Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Blog Real World: Personalities Revealed

The Blog Real World – Personalities Revealed


KZ opens the door and…


The warehouse is full of party revelers standing around waiting quietly. The camera pans around the large space. There are a good 500 people in attendance. There is a huge stage with a DJ stand and speakers and a mike stand. A huge banner reads “Welcome to the Real World: Blog Edition.” On the wheels of steel: none other than DJ Clue. As the roommates timidly make their way inside the warehouse, he scratches a record and “All About The Benjamins” starts playing.

Nsane and Missy immediately make their way to the dance floor and get crunk, followed closely by Nikki and Rob Mack. They start dancing like it’s 1999 all over again. KZ, T. Cas and Liquor and TV post up at the bar and start people watching.

T. Cas – What is this place?

Liquor: I don’t know but there are too many people here. I’m about to get a drink.

T. Cas – Bartender! Let me get a Hen and coke and a Goose and cranberry for the lady. KZ what you want?

KZ: I want one of these ladies. I’ll catch you later.

KZ walks off and starts mingling with a group of women while T. Cas and Liquor and TV sip their drinks at the bar. DJ Clue is playing the popular club records of the day. He stops the music and makes an announcement.

DJ Clue: Cluemanati!!! I’d like to welcome all of you to the party of the year. (yelling) REAL WORLD!!!

The crowd goes wild as he continues.

DJ Clue: Can I get the roommates to the stage??

All of the roommates except T. Cas walk on the stage. T. Cas is sitting at the bar looking uncomfortable. Missy motions for T. to join them but he refuses and stays at the bar.

DJ Clue: Where’s the last roommate? Where he at?

Camera cuts to T. who has a worried countenance.

Confessional Video
T. Cas: Why people don’t believe me when I tell them I’m shy? I just wasn’t trying to stand in front of 500 strangers. For what? Why should I have to do something I don’t wanna do? I’m an individual, shit, I’m a rebel. Fuck DJ Clue.


DJ Clue: Oh well. I guess he ain’t gonna come up. Give a big hand to the cast of The Real World: Blog Edition.

The crowd cheers for the 6 roommates, and then Clue puts on a new record. The roommates go over to T. Cas who is still sitting at the bar.

Liquor: What’s wrong with you, son? You drunk?

T. Cas: Nah, I’m cool

Rob Mack: Why you ain’t come up on stage?

KZ: Man you know how much pussy you just missed out on? Those girls are all over us now.

T. Cas: It ain’t about that… I don’t wanna talk about it.

Nsane: You actin like a straight lame nigga.

Nikki: T on that old bullshit. Stubborn muhfucka! Meanwhile, the rest of you folk are cool as shit.

Missy: Leave him alone. T. you all right with me!

T. Cas: Thanks Ma!

Confessional Video:
Nsane: I don’t know what the hell T’s problem was, but he was blowing my high. We all tryna have a good time and he over there acting all moody. I hope he don’t act like this the whole time we in this house.


DJ Clue plays some down south ATL crunk/snap music. Missy and Nsane run to the dance floor. They start snap dancing, Poole Palace-ing, Lean Wit It/Rock Wit It-ing. KZ, Rob Mack and T. Cas are hanging out watching them.

KZ – Ay, yo! You see them on the floor?

Rob Mack: Did Nsane just grab Missy’s ass?

T. Cas: SHIT!!! I think so. Missy look like she liked that.

KZ: Okay, I can’t take this no more. I need to go find me a broad to dump my sperm in. I’ll check you *Africans* later.

Rob Mack: I hear that. Let me go test out my Mack O Meter. You straight, Cas? You finished actin like a little bitch.

T. Cas (laughing): Fuck you, bruh! I’m cool.

The camera follows KZ while he talks to a mediocre looking woman. He whispers something unintelligible in her ear and they walk off.

The camera cuts to Robert Mack. He is dancing with a short light skinned woman.

The camera then cuts to T. Cas. He is standing at the edge of the dance floor looking out of place. Sad alternative rock music plays over the scene and then the scene fades out to a commercial.


Later that night, the roommates are back at the Real World mansion. The three guys are sharing a room, while Nikki and Nsane are room dogs, and finally Missy and Liquor and TV. All are lying on their respective beds and reminiscing about the evening.

KZ: I’m telling you *Africans*, there was a plethora of ass at the spot. I got 4 numbers without even trying.

Rob Mack: I got 5 my damn self. The Mack is back on the scene. How’d you do Cas?

T. Cas: Man, I didn’t even get one.

KZ: That’s cuz you wasn’t applying yourself. You gotta be aggressive with it.

T. Cas: I hear what you saying, KZ! But you know I got Social Anxiety Disorder. I can’t talk to strangers

Rob Mack: I’m saying though. You can still talk to the girls. I feel what you saying, but this is a once in a lifetime experience.

T. Cas: I hear you, bruh. There’s always tomorrow, right!

KZ: Damn right Cas!

Confessional Video:
Rob Mack: I don’t know what to do with T. