Thursday, August 31, 2006

I Gotta Testify

Inspiration - "Touch The Sky" Kanye West feat Lupe Fiasco "I gotta testify, come up in the spot looking extra fly/For the day I die, I'mma touch the sky/Gotta testify, come up in the spot looking extra fly/For the day I die, I'mma touch the sky"

What I'm Listening To - "The Low-End Theory" - A Tribe Called Quest

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today - "Where the hell did this post come from? I'm either nuts or I'm a fucking genius. I haven't decided yet."

Judge: In the case of the State of Blogdonia vs. Rashan Jamal Casanova, will the defense call its next witness.

Defense Attorney: The defense calls Rashan Jamal to the stand.

Baliff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Me: You damn right!

Judge: That is not appropriate, please say I do or I will.

Me: My bad, your honor. I was just trying to give it a little flavor…nah’mean? I do.

Judge: Please take the stand.

Defense attorney: Rashan, you have been charged with a heinous crime. How do you respond to your accusers?

Me: See, its like this. I try to follow the rules, but there’s something in me that just won’t allow it.

Defense attorney: Please elaborate for the jury.

Me: I try to live a virtuous life. I don’t kill, I don’t steal… anymore. And I don’t lie. But for some reason, trouble just seems to follow me.

Defense attorney: Are you referring to the charges that have been levied against you?

Me: I am. See no matter what I do, I can’t please everybody. There’s always gonna be some haters.

Defense attorney: Define haters? Is that one of those hip hop terms? I’m not quite sure the jury understands.

Me: Yeah, its kinda hip hop I guess. It derives from E 40, who coined the phrase playa hater. The meaning has been kinda bastardized now that grandmas, preachers and white people are using it.

Prosecutor: OBJECTION!!! The defendant is assuming facts not presented in evidence.

Judge: Objection Sustained! Please have Mr. Casanova’s generalizations struck from the record.

Me: My bad again, Your Honor. Let me continue. When I say haters, what I mean is that no matter what I do, some people are not going to be happy.

Defense Attorney: Tell the court what you mean.

Me: When I first started my blog, I wrote just for me. It was easy because nobody was reading it. Then when people found me, I felt the need to entertain.

Defense Attorney: I see, then what happened?

Me: Well, some people thought that I wasn’t dealing with any emotional issues. They said my blog was too superficial. I mean, I just wasn’t comfortable with it.

Defense Attorney: I see, these are the haters you were referring to?

Me: No, I wouldn’t call them haters, they were just trying to make my writing better.

Defense Attorney: So did you start to reveal more of yourself on your blog?

Me: I fought it for awhile, but eventually I did. Do you remember the story of my ex? I never would have written about that when I first started. It was way too personal.

Defense Attorney: That was indeed a breakthrough for you.

Prosecutor: OBJECTION! Opposing counsel is testifying.

Judge: Sustained. Please move on.

Defense Attorney: Mr. Casanova… please continue.

Me: Certainly. I have changed my writing style. I have tried to become a more well rounded blogger. I stopped avoiding male’s blogs, I put some of my writing out there, and most importantly, I started revealing emotions.

Defense Attorney: Tell me about that. How have people reacted?

Me: For the most part, they like it. A few people have misinterpreted my intentions and labeled me soft, but I don’t see it like that. The way I see it, I’m just being me. Sometimes, I’m a jerk, sometimes I’m sweet, and sometimes, I just don’t feel like being bothered. I hope “It Was Written” reflects the whole me.

Defense Attorney: Now on to the charges: You stand accused of being a big softie. Any truth to those charges?

Me: I vehemently deny that. If anything, I’m just a real person and I go through the ups and downs like everyone else.

Defense Attorney: Even you have to admit though, that you have lost some of your edge. What happened to the hateful, spiteful, sarcastic blogger that we used to know?

Me: He’s still here. Did you read my last post? I was sarcastic as hell in that post. The only difference is that is not the only side of me that I reveal now.

Defense Attorney: Thank you, Mr. Casanova.: No further questions. Your witness.

Prosecutor: Mr. Casanova, do you really think that the jury is buying this story that you are just “more well rounded?”

