Thursday, August 24, 2006

Dating Don'ts

So, I was doing some of my regular blog reading when I came across a hilarious post The Mistress wrote over at her spot. It was a list of things that men should not do on a date. I immediately started thinking about some of the things I have seen and/or heard about. Ladies, here is a list of things not to do on a date. These have all happened either to me, or to other guys that I know.

1) Don't talk about how ill your nana is, and expect us not to try you.
Ladies now a days like to brag on their stuff just like men do. That's cool, but what you are doing is putting the thought in a man's head. He may not have even been on that level, but the minute you talk about how wet you get or how good you give dome, a man is gonna want to see what you are really about.

2) Don't talk about your baby daddy or daddies
A lot of people have kids, so this is no big deal. The problem comes when ladies talk about how crazy their baby daddy is or tell us that he is still stalking you. This will make a man go running in the opposite direction. Nobody wants to deal with that kind of drama.

3) Don't characterize all men as "triflin'" or "no good"
Some women are extremely jaded when it comes to dating. It is not appropriate to air your grievances on some poor unsuspecting man who is only trying to get to know you. If you have such a poor opinion of men, then why did you even accept the date?

4) Don't ask for money on the first date.
I know the old adage: Men go for women for their looks and women go for the money. Even if that's what attracted you to a man, please don't go overboard in the beginning. It won't work in most instances and even if it does, the man then has a sense of control over you.

5) Don't burp or otherwise display horrible table manners
This has happened to me. I was at dinner with a young lady and she just let one loose at the table. Didn't even say excuse me. I was disgusted; we were actually having a good time until she did that. I ain't saying that you have to be Miss Manners, but I shouldn't have to see what you are eating. Close your mouth when you chew. I don't wanna be gazing lovingly in your eyes and then hear or smell you burp. Not a good look ladies!

6) Don't get pissy drunk at dinner
A first date is not the appropriate time to be taking shots of Patron or trying to win the Alcohol Olympics. You are gonna say something you regret, and the man is gonna be turned off. Special exemption is granted if both of you are getting drunk. But for the most part, you should sip your Cosmo or chocolate martini instead of gulping down Cuervo like your insides are on fire and only liquor can put it out.

7) Don't go dance with another man while on a date
I heard this one from some guy I know. He told me that he and this young lady went out to a club. He went to the bathroom and when he came out, his date was grinding on some dude. After the song, she came back to the table like nothing ever happened. Talk about awkward. Here's a tip ladies: Men don't like to see their date with another man, especially when she's simulating doggystyle on the dance floor.

8) Don't talk about "that trick you want to fight"
Aww Lawd, Shawty!!! Just don't do it. All the rah rah talk ain't attractive. Men don't want to date a fighter unless its Laila Ali. We sure don't wanna hear about how that trick stole your man or smoked your last nickel bag. Calm down and at least act like you got some home training.

9) Don't be overly negative and critical
I don't know if you remember my date with Nia, but this girl was like Debbie Downer. She didn't like anything. Her drink was too strong, her food was too cold, her job sucked, her apartment sucked. I'll tell you what sucked: Her attitude. She sucked all the fun out of the evening with her constant complaining. I know I aint the only one who has had a date like that.

10) Don't ask too many questions about sex.
There are some things you shouldn't talk about on a first date. For instance, don't ask a man when the last time he had sex was. This will confuse the hell out of him. Should he answer honestly and risk being labeled a manwhore? Should he stretch the truth and risk being considered a lame? I know that women are inquisitive by nature, but I'm gonna need you not to ask me about who the best sex of my life was with. You don't know her, so why do you need that information right now? I'll tell you that later after I get to know you a little.

I'm sure you got some don'ts you want to share. Fellas, help me out and add to the list. Ladies, let me know what your don'ts are. Hit me up in the comments section.

It was written...

30 Comments:

Blogger Sangindiva said...

FIRST!!!

You are KILLIN' ME with these:
gulping down Cuervo like your insides are on fire and only liquor can put it out.

Men don't like to see their date with another man, especially when she's simulating doggystyle on the dance floor.

ANNNND
We sure don't wanna hear about how that trick stole your man or smoked your last nickel bag.

I mean - I really don't believe women act like this on dates for real and expect a relationship to ensue!

This was a FANTASTIC POST!!!

Thu Aug 24, 04:56:00 AM  
Blogger KHALLI 88 said...

