Thursday, July 13, 2006

Am I That Difficult?

This is not the post I intended to write today, but I'm waiting for my editor to get back with me before I post that other one. So, instead I'm going to talk about me. Apparently, I am a difficult person to get to know. I didn't think that was the case, but when you hear that two times in a week, there may be some validity to it. I thought about what makes me so difficult and this is what I came up with.

1. Sarcasm - I am extremely sarcastic to the point of being an asshole sometimes. I don't mean anything by it, I just like to make jokes. All in the name of fun is how I see it. But some people are "sensitive" and can't take it. I'm never just out and out mean, so I don't really see what the problem is.

2. My two personalities - Jamal and T. sometimes fight for control. Whereas T. is outgoing and friendly, Jamal wants to be left alone sometimes. Whereas Jamal is a nice guy, T. is the one who takes things too far. T is abrasive, Jamal is vulnerable. I think everybody has this problem, but they call it moods. I just so happened to have named my moods.

3. Don't Ask, Don't Tell - I have a strict policy against volunteering information. I figure that if you want to know then you should ask. If you don't, why should I tell you every little thing about me. I hate when people tell all their business unsolicited. Now, I realize that I may take it to the extreme by not telling anything, but thats just my personal preference. Its not because I'm guarded or jaded as I have been recently accused of.

4. Stubborness - To say that I'm stubborn is an understatement. I am always right, even when I'm left. It takes a helluva lot to change my mind about something. I mean, seriously, unless you come hard, don't even bother trying. I don't judge anyone for having a different opinion, but that doesn't mean that I am going to subscribe to it. I'm nobody's sheep. Nas and Tony Montana told me The World Is Mine. I don't just give you your way. Besides, women always tell me that they don't want a man they can run over. Is that a lie?

5. Eagerness turns me off - If someone is what me and my homeboys used to call "thirsty," I think I react in the opposite manner. I'm trying to find a way out of the situation. That doesn't mean that I want someone to act aloof, but preserve a little bit of the chase for me. I know it seems like a game, but my fight or flight instincts are what they are. If you come on too strong, I'm subconsciously asking myself why is she like that? What are her intentions? Will she be my next stalker?

I analyzed myself and I realize now that I can be difficult. Will I change this behavior? Probably not! Remember I'm always right and for me to change up would be admitting that I'm not. And I don't think I am that hard of a person to get to know. You may not figure me out in the first conversation, but I'm pretty much an open book. Besides, I think I'm worth the challenge. If you actually get to know me, I think you'll like the real me.

It was written...


Blogger So...Wise...Sista said...

" Don't Ask, Don't Tell - I have a strict policy against volunteering information. I figure that if you want to know then you should ask. If you don't, why should I tell you every little thing about me." too!

You don't sound difficult...just standoffish. ;)
Sarcasm is sexy!

Thu Jul 13, 11:29:00 AM  
Blogger Blah Blah Blah said...

That's a long list of admitting you are difficult to get to know...and deciding it's the other person responsibility to not only knock on the door, open the door, bogart their way in, make you talk to them, and fall in love with you. Then again, they'd be cut off because then they'd be to "thirsty"...

All this a woman has to figure out on her own and decide if she is going to roll up her sleeves and start the hard work of seeing IF you are worth it. Yet, she should know your worth the challenge...after all, YOU know it...*smh*

Whereas, it would be so much easier, nicer, human to open the door when they knock...ask them in and strike up a conversation. A little give and take without all the hidden nuances that make up this man who names his moods.
Then again, this works for you and you are happy with your state of affairs...after all, your always right...or was that stubborn?

Sarcasm: intellect on the offense.
You do not have to prove your clever with heavy sarcasm.

my buck 69

Thu Jul 13, 11:54:00 AM  
Blogger chele said...

Did you say "editor"?

1. Sarcasm to the point of being an asshole is a killer. My man is like that and it drives me crazy. I ignore that little flaw.

2. We're all moody.

3. I'm the same way. If I want to know I'll ask. And I expect you to do the same thing.

4. No you are NOT always right. Sorry. Learn to bend sometimes. No, we don't want a man that we can run over but we don't want a man that we have to fight with all the time either.

5. Eager. Needy. Same thing. Can't stand it! I tell guys to never put me in a position to say "back the hell up!"

Self analysis is healthy. But don't sweat it. Either folks will accept you or they won't.

Thu Jul 13, 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger Mocha_Grl said...

I can't say a damn thing about the sarcasm, cuz i'm the same way.

And I can't stand someone who's too eager. I get suspicious too.