Me: They should. It’s the truth.

Prosecutor: I submit that you are a big softie! You are hardly ever mean anymore!

Defense Attorney: OBJECTION! Argumentative.

Judge: I’ll allow it. Please answer the question.

Me: I can be mean, but I just don’t choose to do it that often. I’ll give you an example. Last month, I gave my middle eastern co worker the nickname of Al-Qaeda. That was mean, wasn’t it? By the way, that wasn't really a question.

Prosecutor: Most people seem to think that you were just trying to be funny. You weren’t really trying to hurt his feelings.

Me: Regardless of that, I can be mean.

Prosecutor: Your writing is showing everybody just how much of a softie you are. I direct the jury’s attention to the morning of August 25th. Do you care to explain what that post was about?

Me: See, what had happened was… That post was for someone special. I was thinking these things and I just had to let them out.

Prosecutor: Don’t you think that post demonstrates just how much of a softie you are? You would have never done that when you first started.

Me: (hesitating) You are right. I can’t deny that seems out of character. But I don’t think that means that I am going soft. I’m just being a real person with real feelings.

Prosecutor: And then your next post. You told everyone your real name. Why would you do that?

Me: It’s like this. I don’t feel the need to hide behind a pseudonym anymore. The only reason I used the name T. Casanova was because I didn’t want people to find my blog. I don’t care about that anymore. I’m proud of it and if people find it, then so be it. I have nothing to hide.

Prosecutor: So you’re saying that has nothing to do with the fact that you are “losing your edge?”

Me: On the contrary, It’s because I am showing the real me. Hate it or love it, this is me. I like me, and if other people don’t then they don’t have to read. It’s been a slow process, but I am finally to the point that I am not worried about people’s reaction to me. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a comment-whore and I still obsess over how many visits I get, but I am not afraid of a negative reaction anymore.

Prosecutor: One final question. What happened with you and that butterfli chick?

Me: (hesitating) I plead the fifth!

Prosecutor: Why can’t you tell the jury about that?

Me: See, you starting to piss me off. Move on, nigga!

Prosecutor: We heard testimony earlier from Mocha and Tenacious, and they both said that you were being too nice about the situation. Please tell the jury what happened.

Me: I don’t want to get into it. What’s done is done. No need to rehash that.

Prosecutor: See, you are too nice. I submit that you, Mr. Casanova, are a big softie. You had the perfect opportunity to be mean, and you didn’t take it. No further questions.

Me: …I’m is mean, dammit!!!

Prosecutor: (yelling) I SAID NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!!

Me: Wait, muhfucka!! I ain't finished!!!

Judge: Mr. Casanova, please step down from the witness stand

Me: (yelling) THIS IS BULLSHIT!!! I’M HARD! I’M FROM THE STREETS! I’M NOT A NICE GUY! I’M AN ASSHOLE! REALLY, I AM!!!

Judge: That’s for the jury to decide now, Mr. Casanova. Bailiff, escort this man out of the courtroom.

Judge: Now that the defendant is out of here, I want to address the jury. The charges are simple. Your duty is to decide whether Rashan Jamal aka T. Casanova is a big softie. The fundamental question is whether, “It Was Written” is getting weak as the prosecution claims or if T. is just showing more of his real personality as the defense claims. You new readers and lurkers should not be hesitant to express your opinions either. I leave it up to you to deliberate in the comments section.

It was written…

48 Comments:

Blogger SandyBaby said...

FIRST!!!!!!!

OMG! I am having flashbacks!!!! I just had jury duty for 4 days. FOUR DAYS of my life that I can't get back! PISSED does not even begin to explain how heated I was about the whole situation. You know they only pay you $15 a day for that sh*t???? I need to let this go..... Let me keep it movin'...

My verdict - Not Guilty

Thu Aug 31, 09:04:00 AM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

marshmellowy soft

lol..that was a good story tho

and who is butterfly? could you tell that story please?

Thu Aug 31, 09:07:00 AM  
Blogger chele said...

I haven't figured out if your nuts or a genius either. You're just Rashan: entertaining, articulate and a joy to read.

