there until the wedding nazi, er I mean coordinator arrived. There was lots of sitting around and doing nothing, while we waited for the rest of the wedding party to arrive. Moms wanted to get some food for my grandmother, so I volunteered to go for her.

Side Note: My family is extemely indecisive when it comes to getting food. We never know what we want. I personally have been known for driving around the streets of Georgia for hours trying to figure out what to get.

None of us really knew the area, so I threw out some names of places I saw close by. After about 5 minutes, they settled on Quizno's. I asked what they wanted and after another 5 minutes it was decided that I should just call them when I got there. Why did I allow that? When i got there, I called them and asked what they wanted and they started coming with subs that arent even in existence. My grandmother wanted just a turkey sub, which was cool. But my mom wanted some type of veggie sub. But the catch was she only wanted lettuce, carrots and cucumbers. I looked at the menu and I aint see anything like that. Before I could protest, she handed the phone to my niece Dominique who had a similar not on the menu request. Something like a veggie sub with lettuce, mushrooms and brussel sprouts (okay thats an exaggeration, but you get the point.) They then just start passing the phone back and forth to each other and next thing I know I am ordering 6 sandwiches, when I was just supposed to be getting my grandmother something. I was like, "the rehearsal dinner is in 2 hours, can't you wait?" Anyway long story short, I just got whatever was close to what they wanted and told them if they don't want it, then don't eat it. Ahhh, the Casanova family. Gotta love it.

I get back to the rehearsal and by now just about everybody is there. Great, now I look like I was late when I was the first one there. They are doing the walkthrough of the wedding ceremony, and the wedding nazi, er I mean coordinator snaps at me. Something like "glad to see you made it." Woman, I was here before you. I let that slide and go about the business at hand. I find out what I'm supposed to do which basically consists of walking in, standing next to my brother, and then walking the maid of honor out. Cool, no sweat! I can do this. We run through it a few times, but the bride and maid of honor aren't there (still getting their hair did), so I have to do the recessional by myself. The wedding nazi, er I mean coordinator snaps at me again, because apparently I was walking like I thought I was cool or something. I decide to snap back at her and tell her, that I can't very well escort the maid of honor down the aisle if she ain't here and perhaps she should have someone stand in for her if she wants "perfection." She laughed and after that we were cool. I think she was just trying to flex her coordinator muscles on me. Anyway, we got finished and head a minute down the road for the rehearsal dinner.

I drove my nephew Tarik, my niece Dominique and my brother/nephew Nate down to the dinner. We get to the restaurant and I escort them inside and then come back to the car to make a phone call. I noticed one of the bridesmaids just chillin by herself outside. I went over to talk with her, but she either wasn't feeling me (as I thought) or she was just shy (what she said.) Anyway, that earned her the nickname of Shy Girl for the rest of the weekend. Her picture is in the slide show. I sat next to her at the rehearsal dinner and my repeated attempts to engage her in conversation failed. Oh, well. Since my rap wasn't working, I sent some texts and listened to the bridal party talk about their church (apparently I was the only heathen in the wedding) while I waited for the food to arrive. My sister and her man came through with my little nephew Carlin and I immediately said "gimme the boy". I played with and fed Carlin, almost oblivious to everyone else eating their salads. After the dinner, I went home, made some calls, and then crashed.

Saturday:
The next morning, I had to go get a haircut and some batteries for my camera. I woke up about 8, but procrastinated with IM, until around 10. I was supposed to be at the hotel by 12:30 to start getting dressed and get our pictures taken. I spent way too much time at the barber shop, and made it out just in time to take the trek across town again. Trizzy (she's in the slide show too) told me that she knew a way to get me there quicker and I listened to her. Now, anyone who has been reading for awhile knows that I am directionally challenged and prone for messing up the most simple of directions. I should have just went the way I knew and not tried to get fancy but I didnt. I missed my exit, (I still say there was no Tara Boulevard exit) and wound up riding a few miles more. When I finally turned around and got back on track, Trizzy had me going down all kinds of isolated, desolate roads and I didn't get to the hotel until 12:40. Yeah, it's your fault I was late!! LMAO.