You think you're worth the challenge huh? Now here's the you take the effort of tryna get to know women who are challenging, or do you prefer the open book?

i.e can you dish it out and take it?

Thu Jul 13, 12:04:00 PM  
Blogger The L said...

i am the same way about a lot of stuff, especially the sarcasm. i just feel like i have gotten along for 28 years with this working for so if you can't take the time to try to get to know me or understand me then why should i try so damned hard to change. hmmm maybe that goes back to the stubborn thing!

Thu Jul 13, 12:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, so tell us what's really on your mind, T?


I feel you on the sarcasm. Although I shouldn't use it so much, I love doing it.

Hmm...maybe I'll do a similar post...I think I might steal this idea.

Thu Jul 13, 12:25:00 PM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

I like whomever writes this blog!!!That dude is alright with me

Thu Jul 13, 12:47:00 PM  
Blogger Tenacious said...

T....Stay the hell out of my head :-)

I was *well still am* going to do a post tonight about this

We're so much alike it's scary

Thu Jul 13, 01:33:00 PM  
Blogger P said...

T-Cas for President!

On the real, all of us have different sides. . .


I did do a group exercise once and I got the same answer from everyone (that I was unapproachable).

I knew this. I just didn't want to admit it and thought that if I did, I was caving in to "The Man".

But it was true. Still, true, to a certain degree. And I know this. Not because of what people say, but because I know.

Usually our personalities are developed as a result of things that did (or didn't) happen in our lives. That doesn't make it good or bad. I don't operate in those types of realms.

You just keep doing what you do BEST, and what needs to be adjusted - you will recognize it.

Good Post. . .

Thu Jul 13, 02:19:00 PM  
Blogger Honey-Libra said...

I have been told that my sarcasticness makes one believe that I'm bougie...ah well if you can't take it be gone!! LOL

I'm stubborn as well although I feel like you don't have to agree with me just understand that there could be other ways of lookin at things....acknowledge that and we'll get along great.

What are some good things about you T? I see we know all the bad LOL..sike i'm jokin

Thu Jul 13, 02:26:00 PM  
Blogger Solomon said...

"thirsty" I like that term. Eagerness is definitely a big red flag with big red flashing lights saying stay away.

Thu Jul 13, 02:39:00 PM  
Blogger Miz JJ said...

I think a lot of black people are like that. We have a healthy dose of skepticism that keeps expanding as we age. Like Dave Chappelle said it's that skepticism (or paranoia) that has kept us safe. You use to protect yourself, but does that come at a price? Interesting post.

Thu Jul 13, 02:44:00 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

I am T.Cas...
All the traits you mentioned, I have them as well, there's nothing wrong with us...

And thats a lie, women don't want a man they can run over...

Thu Jul 13, 02:52:00 PM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

Difficult? You wasn't difficult LAST NIGHT! Ookaaay?!!? *snap*

I can't stand sarcastic people

Thu Jul 13, 03:46:00 PM  
Blogger Royce's Daughter said...

Don't change SHYT for nobody! People say I am insensitive...fuk ummm! If you can't take what I got to say, don't fukkin talk to me. Oh and I think the best was number 5..."Eagerness turns me off - If someone is what me and my homeboys used to call "thirsty," I think I react in the opposite manner. I'm trying to find a way out of the situation. That doesn't mean that I want someone to act aloof, but preserve a little bit of the chase for me. I know it seems like a game, but my fight or flight instincts are what they are. If you come on too strong, I'm subconsciously asking myself why is she like that? What are her intentions? Will she be my next stalker?" I swear I'm about to copy and paste into an email to a friend of mine, change the she's to he's and be like *ehem*

I can't stand no clingy, needy, sensitive azz africans I swear I can't...

another good one!

Thu Jul 13, 03:49:00 PM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

@ so...wise - I've heard standoffish too, that could be true

@ blah blah blah - I feel you, but sarcasm is fun. The woman doesnt have to do all the work, I gotta do my part too. And I'm very upfront about my personality.

@ chele - Oh, I just meant Nikki. I'm working on a post with her and she is the editor. You right, I am what i am.

@ mocha - you are a sarcastic so and so. The same way I acted with you and JJ, is the way I acted with these people. I ain't that difficult, am I? To answer your question, there has to be a challenge for me, or I will get bored. I can take it.

@ The L - well I got 31 years of built up sarcasm and stubbornness

@ cocoa - its all yours. I look forward to reading it

@ ill nana - thanks a lot, I dig you like a shovel, baby. LOL

@ Tenacious - I havent had a chance to comment yet, but a French stalker??? LOL that was too funny.