I also realize that I must be blind as a bat to have not seen what was going on. Were YOU the muse?

Thu Aug 31, 09:15:00 AM  
Blogger Cool AC said...

So, what if people think you are a softie! Do you! Write what you want. This is the chronicle of YOUR life and what you want to remember. The people who you seek to please will come and go. So what's the point? Btw - I don't think you are a softie.

Thu Aug 31, 09:24:00 AM  
Blogger ----- said...

LMAO @ this entire post. Brilliant...or am I showing just a little bias?! ;)

Can I answer Chele's question?! LOL

Let ME stop being mean now...cuz I'm a self-proclaimed softie who just switches it up from time to time with the mean ish.

~Trizzy

Thu Aug 31, 09:27:00 AM  
Blogger chele said...

If someone doesn't tell me something I'm going to burst into flames!!!!! Just kidding. I think I got my answer. Dayum.

Thu Aug 31, 09:38:00 AM  
Blogger nikki said...

hey, you don't have to tell us what happened. check that post about the 'scenarios' and it's all right there. LMAO (and this after not even talking to you...hehehe)

yeah, this post is brilliant. no, i don't think you're being too nice about the butterfli situation. bottom line is that no one's behavior should dictate your own. you know that so i'm preaching to the choir.

no need to rehash cuz as you say "it is what it is". folk either get over it or they don't. again, that's on them, not you.

and i noticed her link ain't even on your shit anymore. damn, that's one helluva cut. now don't you even THINK about removing my shit or i'm all over your ass like shit on a baby's diaper.

Thu Aug 31, 09:45:00 AM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

That was pure genius...Personally I dont see anythign wrong with your writing. I dont feel u are soft. YOu are a MAN and u have feelings. Thats what your blog is for. U cant say this shit on myspace. They would really think u are SQUARE then huh? ONe day I wnana get inside that head of yours :)

Thu Aug 31, 09:54:00 AM  
Blogger thee modern isis said...

Soft? Not at all. I guess some women want men to be all contained, hardcore, no emotions, etc. .. but then again those are the ones that complain also about those same men. I think you're fine the way you are and ...

sometimes you have to go through some shit.. to get to where you need to be.

Let the church say.. Amen!

Thu Aug 31, 09:59:00 AM  
Blogger chele said...

Thanks Nikki. I don't know how I missed that post the first time. Again I say, Dayum!

Thu Aug 31, 10:09:00 AM  
Blogger Phoenix said...

You can be what ever you want... don't let the jury decide... Keep on keeping on...

Thu Aug 31, 10:16:00 AM  
Blogger Miz JJ said...

Drama in the blog world. Lol. Well, if you are soft it seems to be working for ya. Do you.

Thu Aug 31, 10:17:00 AM  
Blogger Mocha_Grl said...

Do you really wanna hear my testimony?? lol..cuz you know I love calling people out on their shit! Okay, ok, my momma taught me to mind my bizness.

As for the softie accusation...what happened? I thought we was gonna stay HARD! lol...I'm with Miz JJ..do you

and btw nuts or fuckin' genius??..umm i haven't decided yet either :D

Thu Aug 31, 10:25:00 AM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

ahhh, so that blogger blue butterfly was gonna meet up with T Casanova, then she confessed that the picture of that cross-eyed girl wasn't really her.

Am I close?

Thu Aug 31, 11:00:00 AM  
Blogger Miss Ahmad said...

okay i'm gonna log on for the rest of the day to read the comment sections cuz the post was killing it!

Blogging, like any other community is filled with people changing and going thru changes.

I was deep in the poetry community for years and watched folks go from heavy ass black history poems to love poems and back again.

Afro's to perms to whatever...life is big and worth exploring and every body may not be by your side at the finish line.

Enjoy where you are, and be in the moment...and umm, get some Law & Order music up here!

Thu Aug 31, 11:13:00 AM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

Naw man, this was hot for real....aint this what bloggin is all about? I had to go back and read the story from 8-25...simpy beautiful...Yeah Royce's Daughter is right, I guess I failed in my Chuck Woolery role..lol...

oh and what the heck happened with the butterfli? so i guess you can say the "wings were clipped" on that relationship, huh? LOL!!!!

