And I Heard 'Em Say
Inspiration: Heard 'Em Say - Kanye West "And I heard 'em say, nothing's ever promised tomorrow today/From the Chi, like Tim it's a Hard-a-way/So this is in the name of love like Robert say/Before you ask me to go get a job today/Can I at least get a raise of minimum wage?/And I know that the governments administer AIDS/So I guess we just pray like the minister say/Allah U Akbar and throw him some hot cars/Things we see on the screen that not ours/But these n****z from the hood so these dreams not far/Where I'm from the dope boys is the rock stars/But they can't cop cars with seeing cop cars/I guess they want us all behind bars, I know it"
What I'm Listening To - "4:21 The Day After" - Method Man
Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Why I gotta work today? I know it's just 4 hours, but it's a holiday dammit."
Here are some random quotes I heard at Sunday's Labor Day cookout.
"Can you pick up Mario? He's at the crib."
"I told that Ethiopian that you were on the way. Can you wait for him?"
"These niggaz always rapping about crack.... but they are so clever. Its almost like I wanna sell drugs if my skills would get that tight."
"He calls himself Skreals, cuz he's from the skreets and he is real."
"HEY, ROADBLOCK!!!!"
"I know that dude is going to jail, he just looks like he is riding dirty."
"Man it's raining like the world is about to end. Just take me home so I can watch the apocalypse from my own crib."
"Hey, I remember you. What's it been like a year?"
"You are such a gentleman. (followed by derisive laughter)"
"You really don't know Rashan very well. Just because he showed up looking GQ, does not mean he is a gentleman"
"Damn, you right. We have to demand that they start bringing more women to these things. 45 minutes is too long to drive for no ass"
"Pucci, let that young man sit down. He don't need to be eating standing up"
" I drive better when I'm drunk. I live in Buffalo, so I'm used to driving in the snow."
"You want a glass for that Scotch, or you gonna keep drinking out of that water bottle"
"When I grabbed the blade of that knife I coulda chopped my fingers off. Thats when they told me I can't drink J&B no more. Then I switched to White Label."
"I'm small, so my rap name will start with "big". He's Big so his rap name will start with "lil" and you're old as fuck so you can be "young." It's irony, nigga"
"What the fuck is that? Spainglish?
"Don't call that nigga Mexican. He will cut you for that shit. He's Guatemalan"
"Nigga, you don't know her. You downloaded that picture of the internet"
"Who bids blind 7?"
"Ugggghhh, will you get away from me RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"
"You got some secret admirers in this house"
"Mama, don't"
"You are a good looking young man. How come you don't have a girlfriend? Are you on the DL?"
"What happpened to that young lady you brought to the birthday dinner. Y'all were cute together."
"I'm about to dance on the table."
"I'm sorry my mama raped you with her eyes."
" K and J are always looking for young men to date. I could set that up for you if you want"
"I'm glad she came back, but I'm happy she got her own apartment. There's only so much of her crazy ass I can take."
"Man, them young bitches be wearing me out. I ain't aint as limber as I used to be. I gotta do stretches and shit before I hit that."
"Y'all gotta a dead body buried out back? What's up with all these damn flies?"
" Why old girl acting all sadi, sadi, saditty? Nigga, you know what I meant!"
"What the hell kind of guard dog is that? All these Black people around and he ain't even barking."
"Why you over there phone boning?"
"Whose camera phone is this? You got some fucked up pictures in here. Where the naked pictures at?"
"I'm just saying Tiger Woods look like the Geico gecko."
"I ain't riding with you. Y'all be drinking and smoking"
"Will you get that beer bottle away from you mother. Last thing she needs is to hit a roadblock with an open container."
"That plate is enough for you and your old lady." followed by "FUCK HER, this my shit"
"If I find out you messing around on my boy, I'm gonna shoot him"
"Nah, man. Its a girl"
"Well, I'll shoot her... unless she sexy"
That's enough randomness for one day. If you want a further explanation of these quotes, hit me up in the comments section. I hope you are all enjoying your Labor Day and don't have to work like me. Have a great one!
It was written...
What I'm Listening To - "4:21 The Day After" - Method Man
Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Why I gotta work today? I know it's just 4 hours, but it's a holiday dammit."
Here are some random quotes I heard at Sunday's Labor Day cookout.
"Can you pick up Mario? He's at the crib."
"I told that Ethiopian that you were on the way. Can you wait for him?"
"These niggaz always rapping about crack.... but they are so clever. Its almost like I wanna sell drugs if my skills would get that tight."
"He calls himself Skreals, cuz he's from the skreets and he is real."
"HEY, ROADBLOCK!!!!"
"I know that dude is going to jail, he just looks like he is riding dirty."
"Man it's raining like the world is about to end. Just take me home so I can watch the apocalypse from my own crib."
"Hey, I remember you. What's it been like a year?"
"You are such a gentleman. (followed by derisive laughter)"
"You really don't know Rashan very well. Just because he showed up looking GQ, does not mean he is a gentleman"
"Damn, you right. We have to demand that they start bringing more women to these things. 45 minutes is too long to drive for no ass"
"Pucci, let that young man sit down. He don't need to be eating standing up"
" I drive better when I'm drunk. I live in Buffalo, so I'm used to driving in the snow."
