Tuesday, January 31, 2006

A Man's Dilemna

TODAY'S HIP HOP QUOTABLE: Little Brother "Slow it Down"

[Phonte]
Sometimes I think I'm from another world (preach)
When I'm trynna tell a woman just exactly where I stand at (aight)
I want a girl, when I want a girl
And when I don't want a girl, I want a girl who understands that
And that's some hard shit to explain
To a woman that's in love with you, it's a pitiful thing
Until I had to figure
That I don't wanna play around, but I don't wanna settle down
And that's a man's dilemna,
cause every man remembers
How his daddy and his uncles did it
'Cause more than likely that's the way they're gonna do it
I know it sound fucked up and most wont admit it
But yo, I gotta face it 'cause I know I'm living through it'
Cause when the party stops and niggaz get old
And the chain and the cars and the houses get sold, and that
Other side of the bed gets cold, you don't wanna be alone
So girl I'm trynna hold you..

A little change in format today. I don't have any questions or music I'm listening to. I'll get back to the regular thing tomorrow. I did some serious thinking on the issue of relationships today. Most of the time, I am completely happy being single. I like the fact that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want. And you know that a brother likes his solitude. But for a little while today, I found myself actually envious of those people who find a way to have successful relationships. My little brother told me today that he is getting married. After my initial congratulatory reaction, it hit me. Brother J is five years younger than me and already at the place in his life where he is ready to start a life with the woman he loves. So, what's wrong with me? By this point I was supposed to be married with a beautiful child or 2. But life doesn't always work out the way you plan. I have to remember that all my relationships ended for a reason. As much as our time together meant to me, it obviously wasn't something that could have been sustained over a lifetime. And to me, that's the goal of marraige. I want one wife til death do us part. It's not that I don't beleive in divorce, it's that I just don't want that for me. I thought about that verse above and realized that I could have written that as a snapshot of where my life is right now. When the right woman comes along I'll recognize that the stars have aligned, and the time is right. But until then, I'll just have keep doing me, and making myself the best person I can be. Forgive my introspection, I just had to process this in the best way I know how: by writing.

It was written...

12 Comments:

Blogger nikki said...

it seems like everybody is thinking about relationships these days. i think you've got the right attitude about it, though. all you can do is you. the rest will fall into place. in the meanwhile, you've still got the strip clubs and a roll of one dolla bills. LOL

Tue Jan 31, 07:43:00 AM  
Blogger That Girl Tam said...

Well, first off I wanna thank you for stopping by to check me out.

Second, the myth of marriage is that "ball and chain" attitude. No relationship (marriage included) is a success overnight. I'm not sure how much you read on my page, but my husband and I have been together for 10 years...engaged in 1 month, moved in together 5 months later...and a year from then, married. We also separated after our 2nd wedding anniversary, I moved out and got my own place...and during one of those " baby-come-home" sessions, I wound up pregnant with my little Ryan. I came home, stuck it out for 2 more years...we separated yet a second time just before Ryan turned 2 and I immediately filed for divorce. the divorce was ugly and seemed to take FOREVER!! But 3 months after it was final, we sat down and had a talk...4 months later I was pregnant (again), 2 months after that we got re-married.

It all sounds liks drama, but what relationship doesn't have some? It's all a matter of viewing the person you're with as the person you can't live without. My husband and I were 23 when we met...25 by the time we got married...and here we are 10 years later - stronger than we've EVER been...carrying a love deeper than either of us could've ever imagined of dreamed of.

Your time will come...and you'll know it when its happening...best of luck to you!! And YAY for your brother!!

Tue Jan 31, 12:54:00 PM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

Tam: sounds like you have had a full and enriching love experience. I don't mind the struggle as long as I get the payoff.

Nikki: I'm gonna keep doing me, ma All I can do now is work on my issues. I think we had a conversation about what those are the other day. But I'm trying...

Tue Jan 31, 06:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you can do it "T" you are wonderful person who has been through some things and you have let the effects from things build a shell around you, all you have to do is slowly chip away at your shell and soon it will be gone and you will have your freedom!!!!!!

Wed Feb 01, 08:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"CONFESSION" Please for Black History Month do one thing for me..........get rid of those DAMN LUGZ!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE YA!!! T-T-H ask me when you get in.

Wed Feb 01, 08:59:00 AM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

anonymous: LOL... shall we talk about the lime green pumps or the ski boots in 75 degree weather. i'm just saying if you wanna have a joning war, I'm down. But seriously, I sent you an email explaining Lugz

Wed Feb 01, 02:00:00 PM  
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