Thu Aug 31, 11:49:00 AM  
Blogger TTD said...

i'm a new reader.. i dont think ur soft.. i like ur posts.. i think ur a well-rounded blogger b/c your topics change on a day-to-day basis...

Thu Aug 31, 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

@ SandyBaby - $15 a day? That's crazy, no wonder people always try to get out of it.

@ Liquor and TV - LOL @ marshmellowy. If you would get your ass on IM every now and again, you would already know...

@ chele - you figured it out yet? LMAO Nikki just put the whole thing on blast.

@ Cool Ac - preciate ya! I'm always gonna do me.

@ Trizzy - I already know you aint gonna say nothing. I just had a little free time last night so I wrote this long one.

@ nikki - she closed her blog down. I didnt have a reason to keep it there. You still there, shawty. Don't worry about that.

@ negropino - thanks, ma! I dont know if you wanna get in my head, its lots of scary stuff in there. LOL

@ thee modern isis- Hello, my sworn enemy! LOL Thanks for the kind words.

@ phoenix - honestly, i just thought the jury deliberations was a clever way to end the post. I'm too stubborn to change for anyone else. LOL

@ miz jj - Its working? Thanks!

@ mocha - the appropriate answer to that question is Rashan, you are a fuckin' genius. LOL! I told you to start being hard, and I would catch up later.

@ miss ahmad - if i could figure out how to type that law and order sound phonetically, I would add it. LOL. Come on back and check the comments.. I know Im gonna be sneaking back all day during work.

@ Rob Mack - What's the deal, bruh? Read between the lines and you'll know everything you need to know about that situation. LOL

@ TTD - thanks. I try to switch it up, but sometimes I get in a rut and start repeating myself.

Thu Aug 31, 11:56:00 AM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

Yeah you know what, I did...forgive me...I was actually going to write another comment saying that "I got it" but you beat me to it....dayum......

Thu Aug 31, 12:04:00 PM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

I be on IM sometimes...I think

Thu Aug 31, 12:14:00 PM  
Blogger The Mistress said...

I love when you go and get split personalities on us and start acting out shit.

This is great.

Thu Aug 31, 12:17:00 PM  
Blogger JoJo D. said...

I love it when a man goes "hard", using words like "bitch", "hoe", and whatever else to express himself. Words are nothing but emotional expression. Write it like you want it, say it like you mean it, goddamn it, and fuck the rest and Leroy, too, okay? Don't be holding back because you're afraid to hurt someone's sensitivities or sensibilities. That's why the world is fucked up NOW, because people are afraid to say what's on the tips of their tongues. I certainly have a potty mouth, and when I started blogging a year ago, I thought I'd better check some of my shit before I say it, but, now, fuck it. If you don't like what I say, then shut your ears and eyes. And I always welcome crticism, however good or bad, because that's what it is: opinion and point of view. You see I didn't remove that bad comment from one of my recent posts that some asshole left me. As a matter of fact, that shit slid off my back like water off a duck's ass. Most of the time, I embellish and overly adorn my stories and posts, but it's all good; it's all in fun.

And why are people still easily offended, anyway? In this day and age, nothing surprises me anymore. As a matter of fact, I hope people come to my blog and criticize me because then I can find out which areas I need to tighten up my backstroke on. It's the first principal of being a godd writer. I don't like for people to fakely tell me the things they think I want to hear, instead of telling me the truth and breaking it down for me.

You're a good man, RJ. Not afraid to "go there", and that's cool, that's what I find most attractive about people. I think there's a line from a movie that says: "Only in America will a Black man feel low enough about himself to wanna be a White man." They were talking about Michael Jackson, but, I think the point was: "Two tears in a bucket, and motherfuckit. I am WHO I am." If that makes any sense. Don't change. Be the same, okay?

Sorry for rambling and hijacking your blog, okay?

Thu Aug 31, 12:39:00 PM  
Blogger JoJo D. said...