"You want a glass for that Scotch, or you gonna keep drinking out of that water bottle"
"When I grabbed the blade of that knife I coulda chopped my fingers off. Thats when they told me I can't drink J&B no more. Then I switched to White Label."
"I'm small, so my rap name will start with "big". He's Big so his rap name will start with "lil" and you're old as fuck so you can be "young." It's irony, nigga"
"What the fuck is that? Spainglish?
"Don't call that nigga Mexican. He will cut you for that shit. He's Guatemalan"
"Nigga, you don't know her. You downloaded that picture of the internet"
"Who bids blind 7?"
"Ugggghhh, will you get away from me RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"
"You got some secret admirers in this house"
"Mama, don't"
"You are a good looking young man. How come you don't have a girlfriend? Are you on the DL?"
"What happpened to that young lady you brought to the birthday dinner. Y'all were cute together."
"I'm about to dance on the table."
"I'm sorry my mama raped you with her eyes."
" K and J are always looking for young men to date. I could set that up for you if you want"
"I'm glad she came back, but I'm happy she got her own apartment. There's only so much of her crazy ass I can take."
"Man, them young bitches be wearing me out. I ain't aint as limber as I used to be. I gotta do stretches and shit before I hit that."
"Y'all gotta a dead body buried out back? What's up with all these damn flies?"
" Why old girl acting all sadi, sadi, saditty? Nigga, you know what I meant!"
"What the hell kind of guard dog is that? All these Black people around and he ain't even barking."
"Why you over there phone boning?"
"Whose camera phone is this? You got some fucked up pictures in here. Where the naked pictures at?"
"I'm just saying Tiger Woods look like the Geico gecko."
"I ain't riding with you. Y'all be drinking and smoking"
"Will you get that beer bottle away from you mother. Last thing she needs is to hit a roadblock with an open container."
"That plate is enough for you and your old lady." followed by "FUCK HER, this my shit"
"If I find out you messing around on my boy, I'm gonna shoot him"
"Nah, man. Its a girl"
"Well, I'll shoot her... unless she sexy"
That's enough randomness for one day. If you want a further explanation of these quotes, hit me up in the comments section. I hope you are all enjoying your Labor Day and don't have to work like me. Have a great one!
It was written...
posted by Rashan Jamal at 11:43 AM
22 Comments:
I don't want an explanation - it might spoil it. That was too funny, some of those had me laughing out loud for real!
lol..something told me to come by here. I knew I would be in for a laugh.
lol@"What the hell kind of guard dog is that? All these Black people around and he ain't even barking."
lol@the mama and the road block..too funny
i had to work today too. i'm 'bout to take me a cat nap and get 'bout it 'bout it though...
being the birfday and all...
there should be a video of me dancing on the bar on you tube by the morning:-)
@ hypothetically speaking - I'm glad you liked it. These certainly were very funny to me when i heard them
@ liquor and tv - I started to use the sinus infection thing, but I punked out. LOL
@ Trizzy - old girl wasnt no joke with her scotch... She didnt even put any water in it. Said she been dranking scotch straight for years.
@ Miss Ahmad - I'm gonna need for you to send me the link to the bar dancing. Happy Born Day!
@ The Cas:
"derisive". That's a great word, brother. I'm proud of you.
"Mama, Don't". That sounds like me at any given moment with the woman who birthed me forward.
"I'm sorry my mama raped you with her eyes". That's sordid, and prolly something my children would say if I ever decided to have them.
:P
"You are a good looking young man. How come you don't have a girlfriend? Are you on the DL?" THAT'S MESSED UP!!!!
And how in the world did you remember all that?
@ Chele - see, I switched a few up to make it seem like I didnt say it. I was yelling "HEY ROADBLOCK" to passing drivers. I also said "Hey, I remember you to a girl who lives in my apt complex but I havent seen in forever" I also asked about the scotch and the water bottle. And yes you were right, I added the "irony" comment to Mario's joke.
@ P - My homegirls mother made me feel dirty, like a piece of meat. LOL I got a pretty good vocab, i got an english degree and this is the only chance I get to use it. \
@ Divine - So, we were joking around. And Mario said he would shoot the dude that my homegirl was messing with (its just a joke, she aint doing nothing) And I said, it might be a girl.. and thats when Mario jumped in with that line
@ The Goddess - Sadly, that comment was directed towards me. One of the hosts mother thought she was being funny... okay, it was funny as hell, but she didnt have to direct that to me. LMAO And as far as how I remembered it, I was thinking the whole night about how I couldnt wait to tell y'all about the funny stuff that was going on.
that was more than a little bit of randomness at the cookout! im surprised no one said "who in the hell left the gate open" or "lawd, take me now!"
Random in deed, I'm just too through with the DL question. I guess in Atlanta nowa' days, it's a vaid one.
Sorry you had to work brotha', but sounds like your Sunday was pretty cool.
