The Blog Real World: Introduction
I plan this to be a week long series, so if you ain’t interested I will see you next week. LOL. None of the bloggers involved have given me permission to use their names and personas, so I hope it’s all right with them. If not, what you gonna do about it? Sue Me? Anyway, this is all in fun and I don’t know exactly where it’s gonna end up, but I hope you guys like it.
EDIT: For those of you who read this on Sunday and want to know what happens next... Click this link for part 2. Otherwise, I'll post it on Monday night after everyone has had a chance to read the first part.
The Blog Real World
This is the true story of 7 bloggers picked to live in a house and have their lives taped and find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. The Real World: Blog Edition
The camera pans across an ocean and lands on Missy. She is sitting on a park bench waiting to meet one of her roommates. She is cleaning her new Jordans and talking on her broken Nextel phone. She takes off her sunglasses and looks into the horizon. A silhouette is moving towards her direction. The camera eventually reveals…It’s Knockout Zed.
Missy: Are you my new roommate?
KZ: It depends, Are you the Ill NaNa?
Missy: Yeah, but I don’t call myself that anymore. Call me Missy. You must be KZ. Nice to meet you.
They hug and KZ helps Missy with her bags. They walk down the boardwalk and hail a large maroon and yellow taxi. The cabbie puts the bags in the trunk and they drive off.
Missy: I hope we are the first ones at the house. I want to pick out the sessiest room for myself.
KZ : I just hope all the girls are hot like you.
Missy blushes and the pair make small talk about their hometowns…
END SCENE
Rob Mack arrives at the airport and the camera follows him as he picks up his luggage from baggage claim. He stands outside the terminal when he sees a limo driver in a black suit holding up a sign that reads “Mr. Mack – Real World” He walks over to the limo and gets in. In the back seat, its Liquor and TV. She is drinking Grey Goose and Cranberry in a clear martini glass. She doesn’t speak as Rob enters the vehicle.
Rob Mack: Hi, I’m Robert from Chicago and you?
Liquor and TV: I’m drunk right now.
Rob Mack: Yeah, but what’s your name?
Liquor: I Like Liquor and TV.
Rob Mack: Interesting name. I don’t drink much myself.
Liquor: That’s cool, son! More for me!
The limo pulls off and the camera shows Liquor and TV pouring herself another drink, while Rob looks out the window.
END SCENE
A busy highway. Cars are speeding and shots of frustrated drivers. The camera cuts to a bright yellow Pathfinder. Inside are T. Cas and Nikki. Both have an exasperated look on their face.
Nikki: You lost again, Cas?
T. Cas: Seriously, Nikki. Don’t fucking talk to me. I told you I am directionally challenged. I can’t believe I had to drive cross country in this gay ass car with you.
Nikki: It ain’t my fault you don’t know where you going. No direction having muhfucka!
T. Cas: Didn’t I ask if you wanted to drive? Maybe if you would have talked less and paid attention to the map, you could have told me which way to go.
Nikki: Whatever, man!
More bickering ensues as they drive around in circles.
END SCENE
The door opens to a palatial estate. Missy and KZ walk in and look around with shocked looks on their faces. They see the various amenities of the Real World Mansion. They stop at the pool table. The balls are clear with different color exotic fish inside. Missy takes off running up a spiral staircase and the camera follows her as she checks out the three bedrooms. The first bedroom has 3 beds. The beds are adorned in navy bedspreads and Missy jumps up and down on each of them. She then checks the second bedroom. There are two canopy style beds with white bedspreads. The third bedroom that Missy enters also has two beds and the bedspreads are red.
KZ explores the downstairs area. The camera follows him as he walks through the living room and sees an orange leather sofa and recliner. The furniture is all post modern and eclectic. He makes his way to the corner of the room and pauses to admire the CD collection which consists of a diverse selection of music. As he pulls out a Little Brother CD, Rob Mack and Liquor and TV enter through the front door. The camera pans to them.
Rob Mack: Anyone Here????
Liquor and TV is putting little bottles of alcohol that she took from the limo in her bag. She has a disinterested glare on her face.
Liquor and TV: Where is the TV?
She is disgruntled until she sees the bar. It’s fully stocked with top shelf liquor and the coup de grace is a bottle of absinthe imported from Europe. It is green and glowing and completely mesmerizes Liquor and TV.
Rob walks around the mansion taking it all in. He runs into KZ and they exchange a manly handshake. Missy comes running down the stairs and greets Rob Mack with hug. She speaks to Liquor and TV, who mumbles something but doesn’t look back at Missy. Missy has a WTF look on her face but is interrupted by Nikki and T. Cas entering the mansion.
T. Cas: ATL bloggers in the house.
Nikki: (Screaming) YOOOOOO!!!! This shit is niiiiiiice.
T. Cas: She been like this for the whole trip. The only time she stopped talking was when she was playing with herself.
Nikki: Umm. Cas? Shut the fuck up!!! What’s up, folk!
Pleasantries are exchanged and all the bloggers take a tour of their new living arrangements. They walk around the crib, taking note of their surroundings. Of special interest to all are the coed bathrooms, the hot tub, and the huge kitchen stocked with every kind of food imaginable.