Knock, knock, knock. Hello, I'm back again, because I want to clarify something. I didn't mean to imply that you would use words like those examples at the first part of my first comment. However, if you did, it wouldn't bother me because words like that don't scare me - I don't know how other women feel about that.

Okay, have a good day, Sugarpie (there I go with that petname bullshit again! LOL!). And I wondered what happened to La Mariposa Azul... I thought it was something that I said to her that made her shut her shit down all of a sudden. I didn't realize at the time that something hot and heavy was afoot with you and she. I'm on my way to find out what happened with y'all. Then again, no I'm not because that aint my business. I hope she's okay, none the less.

Thu Aug 31, 12:55:00 PM  
Blogger Tenacious said...

You're a genius T.Cas

errr...I plead the fiz-ith...one two three four fiff...

I didnt call you soft, I said you were nice * a good thing* could not have been me but whatever...I just don't like liars.

I had peeped the cut off too but um I'm not going to say anything

You are the last person I would think of as "soft", you just listen to your conscious more than the rest of us...lol

T Cas you've already brought beef to my lil old page, you trying to get a sister jacked LOL

Thu Aug 31, 01:32:00 PM  
Blogger ChezNiki said...

Fantastic Post!

I applaud folk that strive to be more real on their blog and in real life. You are not soft, you are courageous in the most important way.

My blog is a very detailed account of one sliver of my real life. I never tell anyone the whole story on my blog or in real life...I dont trust anyone that much.

But Im glad there are those out there who do. One day I will be able to step into my full self and be all the way me.

Haters=People who try to distract folks from their own disatisfaction with themselves by causing trouble.

Thu Aug 31, 02:16:00 PM  
Blogger tjeanise said...

YOU are truly hilarious!! Ok--ok..you're a genius!

Anyway, I DID notice while reading blue butterfly's page that you were on there as her blog boyfreind and then all of a sudden you weren't and then I couldn't find her website anymore:(

Thu Aug 31, 02:23:00 PM  
Blogger onefromphilly said...

This was so well written! Thanks for letting us into your head.
*it's a little scary in here* LMAO

So you're either genius or crazy. Either way i'm still ridin wit ya!
Keep writing....

Thu Aug 31, 02:34:00 PM  
Blogger Honey-Libra said...

Hmm see here's where my confusion comes in I dont think you're a softie I think you have soft moments that sneak up on ya. Then again perhaps they sneak up on us LOL...

I OBJECT!!! I've always wanted to say that LOL

Thu Aug 31, 02:37:00 PM  
Blogger nikki said...

hehehe@rashan. nice sidestep. you know that girl has another blog. LOL

Thu Aug 31, 03:03:00 PM  
Blogger Miss Ahmad said...

umm could i get a full back story please or do i have to dig thru your old blogs?

Thu Aug 31, 03:07:00 PM  
Blogger Isha said...

I've been a lurker for about 3 or 4 weeks and I love what you post. I can feel you on being a comment-whore and obsessing over how many visits I get, but I've come to the point of realizing that the blog is FOR ME more than anyone else and me being me is most important. It's cool to reach out and share and you're brave to go beyond your comfort zone to let folk know the real you! Not guilty is my vote. Do ya' thank T. Awesome writing.

Thu Aug 31, 03:22:00 PM  
Blogger Royce's Daughter said...

There goes that Albert Einstien in you again. I was reading and then well all I can say is WOW? I don't know what the goings on really is...and at this point might be best that I don't know. But on the strength of some of the things you indirectly put out there...I'ma have to say...INNOCENT!!! No way you got a bunch of softie up in you LOL!!

Thu Aug 31, 03:31:00 PM  
Blogger ----- said...

LMAO @ Nikki

Miss Ahmad ~ I REALLY wouldn't mind giving you the briefing...get at me.

Rashan ~ I CAN TO be mean...I don't like it, but I can do it. Anyways - how mean can it really be if it's honesty?

Thu Aug 31, 03:40:00 PM  
Blogger Royce's Daughter said...

YO!! Nik is off the friggin hook...if I was thinking that was what happened she dayum sure confirmed it...HELLO and GOODBYE PEOPLE!!! LOL!!