When I arrived, I was the only one there again, so I decided to go get my camera batteries. I got back to the hotel and started to get dressed, but my brother needed me to go back to the store which I did. Got dressed, ( a long story in itself. How many people can share one room?), took some pics and then rode to the wedding. I was amazed at how nice the hall was set up. Everything was laid out in the lavender and white and it looked totally different than it did the day before at the rehearsal. I don't really have too many pictures of the set up since I was busy with my best man duties and taking pictures of myself. LOL. The groom was handsome, the bride was beautiful and the best man, that cat was the shit. LOL. Check out the slide show to see how fly I was. LOL

Aiight, so the ceremony started out real short. The pastor jumped into the whole vows thing real quick and I thought it would be a short wedding. Then it turned into church. He prayed for what seemed like 30 minutes, although it may not have been that long. Besides, I was distracted by his blue gators. I couldnt decide if they were tight or country. I finally decided they were country and moved on. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda - you may salute your bride- recessional and it was over. They then set up for the reception and that worked out lovely as well. My brother's church band was playing and they had the Stevie Wonder and Earth Wind and Fire pumping.

This is a freaking long post, so I'm gonna just give some of the highlights and be done with it, as if you are really reading this whole thing. The bride sang a song for the groom and tore the house down. She did her thing. The groom presented the bride with a framed collage of pictures that my mom helped put together. It was tight. My brother and his frats did the Kappa Sweetheart Song. There was a musical "This Is Your Life" thing. Bouquet toss, garter toss, cutting cake; everything was just cool and I had a great time. My mocking was limited to just the Pastor's gators and the flamboyant member of the band who said "oooh, you are sooo beautiful" to the bride and pranced off. Other than that, it went off without a hitch and I'm extremely proud of how my sister in law and brother pulled it off. I didn't even need a drink like I thought I would and only got asked 2 times when I was getting married. Sorry for the lengthy post, but I am actually leaving out a bunch of stuff. Holla at y'all later.

It was written...

Let's Get Married/The Freaks Come Out At Night

2006-08-18T06:28:00.000-04:00

Inspiration - "Let's Get Married" Jagged Edge and "The Freaks Come Out At Night" - Whodini

What I'm Listening To - EPMD "Unfinished Business"

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "This is crazy, right? That's the only explanation."

Let's Get Married

Peace Blogger fam. What's good with ya? I took a vacation day today because I got the rehearsal and dinner for my brother's wedding. The wedding is Saturday and I have put myself at his disposal tomorrow. Whatever he needs, I'm there for him. I think that means I'll be a chauffeur/errand boy tomorrow. Personally, I am ready. I picked up my tux today and I must say I was looking pretty suave, if I say so myself. I'll be sure to take and post pictures if Blogger lets me. All I got left to do is get a haircut and think of something to say in my toast, but I might just freestyle that. I do better when I don't plan stuff out. For those that are wondering, I still haven't given my brother any money, but I probably will give him some cash instead of something off the registry as a wedding gift. They probably can use that more than he can use a crockpot or a waffle iron.

I was checking the itinerary and it should make for a very "interesting" wedding reception. I will have to to try hard not to be sarcastic and mocking. It might be hard if I'm around my sister. We have the same sense of humor and I can just see us cracking wise at my mother crying all day or the gospel singers oversinging ala Beyonce or Mary. Tenacious, if I can clown my own brother's wedding imagine what I would do to you. LOL. Regardless of how much I joke, it will be good to see all my family gathered for the wedding. That's not to say that I won't need a strong drink after the day is over. It's going to be a dry wedding. My brother is a minister and he didn't even let me take him to a booty club for a bachelor party. Maybe I'll stop off at the liquor store and get me some of those little airplane bottles.

The first person who asks me when I am getting married is liable to catch a cuss-out or an open handed slap to the mouth. Like I need you to remind me that my little brother is getting married before me. Unless of course its my grandmother. She can say whatever she wants, whenever she wants. I love that woman to death. I don't even trip when she forwards me religious emails every morning. I hate those, but Grandma got me in the palm of her hand so she got it like that. I need to see if I still have some of those in my deleted emails, so I can truthfully say to her that I read them.

The Freaks Come Out At Night

I went out this morning around 3 AM. I needed to get some stuff from Wal Mart and clean out my car for a change. I should have stayed home. Whodini wasn't lying when they said the freaks come out at night. First off, I was expecting nobody to be on the streets, but I forgot that Vega$ Nights lets out at 3. How do you get caught in traffic that early in the morning? And people were on some drunk driving shit. I almost got bammed up twice in less than a mile. I started to just turn around and go home, but I figured I was already out and I would be ripping and running (stole that from you, Trizzy) all day tomorrow, so I might as well finish my errands. As I was leaving Wal Mart, I got approached by a Mexican panhandler. Dude was begging for change in Spanish. That was the first time I had experienced that. Shit, the only word I understood was "dinero." I gave him a couple of quarters so he would leave me alone and then drove back towards the crib.