Yeah I got a peeked at hers and suggested that woman stop talking about fashion bags, shoes, blah, blah, I am not your gay co-worker but the guy from N-Sync would appreciate such chatter, wait I reside now in Atlanta so 85% of these cats love to hear it, I retract my statement :)

Thu Aug 24, 08:10:00 AM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

lol@sippin a chocolate martini. You may want to look out for that. Drinks like Chocolate martini's and Cosmo's are usually only ordered so the person can look cool. So when the chick orders this, beware, she's puting on fronts. And look out for the Daquiri chicks. Those drinks scream HOODRAT.

But here's a tip for the guys. If you do drink on the first date, do NOT order a fruity or colorful drink. Either order a shot on the rocks, or something on the rocks with some coke or something..something clear or brown. And please dear God do NOT order a virgin drink. Yes a guy ordered a virgin Pina Colada on the date while I ordered Goose on the rocks. When they brought our drink out, the server by instinct sat the colada in front of me and the Goose in front of him.

If you like fruity drinks, cool. But don't reveal that on the first date. Just stick to a Sprite or something.

Thu Aug 24, 08:55:00 AM  
Blogger chele said...

First of all, I order cosmos all the time ... not because I'm trying to be cool...I'm too old for that BS. I just like the way they taste.

Secondly, it is soooo sad that a list like this has to be published. Do women really act like this? What happened to home training? Guys, you really need to look for a better class of women. No one has to be Miss Manners but burping at the table? Talking about sex on a first date? Dayum! Women shouldn't complain about being dogged out when they set themselves up for it. If you want to be treated like a lady ... act like one.

Sorry for the rant.

Thu Aug 24, 09:28:00 AM  
Blogger Miz JJ said...

As they say in the West Indies you date some women with no broughtupsy. I am always shocked at people's lack of table manners. That is some shit that turns me off.

And that everybody has kids mess? Uh uh.

Thu Aug 24, 09:37:00 AM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

Heres some 1st date topics
1. sports-gotta know if sh'es a WINNER and wont be mad if you and the boys get together every Sunday
2. JOb
3. Life
4. Interests
5. Family

I hate when a dude talks about SEX on our first date/convo......i shut em down..i tell them I Like girls and only came out with them cuz they asked...or i hate when men ASSUME i got all these MEN based on my looks...Honey, these looks dont get me FREE GAS,FREE RENT, or some JORDANS.......DOnt assume I got a long line of admirers ready at my beck and call..Cuz i don't....

Don't tell me u got a condo in Miami and u VACATIONING in BOston but u dont have no ride and if i play my cards right I can MRS FREE NASTY

Dont invite me over your house until to find out u live in your parents PANTRY?

Invite me somewhere. Don't try to get me to come to your house..I have CABLE and my TV is bigger than yours..COME CORRECT If u wanna fawk then say SO....

Thu Aug 24, 09:53:00 AM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

Tee, come RESCUE ME :)

Thu Aug 24, 09:54:00 AM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

Ok Chele, you must be 35+. I've only bartended for younger crowds, and with that crowd it's all about how you look walking around with your cool drink and sipping from a cool colorful glass.

Thu Aug 24, 10:03:00 AM  
Blogger Blah Blah Blah said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Thu Aug 24, 10:06:00 AM  
Blogger Blah Blah Blah said...

Don't talk to me about what you "use to" have... Men always talk about ...I use to have this clean Saab back in the day. I use to have this 5 bedroom house but my wife got it in the divorce... MuthaEffa, what you got NOW?

Don't talk to me about "the women these days" are gold-diggers and just want to have sex and not real relationships... I know what the hell I am...lol

If you ask ME out on a date...please don't ask me where do I want to go...have a plan and be decisive!

Don't show up to my house in a Neon and expect me to get in it.

Don't ask me... how do you think this dating is going? or Do you think I am the sort of guy you would like to get to know better?

Be confident ...even if no one is checking for you...be confident!

Have some damn "dating" tricks up your sleeve... know 4 good restaurant in the area (even if you've never been there...go on line and find a restaurant), know another drink other than henny or gin-n-juice...something simple but cool...like chambrod and champagne (because I'm the type of chick to say "what do you recommend" or "you order for me"), know a cool lounge and a cool club to go after the dinner if the date is going well. Know a nice quiet romantic spot to sit and talk...NOT in your car on some side street.

Don't expect anything....but be open to anything.

Thu Aug 24, 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger Knockout Zed said...

This is the most needed post on the whole fuckin' blogosphere. It should be posted at beauty salons, forwarded like those dumb ass chain emails, and read aloud before church services and ball games.

KZ

Thu Aug 24, 10:12:00 AM  
Blogger thee modern isis said...

lol I read the Mistress' post about this and I was waiting for a men's point of view post.

I commented that the "talk about my sex game" conversation was totally unappropriate. I still stand at what I posted.

On a first date, I am myself. They get what they see, and if they don't like it.. well frankly, I'll keep it moving. The sex talk has no jurisdiction in a first date situation.

I'm too busy trying to have a good time, get to know the other individual and cracking jokes about the other people around.

Thu Aug 24, 10:30:00 AM  
Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

looks like you been dating some ghetto queens.

Thu Aug 24, 11:04:00 AM  
Blogger chele said...

Liquor & TV - You're right, I'm in my 40s.

BlahBlahBlah - Amen on being decisive! I love a dude with a plan!

Thu Aug 24, 11:23:00 AM  
Blogger Miss Ahmad said...

ooh i know a lil something something about this!

how about men don't think that a date means you have the right to expect sex at the end.

don't ask me on a date and then when the bill comes ask me to go dutch!

borrow some money from your homeboy, pawn your game boy, better yet get a fucken life!

don't talk incessantly on your cellular, or text message incessantly either. it's in poor taste and will act as a turn off!

don't talk about some chic who dumped you ten years ever!! it's creepy!

don't be a afraid to be chivalrous, gentlemanly, kind and considerate...it will go a long way brothers trust me!

Thu Aug 24, 11:35:00 AM  
Blogger Honey-Libra said...

Dont be afraid to do something different....

don't talk about how your hang with your boys all the time (eye roll)

don't take over the whole convo and then look at me when I'm not listening LOL

don't make me pay on the first date if you asked me out!!! LOL this happened recently and I posted about it.

Don't be afraid to have a good time...that's what dating is about

Thu Aug 24, 12:07:00 PM  
Blogger onefromphilly said...

This post is humorous, and I'm laughing at many of the comments, but i feel the pain. And thank God, that I'm out of the game. At my age I couldn't take it! Dating is too damn hard...

Thu Aug 24, 12:30:00 PM  
Anonymous The Goddess said...

This is so comical! I had this one guy talking to me about his "baby mama" and was telling me about her cheating on him and how he found out by stalking her. UH OK! Needless to say that was the last date AND conversation. Talk about first impressions. Smile

Thu Aug 24, 01:27:00 PM  
Blogger The L said...

i see i need to start a company that can do background checks for men's dates and training for women on how to behave on a date. a lot of my guy friends have the same issues, i don't know where y'all pick these chicks up from.

Thu Aug 24, 02:07:00 PM  
Blogger Royce's Daughter said...

All the ladies seem to have this one covered...especially Blah LOL!!

I'd like to add a couple...

Don't talk to me about our future...it's our first fukin date you azzhole and therefore NOW we have no future!

Don't quiz me about past relationships

Don't show up at my door looking like you got dressed in the dark or purchased your ensemble from your uncle Jonny's closet...have some fukin style you bamma

Be intuitive, know when things are progressing well without having to ask me

Don't ask me if we've going to do this again...if the date went well call me and ask me out again (like Blah said be confident)

I don't wanna here about your ex's and if you mention your baby's momma even once...HOLLA!!! If I am there with you I am trying to issue you a pass on the having kids things...however, the moment you mention it, pass is revoked and I'm going the fuk home!

and finally...Don't be blowing up my fukin phone if things do go well. I don't want you connected to me at the ear day in and day fukin out...

Thu Aug 24, 03:05:00 PM  
Blogger ----- said...

LMAO@Blah and Royce!!!

Y'all covered it...no help needed from me!! :D

Outstanding post...KZ ~ get to posting these rules, k?

~Trish

Thu Aug 24, 03:08:00 PM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

Don't talk about family issues....
I don't need to know all you business on the 1st date.
Keep it simple, life goals, plans, and general information.

Sex is a turn off to speak on, on a first date...we all know we are on this date to possibly have sex, but feign interest of something else.

Most guys that talk about their package, are lacking anyway...I hate to hear a man talk about how well he eats coochie....ummm...if I wanted to find out, I would...

Great Post T!!

Thu Aug 24, 04:33:00 PM  
Blogger TTD said...

on the mistriss spot.. i asked u what type of women you meet? i mean really.. if u need to tell a chick this type of mess, something is WRONG! lol! great list though.. but if your dating a lady.. these rules should be a given..

Thu Aug 24, 06:14:00 PM  
Blogger ChezNiki said...

CLASSIC!!!

Ive done Number Six, which mayve let to an accidental Number Five (belch), but other than that, I think I do pretty well...