Oh and Did Liquor and TV say cross-eyed girl who really wasn't her....*mouth is ajar right now* Not sure how I missed all this but I guess I'm just an idiot. *sigh*

Ya'll funny up in here today!!! and Oh yeah...T. you betta not take my link off either *rollin my eyes* you stuck with me for life...like me or not *stickin out my tongue*

Thu Aug 31, 03:42:00 PM  
Blogger fallen angel said...

is this your way of doing your "full disclosure" list? you always have to be different dontchu? that's what i like about you sir cas!!!! ;-)

oh yeah, and you aint slick trying to steal nick cannon's line from "drum line."

"Me: My bad, your honor. I was just trying to give it a little flavor…nah’mean? I do."

Thu Aug 31, 03:48:00 PM  
Blogger thee modern isis said...

Damn@ u hittin' over 30 comments and growing.

This is turning Oh So Messy

Thu Aug 31, 04:15:00 PM  
Blogger SynSational said...

Do you, sweetie, do you. I'm going to have to go with 'Not Guilty' of course....you gotta keep people guessing on what's next, and you do a good job of that.

Thu Aug 31, 04:28:00 PM  
Blogger chele said...

stop nikki ... your killin' me LOL.

You love this ish don't you, Rashan? hehehe you (comment) whore

Thu Aug 31, 06:33:00 PM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

@ Rob Mack - yeah, you got it. LOL

@ liquor and tv - I checked my archives and i havent talked to you since 7/31. You ain't my friend anymore. LOL

@ The mistress - you like? good, cuz i have many personalities to explore

@ JoJo D. - I feel you on this. I changed, but I didnt really change to something I'm not.

@ Tenacious - I didn't mean to involve you in the beef. I was just trying to give you a shout since you my peoples... yeah, that's it. LOL And beleive me, you were already involved in the beef without knowing it.

@ ChezNiki - I figure I can tell it all, because you guys dont really know me. Its the anonymity that gives me the freedom to talk so openly. I dont do this in real life.

@ tjeanis - the blog boyfriend thing was kind of a joke, then it went too far. She's still out there somewhere if you wanna find her.

@ onefromphilly - I will keep writing, but I agree its scary in my head.

@ honey-libra - LOL @ I OBJECT. The soft moments do sneak up on me. Sometimes, I'm like WTF?

@ nikki - shut it up!!!

@ Isha - welcome! This blog thing has definitely expanded my horizons and took me out of my comfort zone

@ Royce's Daughter - You probably done figured it all out by now. If not, I will be sure to fill you if we all get up for drinks when Blah comes down.

@ Trizzy - If you wanna be mean, you got a post in your drafts just waiting. LOL

@ Royce pt 2 - Why would I take your link off? You a lifer.

@ fallen - I didnt mean to bite Nick Cannon of all people. LOL I do try to bring it a little different than other people.

@ thee modern isis - it was unintentional, but I'm okay with the mess.

@ SynSational - thanks, I'm gonna keep doing me, good to see you here again

@ chele - why the comment gotta be in parentheses? you implying something? LOL

Fri Sep 01, 12:42:00 AM  
Blogger Epsilonicus said...

I think your blog shows all the facets of your personality. Ifthat makes you a softie, oh well.

Fri Sep 01, 02:07:00 AM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Brilliant....but you not soft, you're actually very strong to be able to show all sides of you. Most men use that hard exterior to cover their true emotions, but only a real man, can admit that he has feelings...

Fri Sep 01, 11:04:00 AM  
Anonymous The Goddess said...

Ok, I would have to say you're a Genius. This was another entertaining post. There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy as long as you aren't TOO nice and allow people to take advantage of you. I'd have to say you've been acquitted!

Fri Sep 01, 11:46:00 AM  
Blogger The L said...

a wise man from the chi named bernie mac once said, if people don't like you...fuck 'em, fuck 'em up against the wall with handcuffs on and crazy glue on they lips!

do you dawg, we will all keep reading cause we need our fix.

Fri Sep 01, 04:24:00 PM  
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