I Am Not My Hair

Inspiration - India.Arie feat Akon "I Am Not My Hair"

What I'm Listening To: 9th Wonder and Buckshot - "Chemistry"

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - What was that Nickelodeon show that had that song "Picture Pages?" I'm about to hit up YouTube to find it after I finish this post.

I just came back from the barber shop (when I first started writing this) and as everyone can relate to, its hard to find a good barber/stylist. There's always some crazy, unprofessional shit going on. For example, one of the barbers was drinking a 40 oz. First of all, I didn't even know they still made 40's. And second of all, why would I get my haircut by someone who has been drinking. I've had enough bad haircuts from sober cats, I'm not gonna press my luck by letting a drunk cut my hair. Anyway, as I was sitting there trying to block out the inane conversation about how Lil Wayne is the greatest rapper alive followed by T.I. (I swear I need to get out of the south), I retreated into my mind and thought about some of my hair experiences. EDIT: I AM NOT DISSING THE SOUTH. THE CARTER WAS A GOOD ALBUM, BUT LIL WAYNE IS NOT THE NEXT COMING OF RAKIM. AND I GOT ALL OF T.I.'S ALBUMS, BUT THIS BROTHER AIN'T EVEN IN THE TOP 20 WITH HIS LYRICS. LUDACRIS GOT MORE ORIGINAL LYRICS THAN BOTH OF THEM. I have run the gamut of Black hairstyles in my 31 years. Allow me to share, and illustrate with pictures when possible. I already know the pictures are blurry. It's a by product of not having a scanner and trying to take bootleg pictures of old photos. Let's not have any complaining about the quality in the comments section. LOL!!!

I was 3 years old in this picture. My mother thought it would be a good idea to slick my hair back and put me in a sailor's outfit like I was auditioning to be the newest member of The Village People. I used to hate this picture for many years until I realized, I was an extremely cute child. Now, I have it displayed in my living room.

Next up was the "kind of afro." I say kind of because I had a fro, but it was more of a bunch of curls designed to look like an afro. If you think that's bad, at least I wasn't as bad as my father. He had to wear curlers at night to get his hair to look like an Afro.

The Michael Jackson look was next. I don't have any pictures that really illustrate how it looks, but this one is close enough. Now, I never had a jheri curl or activator. Instead I used to carry around a spray bottle with water and wet my shit up so it would have that glistening look.

After the greasy look played out, I was kind of in between styles. So I rocked a natural. In between a low cut and an afro, my middle school hair was unique. This is when I started to hear that stupid "good hair" phrase all the time. Nikki would call it "loosely curled." In this photo, I am rocking the Tony Dorsett jersey. He was my favorite football player at the time.

High school came and I switched up to the box or flat top. I was a level headed brother as Liquor and TV would say. It was a slow transition as evidenced by this picture. You can see that I went through various stages of boxdom. I don't have a picture of it, but I even had the step haircut. You know where half my hair was up high, and the other was cut low. I loved that shit.... on other people. My hair curled up and after a day or two, it wound up looking like a Bobby Brown Gumby cut. Anybody remember Three Times Dope? They had the half fro. I had that one too for a minute.

In college, my flat top game was serious. I had a standing appointment with my man Dwayne every week to keep my box tight. I got the diagonal part going in this pics. You couldn't tell me I wasn't dope. I got my initials in the back of my head once or twice, but the Nike and Benz symbols were too flashy for me. Plus, soon everybody was starting to grow dreads and get braids.

My hair wouldnt lock, or more accurately, I didnt have the patience to let it lock so I got it cut down low and rocked a Caeser for awhile. There are no pictures in existence of this, but I even got a baldy ONE TIME. Let's just say I was listening to too much Onyx and got carried away. Never again! My head is not shaped right for the baldy, and my scalp was about 6.3 shades lighter than the rest of me. Luckily, my hair grew back in quickly, but I was wearing a hat for most of that week. Luckily there is no photographic evidence of that stupid decision.

NO PICTURE AVAILABLE!!!

After college, I decided that I would give braids another chance. I let my hair grow out real long, (let me stop lying, I was just too broke to get a haircut) and had my homegirl Boo braid my shit up. She was always doing somebody's hair, so I figured if anyone could do it, she could. Boo told me that it wouldn't work, but I wanted to try anyway. My cornrows lasted all of 3 hours before they started coming undone.

Sidenote: Boo Trotter, please google yourself and find my page. Shaina told me she saw you, but she didn't have your number. If you or anyone you know are reading this, hit me up at visionz74@yahoo.com, visionz74@hotmail.com or visionz74@gmail.com.


Since then, I've basically just kept a regular haircut, alternating between a low Ceasar and a curly natural. The ladies seem to like it better when my hair is grown out like in the above picture, but I (and my corporate personality) prefer it low. Its just easier to get up in the morning without having to comb my hair. Plus when it gets too long, my hair gets part curly, part straight. I don't know if you can see it, but this is what it looked like before my haircut. And yes I was drinking!!!

And this is after.

I know not much of a difference, but its just evened out and cut down lower. I think he did a pretty good job, but there was no reason for me to be sitting in the chair for 50 minutes while he tried to get every little stray hair. I need to find a steady barber who can cut my hair right and in a timely manner. There's my chronicle of hairstyles. Go ahead and get your laugh on in the comments section.


It was written...