Monday, June 19, 2006

Tennessee

Inspiration - "Tennessee" Arrested Development - I know you're supposed to be my steering wheel/Not just my spare tire (home)/But lord I ask you (home)/To be my guiding force and truth (home)/For some strange reason it had to be (home)/He guided me to Tennessee (home)

What I'm Listening To - "Aint Nobody Worrying" - Anthony Hamilton

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Can the police use their radar guns at night?" I wondered this as I was driving 95 mph trying to get home.

This weekend I went to Tennessee to see my friend Tweety. She is 8 months pregnant and I missed her baby shower last month because of the whole pink eye fiasco. I'm trying to be godfather to her daughter. I got her this crib/bed from her baby registry at Bab.ies R Us. Now, it wouldn't be a T blog story if something didn't go wrong, so here it is:

I left work Friday to pick up the crib. Shipping was like an extra 100 bucks so I decided to just buy it at the store and drive it up there. I gets to the store, plop down my $392.74 and expect to get a normal sized box to put in the trunk. It had to be assembled so I didn't expect to get a box the size of the space shuttle. Needless to say, it wouldnt fit in my trunk or backseat. I didn't know what I was gonna do, so I left the crib at the store and searched for someone with an SUV to pick it up for me. After a couple of calls, my homey Collipark came through with her SUV. I still didnt know how I was going to get it to TN, but at least I could take it home. We rolled back to the store and the box wouldn't fit in her truck either. Finally, I ask the stock guy, if I can just take it out of the box and put it in the car. This mumbling negro says, "I was gonna suggest that the first time." Well, why didn't you? Anyway, we put all the pieces in the SUV and drove back to my crib.

I started putting the pieces in my trunk, when I realized that the sideboard still wont fit in my car. We tried manuevering it in the back seat and the front seat, before finally getting in diagonally between the passenger side front seat and the driver side back seat. The only problem was the large piece was sitting on top of my my gear shift, and I couldn't get the car in drive. I just gave up and decided to figure it out on Saturday.

Now, I've told you that I'm the worlds biggest procrastinator right? Well Saturday comes and while I should be on the road, I'm sitting around the crib watching World Cup Soccer. (Shout out to Ghana for beating the Czech Republic) I finally get my shit together and leave at around 2:30. The ride takes about 3 hours normally. I basically wasted the whole day away doing nothing, plus I still have to figure out how I'm going to drive with this monstrosity in the car. I nigga-rigged it so I could lift the crib up and put the car in gear and got on the highway. There was a lot of traffic but it was moving smoothly. Just as I put the cruise control on to relax, I see nothing but brake lights. Apparently, the Georgia D.O.T. thought it was a good idea to shut down 2 lanes of I 75 at the same time to widen the highway. Traffic came to a standstill and I already was later than I wanted to be. The 3 hour drive came out to be 4 1/2 hours.

Now, Tweety doesn't live in a major metropolitain city. If she lived in Nashville, I could just take 75 to 24. She lives in the middle of nowhere, in Hanganiggaville, TN. I've taken the drive many times, but it never ceases to amaze me how remote it is. There is a section of the highway that cuts through the mountains and blocks all cell phone service. I think that they should change the state motto to "Tennessee - Come dump your dead bodies here!" There is no one around for a good stretch of the road and it would serve as a perfect environment for concealing a murder. (Not that I thought of that - LOL.) This highway is also the perfect setting for a horror movie. My overactive imagination kept me thinking about that movie "Jee.pers Cree.pers" where they were driving down a deserted stretch of road and were attacked by a whatever the fuck it was. But I made it without incident and watched 4 episodes of SVU with Tweety for the rest of the day.

Sunday, we went to IHOP for breakfast and were the only Black people in the restaurant. There weren't even any brothers working in the back. There was one Mexican, but the rest were all White. Later we drove an hour up the road to Nashville, to do some more shopping at Bab.ies R US, Target and Walmart. I was relieved to see some color there. I kept joking with Tweety that she better not go into labor while I was there. She would be on her own. I mean I would call an ambulance, but don't expect me to be calm about it. So, when she started having pains while I was driving, I was extra nervous. Everything was cool though. To top it off, there was a torrential downpour on the way back to Hanganiggaville. I could barely see the highway, but I did notice Noah pass us in his ark. When we got back, I loaded up my stuff and made the trip back to Atlanta. It was so much easier coming home than going there. There was no construction and I was doing 90 -95 most of the way. That was my weekend, what about your? Did you do anything exciting? Anything boring? Anything at all?