I stopped at the Quik Trip to get some gas and get some of the trash out of my ride. I'm pumping my gas, and its now about 4 AM. I see something fly past my face and its a damn locust or something. It was huge, I wish I had my camera so I could show you just how big it was. It was about the size of my hand. Even worse, it decided that it wanted to post up on top of my whip. I tried throwing shit at it, but it wouldn't budge. I used the windshield wiper water to try to move it, but it didn't work. I finally just gave up and got in the car and drove off. I didn't get to vacuum the car out like I planned. When I got home, the locust was still attached to the top of my car; for all I know its still there.

Its now 6:30 AM, and I haven't been to sleep yet, so I'm gonna go catch a couple of hours of shuteye before I start my long day. I may not make it to everyone's blogs until Sunday, depending on how much stuff I gotta do. I hope you all have a great weekend, and I'll holla at y'all Monday. Eh, who am I kidding? I'll probably post something Sunday. My obsession with my blog is ridiculous. One!

It was written...

Movie Quiz (edited)

2006-08-17T02:00:00.000-04:00

I don't really feel like thinking about what to write tonight, so I'm gonna post an idea I stole from Nsane Lee Sane. Let's consider this an unofficial tag, (or straight up plaigarism, which ever you prefer.) A while back she had a bunch of movie quotes on her blog. I thought I would do the same thing, but use some of my favorite movies. That means there will be no Dirty Dancing or Driving Miss Daisy quotes on this quiz. I also am going from memory, so I may get a word wrong here or there. You wanna play along? Put your answers in the comments section.

EDIT: I Didn't really keep score, so I'm just gonna post the answers now.

1. "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"
SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
2. "Do you see a sign that says dead nigger storage? No, because storing dead niggers ain't my business"
PULP FICTION
3. "Don't nobody go in the bathroom for 35,45 minutes."
FRIDAY
4. "You know what you're problem is? You're putting the pussy on a pedestal."
THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN
5. "I DON'T KNOW NO KIONNA!!!"
BELLY
6. "This is Bob. He was a decent man and we're not gonna bury him in the fucking garden! "
FIGHT CLUB
7. "Give me 20 D Energizers."
"20 C Energizers?"
"Not C, D."
"C Energizers? "
"D, motherfucker, D. Learn to speak English first, all right?"
"How many you say?"
"20, motherfucker, 20."
"Motherfuck you."
DO THE RIGHT THING
8. "Fuck Caspar Gomez! And fuck the fuckin' Diaz brothers! Fuck 'em all! I bury those cockroaches! "
SCARFACE
9. "Yeah, well, you suffer from homo-unerectus. That means your wang is hugeified not by women but by a man."
THE LADIES' MAN
10. "I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast."
"You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?"
"No...I..."
HAPPY GILMORE
11. "You acting like a little bitch right now, nigga. Man, fuck that. I ain't letting that shit ride. We gonna go in and smoke all these motherfuckers. I don't care who the fuck out there. Goddamn it, is you down, nigga?"
MENACE II SOCIETY
12. "This here, right now, at this very moment, is all that matters to me. I love you. That's urgent like a motherfucker."
LOVE JONES
13. "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And poof. Just like that, he's gone."
THE USUAL SUSPECTS
14. "No, you listen, you little bitch! You hang up on me again, I'll gut you like a fish, understand? Can you handle that... Blondie?"
SCREAM
15. "I call them hoecakes: hoes gotta eat too!"
HOLLYWOOD SHUFFLE

It was written...

I Remember..

2006-08-15T14:30:00.000-04:00

Have you ever woke up in the morning with someone on your mind? That happened to me this morning. My homeboy, Kareem is weighing heavy on me. I haven't seen or heard from him in over four years. This morning, I had a feeling that I can't really explain. A feeling that something was wrong, that I need to find out what happened to him. Kareem was more than just my homeboy, he was my brother from another mother, a true friend. You probably have noticed that he is in all my stories from the past. We were inseparable since the 7th grade, but unfortunate circumstances made me distance myself from him. I often wonder if I made the right decision. I remember all of what we have been through together, the good, the bad and the ugly.