Rob Mack: Does anyone know who our last roommate is? It’s supposed to be 7 of us right?
Nikki: I don’t really care who it is. I bet they gonna be cool folk whoever it is.
KZ: It better be a woman. There’s too many dudes in here already. No offense, *Africans*.
T. Cas: None taken. I’m with you. How about that sexy Royce’s Daughter or that fine ass Bloopty Blop?
Missy: I think I hear someone at the door now…
The door opens and the final roommate is revealed to be….
Commercial Break
It was written…
EDIT: For those of you who read this on Sunday and want to know what happens next... Click this link for part 2. Otherwise, I'll post it on Monday night after everyone has had a chance to read the first part.
The Blog Real World
This is the true story of 7 bloggers picked to live in a house and have their lives taped and find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. The Real World: Blog Edition
The camera pans across an ocean and lands on Missy. She is sitting on a park bench waiting to meet one of her roommates. She is cleaning her new Jordans and talking on her broken Nextel phone. She takes off her sunglasses and looks into the horizon. A silhouette is moving towards her direction. The camera eventually reveals…It’s Knockout Zed.
Missy: Are you my new roommate?
KZ: It depends, Are you the Ill NaNa?
Missy: Yeah, but I don’t call myself that anymore. Call me Missy. You must be KZ. Nice to meet you.
They hug and KZ helps Missy with her bags. They walk down the boardwalk and hail a large maroon and yellow taxi. The cabbie puts the bags in the trunk and they drive off.
Missy: I hope we are the first ones at the house. I want to pick out the sessiest room for myself.
KZ : I just hope all the girls are hot like you.
Missy blushes and the pair make small talk about their hometowns…
END SCENE
Rob Mack arrives at the airport and the camera follows him as he picks up his luggage from baggage claim. He stands outside the terminal when he sees a limo driver in a black suit holding up a sign that reads “Mr. Mack – Real World” He walks over to the limo and gets in. In the back seat, its Liquor and TV. She is drinking Grey Goose and Cranberry in a clear martini glass. She doesn’t speak as Rob enters the vehicle.
Rob Mack: Hi, I’m Robert from Chicago and you?
Liquor and TV: I’m drunk right now.
Rob Mack: Yeah, but what’s your name?
Liquor: I Like Liquor and TV.
Rob Mack: Interesting name. I don’t drink much myself.
Liquor: That’s cool, son! More for me!
The limo pulls off and the camera shows Liquor and TV pouring herself another drink, while Rob looks out the window.
END SCENE
A busy highway. Cars are speeding and shots of frustrated drivers. The camera cuts to a bright yellow Pathfinder. Inside are T. Cas and Nikki. Both have an exasperated look on their face.
Nikki: You lost again, Cas?
T. Cas: Seriously, Nikki. Don’t fucking talk to me. I told you I am directionally challenged. I can’t believe I had to drive cross country in this gay ass car with you.
Nikki: It ain’t my fault you don’t know where you going. No direction having muhfucka!
T. Cas: Didn’t I ask if you wanted to drive? Maybe if you would have talked less and paid attention to the map, you could have told me which way to go.
Nikki: Whatever, man!
More bickering ensues as they drive around in circles.
END SCENE
The door opens to a palatial estate. Missy and KZ walk in and look around with shocked looks on their faces. They see the various amenities of the Real World Mansion. They stop at the pool table. The balls are clear with different color exotic fish inside. Missy takes off running up a spiral staircase and the camera follows her as she checks out the three bedrooms. The first bedroom has 3 beds. The beds are adorned in navy bedspreads and Missy jumps up and down on each of them. She then checks the second bedroom. There are two canopy style beds with white bedspreads. The third bedroom that Missy enters also has two beds and the bedspreads are red.
KZ explores the downstairs area. The camera follows him as he walks through the living room and sees an orange leather sofa and recliner. The furniture is all post modern and eclectic. He makes his way to the corner of the room and pauses to admire the CD collection which consists of a diverse selection of music. As he pulls out a Little Brother CD, Rob Mack and Liquor and TV enter through the front door. The camera pans to them.
Rob Mack: Anyone Here????
Liquor and TV is putting little bottles of alcohol that she took from the limo in her bag. She has a disinterested glare on her face.
Liquor and TV: Where is the TV?
She is disgruntled until she sees the bar. It’s fully stocked with top shelf liquor and the coup de grace is a bottle of absinthe imported from Europe. It is green and glowing and completely mesmerizes Liquor and TV.
Rob walks around the mansion taking it all in. He runs into KZ and they exchange a manly handshake. Missy comes running down the stairs and greets Rob Mack with hug. She speaks to Liquor and TV, who mumbles something but doesn’t look back at Missy. Missy has a WTF look on her face but is interrupted by Nikki and T. Cas entering the mansion.
T. Cas: ATL bloggers in the house.
Nikki: (Screaming) YOOOOOO!!!! This shit is niiiiiiice.
T. Cas: She been like this for the whole trip. The only time she stopped talking was when she was playing with herself.
Nikki: Umm. Cas? Shut the fuck up!!! What’s up, folk!