It was written...

20 Comments:

Anonymous Diva (in Demand) said...

First of all I'm listening to that exact same song (Anthony Hamilton) RIGHT NOW! I guess great minds do think alike.

My second point is I want you to realize that the extra money for shipping ain't really for shipping....it's for the convenience of not having to take the pieces out of the box and drive with one on the gear shift for 4 hours. LOL

But it sounds like a great gift. Good job!

Mon Jun 19, 08:27:00 AM  
Blogger Tenacious said...

I just gave you a shout out on my blog *lol*

That was really sweet of you to buy a crib. Hell I bought my godson clothes, diapers and a baby bath. I was like, "well am I the father?" when she asked for a stroller *lol* Ok so I bought a stroller later....

*dead* at "Hanganiggaville"...For a sec I thought that was the real name *lolol* She live in one of those "Sundown" towns huh? I bet you was sweating like Kunte @ IHOP.. lol

LOL @ " I could barely see the highway, but I did notice Noah pass us in his ark"

^^^You are so silly!

Glad you had a fun weekend!

Mon Jun 19, 10:43:00 AM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

When i have my seed, u gonna be god father too so he can get a $400 crib......and when u was in TN at Babie.s R Us why u just didnt buy it then?

How can she live out there? ANywhere i move it gotta at least 2o colored folk there or I won't last long at all.....i get nervous around all them white folk

Mon Jun 19, 11:34:00 AM  
Blogger Mocha_Grl said...

Im with diva...it's all about convenience. Sounds like you had a pretty good weekend! Though you have a lot more patience than me, I hate highway driving.

Spent the weekend watching the soccer...the Ghana game was amazing! You hooked on the Cup too?

Mon Jun 19, 12:01:00 PM  
Blogger So...Wise...Sista said...

Damn, you prolly put out a hunned bucks on gas (and "nigga riggin" labor) out to TN. But you're a sweetie pie God Daddy. :)

Mon Jun 19, 12:21:00 PM  
Blogger nikki said...

glad you made it safely. nigga riggin usually ends up with a nigga getting arrested. lol

Mon Jun 19, 12:30:00 PM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

exactly...I'm glad you made it out alive..

"Disappear from here and end up in a tree,
Crossed the wrong boundary...." - Freestyle Fellowship

Mon Jun 19, 01:14:00 PM  
Blogger fallen angel said...

that was sweet of you to get that big ass baby bed in the first place! all the bells and whistles we do for babies when in actuality, their littl easses could sleep in the top drawer of the dresser!!!! LOL :O

Mon Jun 19, 01:43:00 PM  
Blogger chele said...

Hanganiggaville. You crazy, boy!

I spent the weekend in Chattanooga once ... is that the same thing? There was no color there either.

I'm glad you got to see Tweety ... you're such a good friend.

Mon Jun 19, 01:44:00 PM  
Blogger Honey-Libra said...

I need to go on a road trip...not to "Leave your dead bodies here"ville though hahah.

That's so nice that you went to see her also glad that she didn't go into labor that would have been a whole nother blog huh lol

Mon Jun 19, 04:02:00 PM  
Blogger blkbutterfly said...

is it just me or does GDOT seem to shut down lanes at the most inopportune times? then again, is there ever a good time to do road work in ATL? :)
Tweety's lucky to have a good friend like you...

Mon Jun 19, 05:32:00 PM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

@ diva in demand - I know, if I hadn't procrastinated so long, I would have gladly paid the shipping. But you live and you learn, right. At least I hope I do.

@ tenacious - I'm exaggerating a little, but I didnt know that in 2006 places existed that didnt have Black people. Spoiled I guess. Oh yeah, don't be calling me out for not posting, thats my job.]