I remember when we first met in 7th grade chorus. He made fun of my British Knights and stole my pencils from my bookbag.

I remember playing Tecmo Bowl at each others houses. I remember him screaming"Christian Okoye is a beast" when the Nigerian Nightmare was running over people.

I remember his obsession with the Dallas Cowboys, from Hershcel to Emmitt to Michael Irvin.

I remember sitting in the bleachers of the high school football game reciting The Symphony. My favorite was Big Daddy Kane and his favorite was Kool G Rap.

I remember when we both had our first real girlfriends.

I remember when he transferred to another school, but we still stayed in touch and hung out every weekend.

I remember when me, Kareem and Ashley used to go to the Tara Cinemas with some smuggled Pringles and sodas in our pockets. I remember hanging out outside the Wal Mart cuz we didnt have anywhere else to go.

I remember Godfather's pizza and Starcastle Arcade on Friday nights.

I remember football and basketball with the boys.

I remember the Sega Genesis wars: Bill Walsh College Football and the early Madden years and the well placed fart to distract me when I was about to score.

I remember Freaknik and Orange Crush and Player's Ball.

I remember Norfolk State and Savannah State.

I remember double dating. Me and Lisa and him and Sameka. Or me and Lisa and him and Chandra.

I remember that New Years eve 95. That was the best double date we ever had. Cooked for the ladies, popped some champagne, candle light dinner, the whole nine.

I remember that we burned down his mother's crib that night, too. That was the worst wake up call I ever got. "Hey man, come get me. My crib burned down" I thought he was fucking with me until I heard the sirens.

I remember that afternoon watching college football and videos. That was the day Tupac's California Love video came out.

I remember that first time we smoked out together. I copped a nickel bag from Rodney at work and we rolled it up in my VW fox with Tori. It was my first time and I didnt get high.

I remember when Tori got the dru hill hair color and we viewed him as "suspect"

I remember us making up new slang all the time and watching it spread across the city.

I remember that day Kareem copped Raekwon's Cuban Linx joint and was so excited he came to my job to let me hear it. We sat in the car blazing a j and vibing out to "the purple tape"

I remember discovering Nas, Biggie, Outkast, WuTang etc together

I remember the freestyle battles: I remember our format. 1st verse - battle rap. 2nd verse - weed rap. 3rd verse - rap about the girls. We kicked rhymes while Tori would sing the hooks. We used to murder the instrumentals.

I remember the E&J, the cisco, md 20/20, the Barton's Gin, Alize, all the cheap ass drinks... and then later the higher end stuff like the Henny, the Grand Marnier, etc.

I remember being crushed that night I saw him and Tori sniffing that powder for the first time. That was heartbreaking to me given my father's history with drugs.

I remember that night Kareem did an inadvertant cock block when Andria came over. Nigga wouldnt leave for shit. I cursed that muhfucka out for that one.

I remember when he got my friend LB pregnant. I remember their tempestous relationship. I remember his beautiful daughter Destiny.

I remember that trip to ATL during Hurricane Floyd. Kareem and my girl smoking dro while I was driving listening to Eightball and MJG. Then us balling out at the Gentlemans Club and the Shark Bar like we were rich or something.

I remember when them feds came at us... andwhen we thought our phones were tapped.

I remember that first time he got locked up and my broke ass bailed him out.

I remember the second time he got locked up and I couldnt afford the bail.

I remember that discussion about what the cocaine was doing to him outside of Turtle Creek apartments

I remember the domestic violence conversation outside of his girl's crib.

I remember when his baby mama's crib got broke into and I just knew it was him.

I remember when Kareem and Tori hid out from the cops at my crib.

I remember when Kareem and Tori got arrested around the corner from my crib for some dumb drug induced shit.

I remember when he stayed at my crib cuz he had no place else to go.

I remember when he smelled like a crackhead on my living room couch.

I remember when I had to put him out b/c I was living with my girl.

I remember when I had to make the decision to distance myself from him. The addiction was just too much for me to bear.

I remember when I heard he was actually in prison for a year. I remember seeing him when he got out. He was clean and reenergized.

I remember the last time I talked to him on the phone. He was going to visit a girl in Connecticut. He was going to call me back in 3 days when he got back.

I remember he never did, and he never answered his phone, and then it was disconnected.

I remember calling his mom and her telling me that he was locked up again.

I remember checking the department of corrections website to see when he got out. A 3 year bid.