@ P - you always got the dope comments. Thanks

@ honey - you know what, I'm gonna do a post about my good qualities one day. But if I do, I dont wanna hear nobody saying Im conceited (I got a reason)

@ solomon - you can use thirsty. We retired that a few years back and replaced it with "trying to recruit me for her cult"

@miz jj - I am very skeptical most times. Although there are times where I'm naive as hell.

@ nsane - Yeah, I was analyzing myself, but not changing for anyone... yet

@ liquor and tv - ladies and gentleman, the worlds funniest commenter - LQ and TV... And what I tell you about telling our business like that.

@ royce's daughter - don't get me started on clingy and needy. That's a dealbreaker.

Thu Jul 13, 04:30:00 PM  
Blogger Mr.Slish said...

I know dudes like you T Cas, For some reason they always want to strangle

My boy Corporate has this kind of personality. I torture him daily. Call him at work for allll kinds of dumb useless shit. ..Pisses him off. lol...

Thu Jul 13, 04:53:00 PM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

sorry toots. *smacks this dude on the behind*

Thu Jul 13, 05:39:00 PM  
Blogger fallen angel said...

how you gonna be sarcastic, but have two personalities??? hahahahah
eagerness turns you off, huh? i'll keep that in mind when i check my stat counter and see that you've been to my site three times in fifteen minutes every morning!?!?! LMBAO!!!! :)

Thu Jul 13, 06:08:00 PM  
Blogger The said...

Damn man! Can I borrow this for my effin' profile? Sounds like you're describing me!

Anyway, bruh, I see your tracks everywhere and decided to come check you out.

I'll pop in sometime. Glad I stopped by.

Thu Jul 13, 06:24:00 PM  
Blogger "N" Search of Ecstasy said...

Okay…so you are stubborn, sarcastic, and you have a split personality? Hmmmm…well I can’t talk. I have 3 personalities: Nicoletta, Nicki, and Nic ;-)

Thu Jul 13, 07:24:00 PM  
Blogger BBB_0202020 said...

I feel u and kudos for analyzing yourself..I know i'm difficult to get to know and my issue is when I meet someone who is just as difficult...sigh

Thu Jul 13, 09:39:00 PM  
Blogger nikki said...

you ARE too sarcastic for your own damn good...

Thu Jul 13, 10:29:00 PM  
Blogger ShellyP said...

I used to be much more sarcastic than I am now. I don't what happened to make it change. Kids maybe? Come to think of it, they just might be the reason.

You're right about women not wanting 'yes' men. They want men that can hold their own. On the flip side, they have to be willing to hear other views and concede if proven wrong.

To me, being too eager shows a lack of control. I don't like it. I don't find it endearing in the least being fawned after or put up on a pedestal too early. :)

Thu Jul 13, 10:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also struggle with the stubbornness too. I am very very stubborn. I am trying to work on it. I am glad to see I am the only one not struggling with being stubborn

Fri Jul 14, 02:10:00 AM  
Blogger Knockout Zed said...

I'm on that #3 and #5 tip heavily. I'm ultra private and I hate a damn overeager assed person.

I wouldn't call any of these traits particularly fucked up, you just are who you are. Let 'em get used to it!


Fri Jul 14, 02:33:00 AM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

@ mr slish - that would bother the hell outta me. LOL

@ lq and tv - I'm telling PB LOL

@ fallen angel - LOL - not exactly what I meant, but I feel you. I'll try to go to your spot just once a day. LMAO

@ G - I think a lot of us are like this... this can be your eharmony profile

@ N Search - yeah, I am... Whats the difference between the 3

@ Tigerkiss - you posting again. Cool. thanks for the kudos, but I don't know that analyzing myself will do any good

@ nikki - I am to sarcastic for YOUR own damn good. LOL and how you gonna talk Mrs Sardonicus

@ ShellyP - aaahh kids. that might work although I can see myself smirking at ernie and bert while watching sesame street.

@ eps - you aint the only one, homey

@ KZ - thats what I'm saying. I am what I am - Popeye - 1932

Fri Jul 14, 10:43:00 AM  
Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

I think we're twins.

Fri Jul 14, 11:12:00 AM  
Blogger 911 said...

Ok so if by chance I post some sarcastic ass reply I shouldn't or it shouldn't get deleted bwaahhahahaha......I don't have a fc*king clue why the sudden affliction with that bwahaha sh*t really no clue.

Sun Jul 16, 04:13:00 AM  
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