@ negropino - well the store is an hour away and I didnt know if we would be going there. I'm glad I didnt wait, cuz that would have been even worse with 2 people in the car.

@ mocha- the cup got me, is it wrong that I'm rooting for all the African and Carribean teams to beat the European teams? I don't mind driving on the highway, it's those backwoods roads that make me nervous. I coulda broke down out there and never been heard from again.

@ so...wise - I got pretty good gas mileage, I only had to fill up once, but I also wanted to see Tweety before she dropped that load.

@ nikki- I was shook whenever I saw the cops, I kept thinking they were gonna pull me over for driving like that. Jail didnt cross my mind, but I damn sure was thinking about the ticket.

@ liquor and tv- nice lyrical reference. Yeah, I made it out safe and sound. I mean really all they did was look, they didn't mess with me or anything. I think I got double crazy looks, b/c I was Black and I was wearing a yankees hat.

@ fallen angel - Thanks! I can't front, when I have kids I'm getting all the unnecessary stuff too. This crib actually converts into a bed, so when the child gets older, she can still use it.

@ chele - nah, Chattanooga is damn near a chocolate city compared to where she lives. It's like an hour past Chat, down some windy and mountainous road.

@ honey libra- man, I don't know what I would do if she went into labor, I'd like to think I would be cool, but I really wasnt prepared for that.

@ blk butterfly - I guess it would have been even worse if they were doing the construction during rush hour, but it was still ridiculous. Two lanes at the same time?

Mon Jun 19, 07:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Joaniev969 said...

You are great to give a crib, and one that turns into a bed no less.

I must say I had a flashback...I was in highschool in Texas maybe 1980 or 81. I had just seen..."Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and had to drive on this dark state road after dropping off my friend. Yes, I can't tell you how many times my imagination had something run across the road. LOL I too made it home without incident...but it was scary.

Mon Jun 19, 08:12:00 PM  
Blogger Paula D. said...

Hanganiggaville, TN....hilarious!!!

Tue Jun 20, 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger Mocha_Grl said...

@t.cas: Nope it sure isn't wrong, I'll be watching the Trinidad game at work today. I'll hit you up on IM later to celebrate :D

Tue Jun 20, 10:24:00 AM  
Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

Oh god I got drunk and ate like 15 pieces of BBQ chicken all weekend.

This reminds me of when we played Clemson and myself, two coaches, the trainer and the SID stopped at Cracker Barrel to eat. They were all white men so people were looking like "why are they with that colored gal".

Tue Jun 20, 11:29:00 AM  
Blogger JoJo D. said...

Glad you didn't get the flashing reds and blues on your mad dash to and fro. I hope you make "Godfather".

Tue Jun 20, 02:46:00 PM  
Anonymous The Goddess said...

I am cracking up at hanganiggaville. That is TOO funny. There's some places like that in GA that I've seen not too far from where we live. We were out driving around this weekend and some of the people were looking at us like they would give an arm and a leg to have a rope on them right then and there. Needless to say, we will NOT be driving out that way anymore.

Sounds like you're going to be a great God Daddy.

Tue Jun 20, 09:14:00 PM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

@ Joaniev969 - ain't that some scary stuff. My imagination runs away with me on those road trips.

@ paula d - happy birthday, I forgot to go back to your spot and tell you.

@ mocha - trinidad gonna take the cup in 4 more years. LOL

@ stiltwalker - the looks are priceless, if they aint grabbing their purses tightly, they are just staring like you are on exhibit at the zoo

@ insanity - yeah, me too. I still get shook by the cops, even though Im legal

@ the goddess - remind me to stay away from those parts of GA. I'm fine in the ATL. At least we got diversity here.

Tue Jun 20, 11:20:00 PM  
Blogger blue butterfli said...

Hey you!

Well. Let's see. I've been by your spot more than a couple of times and I always leave laughing after reading one of your stories. (The "Women I would Stalk" thing was extremely cute!)

I was feeling carefree and decided to leave a message today! :)

Peace.

Wed Jun 21, 09:11:00 AM  

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