LOL at the guard dog. Yeah: HOW COME the dog wasn't guarding? LOL! He was too busy trying to get some BBQ, huh? I bet he say: "Damn, I want a bone, too!"
LOL!
Well, at least you had a good time, RJ. We had to scrap our plans because it rained/stormed all day yesterday...
"Don't call that nigga Mexican. He will cut you for that shit. He's Guatemalan"...this shyt is hilarious cause for real that happened to me. I asked this dude what part of mexico he was from and that cat got pissed the fuk off...I guess because he was from argentina LMAO!!
"You are a good looking young man. How come you don't have a girlfriend? Are you on the DL?"...*DEAD* but I probably would of thought it too...especially here in ATL. I went to Lennox Mall on Sat. WTF is going on...I swear I wish I had my camera cause no one would believe how many fukin gayolas was walking around up in there. But I know you ain't one of them T. Cas., right? LMAO!!! just kidding!!!
"Man, them young bitches be wearing me out. I ain't aint as limber as I used to be. I gotta do stretches and shit before I hit that."...How old was dude? If he is under 40 his azz needs to take some vitamins and try hitting the gym a couple times a week. Lazy africans kill me talking about they getting to old for innovative sex...breaks my heart!!! LMAO!!
@ fallen - I didnt hear those, but I wouldnt be surprised if they were said when I was outside
@ isha - yeah, it was pretty cool even though there were no eligible women to holla at
@ JoJo - that was the laziest dog ever. He just sat on the patio and looked at us. Wasnt barking, wasnt patrolling just lethargic
@ Royce's Daughter - Lennox is the worst.. Its got a 2-1 rainbow ratio. The dude is like 29, and I think he was trying to be funny. He went on a 5 minute mysoginistic monologue..
@ ttd - We were listening to my homeboys demo and there was a dude called himself lil something. He's about 6'6". Then we decided that we would make our rap names the opposite of what they are. LOL We are nerds sometimes.
This was so hilarious....lemme see
"Whose camera phone is this? You got some fucked up pictures in here. Where the naked pictures at?"
That sounds like me, cause I know what kinda pics in my phone then when I look through other people's phones it be straight booty...
"Who bids blind 7?"
Why can't you bid a blind 7?...*lol*
"Don't call that nigga Mexican. He will cut you for that shit. He's Guatemalan"
They will cut you forreal....I bet that Guatemalan looked good....
"I'm small, so my rap name will start with "big". He's Big so his rap name will start with "lil" and you're old as fuck so you can be "young." It's irony, nigga"
This was too funny, who said that, it has some truth to it!...*lol*
"I know that dude is going to jail, he just looks like he is riding dirty."
I say the same thing...is that considered racial profiling...but 9 times outta 10 they do be dirty...*lol*
"He calls himself Skreals, cuz he's from the skreets and he is real."
*DYING*
This was all at 1 cookout?
This was all too funny. I'm gonna take a note pad to my brother-in-laws next ghetto get together. I'm sure I'll probably get some priceless gems like these: LOL
When I grabbed the blade of that knife I coulda chopped my fingers off. Thats when they told me I can't drink J&B no more. Then I switched to White Label."
Cause all that clan does is drink brown liquor!!!!
LMAO
""I'm small, so my rap name will start with "big". He's Big so his rap name will start with "lil" and you're old as fuck so you can be "young." It's irony, nigga" LMAO
So now I got a new phrase: Phone Boning. Classic!
"You are a good looking young man. How come you don't have a girlfriend? Are you on the DL?"
I am still laughing at this one. Everyone keeps asking me if all the men in ATL are on the DL since my trip down there. I always respond by saying I dunno. It's not like they were a sign on their foreheads. Lol.
This was too funny! (wiping the tears from my eyes)
Some were a little disturbing though...
I needed that laugh!!!!
Dude, I tried to catch up, but had to stop after
"I'm sorry that my momma just raped you with her eyes."
You damn near caused me to bust open my surgical incision!
These quotes are hilarious. Who asked you if you were on the DL?
LOL...I know I should have been there....
@ nsane - the phone had pictures of hairstyles and babies. and dude looked Edgerrin James with the dreads and gold teeth. I know he had a fat dimebag on him
@ NegroPino - all at the same cookout
@ onefromphilly - you should take a note pad, im sure it will be hilarious. Be sure to share those gems with me
@ The Stiltwalker - Phone boning? We been using that one for years
@ Miz JJ -Tell them HELL NO!!! These damn magazines got the shit all twisted. Got people looking at me sideways. It aint even like that.
@ SandyBaby - Glad I could make you laugh, I was cracking up all day
@ Cocoa - be careful, dont want you to have to see that nigga perco
@ Tenacious - we would have clowned people all day.
"You are a good looking young man. How come you don't have a girlfriend? Are you on the DL?"
-I could just hear the answer to this:
"Why yes ma'am. I sure am. Thanks for asking."
***"Nah, man. Its a girl"***
????? what was that about?
"He calls himself Skreals, cuz he's from the skreets and he is real."
-dear LAWD I almost fell out the chair!
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