Pleasantries are exchanged and all the bloggers take a tour of their new living arrangements. They walk around the crib, taking note of their surroundings. Of special interest to all are the coed bathrooms, the hot tub, and the huge kitchen stocked with every kind of food imaginable.
Rob Mack: Does anyone know who our last roommate is? It’s supposed to be 7 of us right?
Nikki: I don’t really care who it is. I bet they gonna be cool folk whoever it is.
KZ: It better be a woman. There’s too many dudes in here already. No offense, *Africans*.
T. Cas: None taken. I’m with you. How about that sexy Royce’s Daughter or that fine ass Bloopty Blop?
Missy: I think I hear someone at the door now…
The door opens and the final roommate is revealed to be….
Commercial Break
It was written…
posted by Rashan Jamal at 4:11 AM
20 Comments:
oh SHIT. i'm so excited about this i could BUST.
wait...uh, i already did that today.
er, um...i'm ready to read this rest of this. this is great rashan! see, this could have been a tag too...
lol@me being drunk and looking for the TV already..that sounds about right.
The presence of absinthe? Man you are the best. I'm sure I'll be passed out he rest of this episode.
Can't wait to see who the new roommate is. I hope it's that crazy chick with the fake pic.
Liquor: That’s cool, son! More for me!
lol..on point.
*T. Cas: She been like this for the whole trip. The only time she stopped talking was when she was playing with herself.*
hahahahahaha!!!!
I'm looking forward to this.
Them Damn commercials breaks. UGH!! I cant wait to see who the other roommate it either. This is gonna be great!
Aaaahahahahaha...LMFAO @ the depiction of Missy. "She is cleaning her new Jordans and talking on her broken Nextel phone."
Cracking up at you and Nikki's arguments and Liquors drunken antics are going to be highly entertaining!
I hope there's lots of sex in this house. If not between the housemates, then bring in some guest stars dammit.
And T...puleeze make some references to Rob Mack walking around the house naked or something at one point. Come on...do it for me! :-)
But I hate commercials and you know MTV has some long ass ones.
So far the cast of characters is CRAZY! You and Nikki had me dying. Can't wait for the end of the station break.
LMAO @ Nikki!!
This is one hot azz concept and if anyone could pull it off effectively it would be you. And hell if I can't be one of the roomates then at least let me come over one night to get drunk with Liquor and TV, feel you, Rob Mack and Zeddie up, and sit around talking shyt with Nikki and Missy LMAO!!!
Ok I gotta head to the airport but hopefully this will be a short commercial break.
OMG that was too funny! I'm loving it! You just earned a new loyal reader cuz I'll definitely be back.
well alrighty then. real world take 1!
i think i'm already a fan and i haven't watched the real world since long before i worked on it@
i'll be back for more for sure!
This is brillant!
This was cool, and arrrrg I hate commercial breaks. Can I open up the TiVo version and skip to the good parts??? I think Ms. A needs to be a producer on the show...you gotta show some luv to the West Coasters. I'm oh so glad that you're getting Z outta SA. Man he needs a break. Looks like your Sunday ratings are pretty high...looking forward to more.
@ nikki - I'm glad you like it. You may not like the next part, but remember it's all in good fun. LMAO
@ liquor and tv - no, the crazy chick will not be making an appearance in this post... although that would be hilarious.
@ Trizzy - yeah, this is what happens when you desert me. I'm gonna get some sleep as soon as I'm done responding to these comments.
@ JennayNay - Check the edit. Part 2 is ready...
@ The Goddess - I hope its great, this is another one of my crazy/genius moments. I dont know which one I am.
@ The Mistress - I'll try to add some sex just for you, but I dont think I can write about Rob Mack that way. LMAO
@ chele - I think that's how me and nikki would be if we were ever with each other for an extended period of time.
@ Royce's Daughter - I'll have to write a part just for you. Especially if you down to feel us up. LMAO. I hope I can pull it off.
@ Single Ma - Thanks, I'm glad you checked this out.
@ Miss Ahmad - you worked on the Real World? I haven't watched in a few years, but the idea was still in my head.
@ Dynasty - Thanks for that. Part 2 is even more inspired.
@ Isha - you know what? I didnt even think of my East coast/midwest bias. I'm gonna have to have some West Coast guest stars.
LOL! Don't start the show until I make it over there, LOL!
Dude, Can I make a cameo?
You are so creative. You must find another - wider - outlet for your talents!
MY coworker is sitting here laughing @ me like da hell am I laughing at....ANd me jumping on the bed is def something I would do cuz i have done it before....OMG this is gonna be a riot!!!!!
My guess wil lbe 2 girls will be the first to take a shower together :)
lol i gotta see who this person is lol
ur just burstin wit creative juices huh?
damn u T now i have no choice but 2 log on...
Rashan, please don't make me have sex with no one in the house....
Unless its Missy of course...*lol*
I really am afraid of whats gonna happen next...
LOL LOL this is funny I wonder if it's Stilt...off to find out who it is
Post a Comment
<< Home