I remember writing a letter to him while he was locked up, but never sending it.

I remember it all...

I need to find him.

It was written...

An Amateur Analysis

2006-08-14T00:49:00.000-04:00

There was a marathon of Alfred Hitchcock movies on Encore this weekend. A number of his films deal with the subject of psychology. One in particular that I watched was “Spellbound”, which dealt with psychoanalysis. As I sat up all night thinking, I couldn’t help but start analyzing myself. Here are some of my amateur findings.

Why am I so anti social?

This really confounds me because once I know someone I can talk to them for hours about any subject. I just can’t seem to initiate conversation with people. I thought about the root of this condition and I think it started at age 12. That’s when I moved from Spring Valley, New York to Savannah, Georgia. It was a total culture shock for me at the time. It’s not like today, when people are familiar with the other parts of the country via music and videos; I had no clue what the South was like and I didn’t fit in at all. Accordingly, I began to retreat into myself and become more of an observer than an actual participant in social settings. This was around the same time I was entering puberty, an important time in a child’s social development. I hypothesize that this was the root of my anti social behavior.

Why do I push people away?

It is way too easy for me to cut people out of my life. I mean, you may not even know that’s what I’m doing, but next thing you know, you haven’t heard from me in 6 months. Why is that? Why do I push people away? Since this, is supposed to be self analysis, I won’t talk about what other people do to make me push them away, but I will say that I am repulsed by neediness. I think this is because I have always been so independent and seek like minded individuals to be in my circle. If I sense my freedom being infringed on, I take steps to regain it. I know often times this is all in my mind and people are not trying to take my life over, but subconsciously, I react accordingly.

Why do I always fall for women who are already involved with someone?

I think I have a subconscious fear of commitment. Perhaps, that’s why I choose to be involved with women with boyfriends. It’s like I know that nothing serious can come from it, so there is no chance of me getting too deep. But that’s where my conscious and subconscious minds butt heads because I do get deep, sometimes too deep. My conscious mind wants the traditional man and wife thing, but subconsciously, I seem to do things to ensure that doesn’t happen. Or maybe it’s just a coincidence. Maybe these women have something special about them individually that I find irresistible. I’ll have to do some more thinking on this one.

Why am I so stubborn?

I think this goes back to me being anti social to an extent. I always had a good relationship with myself since I wasn’t trying to fit in a group with anybody. I have a strong sense of who I am and I celebrate my individuality. I like what I like and I don’t care who knows it. I try not to pander to popular beliefs. I think I am the coolest muhfucka alive, even if nobody else thinks it. So from there, I kinda developed a whole “I am always right” persona. I know logically that I am not always right, but it takes an act of Congress to prove to me otherwise. You gotta really come with it to get me to change my mind. That’s not to say that I am dogmatic. I understand where people are coming from and I often will agree to disagree. I respect everyone’s right to have opposing viewpoints, but I generally won’t change my mind. I have been doing a better job over the last year (coinciding with my blogging) of actually admitting to myself when I am wrong. The next step is admitting that to others.

What’s the deal with my procrastination?

I am always late. I can always find something to do to stop me from doing the thing I am supposed to be doing. This isn’t just work. I’m like this in most areas of my life. If I am supposed to be somewhere at 9, I won’t leave the crib until 9:10. I really don’t know why. This was the one area that I could not come with an amateur diagnosis for. I was searching the internet for possible reasons, but they didn’t seem to apply to me. Its not depression; I am always content. It’s not low sense of self worth; have you read my blog and seen how arrogant I am? I don’t have ADD, or a learning disorder and I don’t consider myself lazy. I just could not come up with a reason for my extreme procrastination. I’ll have to continue to analyze my behavior and hope I can come up with something to change this.

I probably could analyze myself on a myriad of other topics, but this post is getting too long. Now that I have identified some of my issues, the next step is to do something about them. To me that is the hard part. It’s all well and good to admit that, but how do I change some of these behaviors? Do I even want to or am I comfortable with who I am? My problem with psychology is that you can always figure out what the problem is, but I don’t know if you can undo who you essentially are. That’s why people stay in therapy for their whole lives. Anyway, thanks for reading this self indulgent post.

It was written…

Shut Up Already, Damn!

2006-08-11T23:35:00.000-04:00

Inspiration - "Housequake" Prince "Shut up already, damn!/Tell me who in this house know about the quake? (we do)/I mean really, really/If you know how 2 rock say 'yeah' (yeah)/If u know how 2 party say 'oh yeah' (oh yeah)/But if u ain't hip 2 the rare house quake:/Shut up already, damn!"

