I Was Dreaming When I Wrote This...

...Forgive me if I go astray.

I just had a dream that made me cry in my sleep. I’m going to try to type as much as I can remember but I’m sure I’m going to forget stuff. It maynot make any sense but here we go.

I was going to Six Flags with a couple of fellow bloggers. One of whom I was really feeling. It was supposed to be the 3 of us, but when I met up with them, they had brought boyfriends with them. They were straight lovey dovey and everything. Holding hands. Arms around shoulders and shit. I was a true 5th wheel. I expressed my concerns to the Blogger I was feeling and she reassured me that I had nothing to worry about, it was just an old friend. So the 4 of them were riding in a golf cart from ride to ride and I was following along by running. I know, I don’t fucking run, but I was in the dream. I even followed them on the Smurf ride, which was a water ride. They rode in the car down the water ride and I followed on foot, walking down a huge water plume and sliding down without the car. Anyway, I finally got frustrated and decided to leave, then the Blogger I was feeling tells me she needs my help. We lauch into a flashback and we are sitting in her hotel room. Flashback ensues: She hit her fake boyfriend over the head with a candle stick and he died. We roll up his body in a rug and throw him in the trunk of the car, I don’t know whose car but it was in a car trunk and the body was extremely light, like carrying a little dog or something. We drive from fake ATL to fake Arizona and are being chased by a[puppet in a cop uniform and he is relentless like the terminator 2 cop. The car turned into a convertible and I start throwing fruit at him so he will get off of our trail and stop chasing us,. At one point he falls down a cliff and we stop the car to celebrate by making sweet love. Just as I am about to climax, the cop puppet drags his lifeless body up the Cliffside and says freeze stay where you are . I pelt him with rocks and bricks but eventually I run out of shit to throw at him and he arrests us. She gets 10 years for manslaughter and I am let out of jail without a charge and sent back to home

When I get home, I am in a relationship with my ex girlfriend. We are married with a child. Only she looks like she did when I met her in 1999 instead of how she looks now. I also look different in that I am skinny, I mean like Keith Sweat skinny. We hug and we kiss and we talk about our child. It’s a beautiful baby boy and all is perfect with the world. I hear a ripping sound and all of a sudden things ain’t perfect anymore. The tear reveals that I have been seeing things that weren’t really true. For instance I ain’t Keith sweat skinny and my ex doesn’t look like she did in 1999 or even now. She is horribly disfigured. Like a burn victim. But that flash only lasts a few seconds and its back to the fantasy life. I tell the ex what I saw and she starts looking nervous. I get the feeling that she knows the fantasy life isn’t real. I press her for awhile and then shit is revealed. I am normal me, 2006 version, she is an Emmett Till look alike and we don’t have any kids. We live in a rundown shack, and it’s dirty and roaches all over the place. I don’t like this reality so I say “how could I be so fooled?” She tells me “You see what you want to seee instead of the truth.” I respond “how do I know it’s the truth, this can be another construct of my imagination,” She says “look into your heart.”

I look into my heart literally, I mean it was like a scene on House or CSI when the camera zooms into the part of the body that’s fucked up and I find out another reality. This time we look normal but carry heavy emotional scars. I’m an alcoholic who neglects my family; she’s a cheating harlot with no regard for me as a person. We have a shambles of a marriage and our son is nowhere to be found. I’m appalled by this reality and I try to rip it down, and get back to the happy life. My life is then revealed to be a movie directed by David Heffernan, for the Holiday Inn Hotel Chain. The tag line is if you want to keep your children off of drugs have them watch this movie. So even though I know it’s a move, I still am living the script. I want to see my son, I want to do better. I ask the ex where he is and she takes me to a dark room and says he’s not ready yet. I am eager so I look around the room looking for him, but I can’t find him. Next thing I know I am outside the house and there are 2 holes cut into the wall. Hold up back up, I had even saw those holes in the earlier versions of my reality, but didn’t really think anything of them. So this time I stick my hands into the hole and there’s latex tubing going all the way through to some rubber gloves like in Outbreak. I reach around for a minute then something grabs my arm. I look through the hole and hear a voice say daddy. I look in the windows that all of a sudden appeared and its an eight year old version of me, complete with curly afro I used to rock back in the eighties. The ex comes out and explains to me that my son, or me, or however it was in the room is a bubble boy and can’t experience the outside world and will never know his fathers touch. I busted out in tears in my dream and woke the fuck up.

That was some sick shit and I wrote it right after I woke up. I haven’t even opened my eyes yet. It's now 3:30 Am, and I dont want to go back to sleep. I wonder if this will make any sense in the morning. What the hell does this dream mean? Any amateur analysis for me?

EDIT: 9:15 AM - I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER POSTING THIS. I'VE STARTED WRITING DOWN MY STRANGE DREAMS FOR MY DREAM JOURNAL BLOG I WAS GOING TO START, BUT I DIDN'T INTEND TO POST THIS. OH, WELL.