For the dudes? I would really have to co-sign on Number Two. Im on a date with you, Homie. Not you, your ex-wife, your mama and your babymama. And if she is a crazed stalker, why put me in danger? I just want to eat and f*ck in peace!

Number Four is also important. This is the first date, so you will be paying so "dont ask for money on the first date"

Other than that? Dont wear too much cologne. Soap, water and clean laundry are the most important smells on a date. Besides, your cologne may overpower the flowers you get me...after all, it is a first date
;-P

Thu Aug 24, 07:35:00 PM  
Blogger nikki said...

i don't know who you fucking with t, but if you've come across women like this you might wanna reconsider where you picking them up. sounds like you be at the gubment offices on the first of every month picking your future dates out of that line. LOL

Thu Aug 24, 09:54:00 PM  
Blogger The Mistress said...

Gah-Dayum T! You've been hanging with some real chicken heades haven't ya?

This is hee-larious...did you say don't brag about how "ill your nana is"? AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

I have never done any of this shit on a date! Never, Ever!

Anyway, this list is pure comedy. Loved it! You'll have to do the "brother version" of more of my posts in the future.

Fri Aug 25, 12:04:00 AM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

Sorry for the late responses, I had some shit on my brain and I couldnt focus...

@ Sangi Diva - Thank you! I don't know what they are expecting, but there are some real winners out there. LOL

@ Khalli 88 - I'm gonna need you to not spread that stereotype. LOL. We already get the looks enough as it is.

@ Liquor and TV - LMAO @ the virgin pina colada. I'm gonna need him to man up a little bit.

@ Chele- that's my point. Just like there are some men who do crazy stuff on dates, some women do extremely inappropriate things too. Thanks for the rant

@ Miz JJ - It aint all the women I have dated, I of course picked the funniest stories. But yeah, no broughtupsy.

@ Negropino - I'm on my way to rescue you... LOL

@ blah blah blah - LOL you have some strong opinions about this one. I'm taking some tips from you.

@ KZ - Thanks, bruh. Women always talking about what we do, its about time they see what they do

@ thee modern isis -"trying to have a good time, get to know the other individual and cracking jokes"
That sounds like good first date ettiquette.

@ stilt - not all of them are my stories, but yeah, I've had more than my share of undercover ghetto girl dates

@ Miss Ahmad - I never understood the dutch thing on the first date. If you ask a woman out, then aren't you supposed to pay?

@ honey-libra - taking over the whole convo will never happen with me. I'm on the other extreme. I'm much more of a listener.. I'm trying to get to the point where I actually talk about myself.

@ onefromphilly - yeah, it is too hard. every first date is a night out of your life that you can't ever get back.

@ The Goddess - yeah, time to run from that date. LMAO

@ The L - do you need an investor in your company? cuz that is some well needed shit right there.

@ Royce's Daughter - where do I start with this comment? Oh, I know. LMAO!!! Uncle Jonny's closet. I'm seeing a dude in some highwater yellow pants with some black socks and a fake versace shirt circa 1996.

@ Trizzy - I'm sure you have something to add..

Fri Aug 25, 09:23:00 AM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

@ nsane - I have never taken it to the sex talk on the first date..I'm amazed that so many guys do it like that.

@ TTD - if it goes down like this, I'm not coming back for seconds. Maybe I need to get over it, cuz I'm getting too old for this shit.

@ Chez Niki - I forgot the too much cologne/perfume thing... And yes, I think a man should always pay for the first date.

@ nikki - I pick some real winners, dont I? The first and fifteenth are prime T. days. LMAO

@ the mistress - thanks for the inspiration... yeah, I said ill nana. I'm glad you don't do it like that, but there are too many that do.

Fri Aug 25, 09:37:00 AM  
Blogger fallen angel said...

hahahahah

what? foxy brown seems to think it IS okay to talk about how ill our nana is...

Sat Aug 26, 01:22:00 AM  
Blogger Ms. Blaize said...

T,

Well clearly I'm late on this post but I did feel you on this post. I mean - dayum,.... some people simply have NO home training! *shaking head*

As for sharing my tips, I wrote something like this last year but please note that it was tamer than yours! Also, I'll say this, if you dated any chick that did 'nere one of those things you posted on, then I can definitely see why you'd rather stay to your dayum self and have inner struggles when your alter ego tries to get you to be social and shyt! *ROFLMAO!!*

Anyway, here's the link!

http://msblaize.blogspot.com/2005/03/ms-blaizes-dos-and-donts-for-first-and.html

One,

~J. Blaize

Sat Aug 26, 05:13:00 AM  

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