What I'm Listening To - My Yahoo radio station. I don't really know how they are picking my songs, but they are doing a pretty good job. Except, how in the hell did Nelly get on there? I hate that cat.

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Do you have a job?" There's a group of men that just sit outside all day in my apartment complex watching people. They were there when I went to work, and in the same spot when I came home. I wanna tell them to take there asses in the house.

I'm starting to think I have one of those faces that says "please talk to me." I really don't understand it because I go out of my way to avoid people in most situations. And when I am around people, I revert to my tough guy glare I perfected in 9th grade to intimidate people and get them to leave me alone. But as I get older, I don't think its working anymore. I seem to be the go to person for unsolicited and/or inappropriate conversation. Let me give you a few examples.

This happened a couple of months ago. I was taking a break at work, standing outside on the back patio. These 2 women were having an intense conversation, I didnt know what they were talking about (nor did I care), but they were being very animated. They then decided to include me in their conversation, and I immediately regretted not pretending I was on my phone like I sometimes do when people are around I don't wanna talk to. I soon found out what they were so excited about: These women were talking about going to a swingers party and wanted me to know every little detail about what happened. I said, "I don't think I should be a part of this conversation" and tried to leave. But one of them was like, "hold on, I wanna tell you about how the hotel room was laid out." I'm not going to gross you all out with all the details I heard, but lets just say that unattractive people are some freaky muhfuckas. LOL. Now every time I see old girl in the hallway at work, I start walking really fast so she doesn't try to tell me anything else. That was just TMI.

Last Saturday, I was hanging out in Piedmont Park at the Atlanta Falcons fan fest joint. I was standing in line waiting to get tickets for the autograph signing The man behind me was one of those middle aged-vp of marketing-golf playing-drive a land rover-live in an exclusive community-voted for both Bush's and waiting for Jed to run-type guys. You know the kind of white man who's idea of casual wear is some cotton dockers and a izod shirt? Some one I have absolutely nothing in common. You get the picture? This is the type of man I used to scare with my Blackness. In my 20's if he saw me coming, he would damn near run out of his sebagos trying to get out of my way. But not anymore. Even though the sun was blinding me and I know I was looking mean as hell, he took it upon himself to strike up a conversation with me. Told me about his kids, his car, his season tickets, his wife and his mistress. The worst part about it was I couldn't just leave. I wasn't leaving that line after standing there for 45 minutes, so I just had to stand there and take it, lamenting the fact that I don't scare white people anymore.

And then today, I was at the Subway around the corner from my crib, trying to get a tuna sub and a couple of them oatmeal cookies (see, I do eat.) I'm minding my own business, waiting for the kid to finish up with the customer in front of me, when a guy comes in with some bootleg DVD's. At first, I just ignored him getting his hustle on, but soon he came up to me trying to sell me some movies. I declined, since I have my own source of bootleg videos for the free. Then he decided to ask me if I wanted to buy some porn, specifically that Superhead video. I like porn as much as the next guy and quite possibly have a collection of Booty Talk flicks saved on my hard drive, but I'm just trying to get a sammich. Don't be bringing up porn to me like we are friends. I guess I just I look like a perv or something. Then the Subway guy chimes in with his own review of the Superhead's doming abilities. He takes off his gloves and buys a couple of porn dvd's right there at Subway. I'm standing there with the what the fuck look on my face. How you gonna buy porn in front of customers? Then they tried to drag me into a conversation about what kind of flicks they watch. I'm giving my Ice Cube scowl, but it aint working, they still were talking to me. Thankfully, the dvd guy's phone rang and he left, but that was not a conversation I was trying to have with some strangers. Rule of thumb: Don't talk about porn when you are preparing food, even if you are wearing gloves. I got the little Latina girl to fix my sandwich, cuz I wasnt sure what kind of special sauce the Subway guy had on his hands.

See, that's the kinda stuff that happens to me. Everybody thinks they can talk about everything with me. I would think me mean mugging and avoiding eye contact would be a sign that I don't want you to talk to me. Perhaps I need to just let my inner asshole out and tell them to shut the hell up. Is it just me or do you guys get the TMI convos too? Whats the craziest piece of unsolicited information you have recieved? How can I stop people from talking to me? Hit me up in the comments.

It was written...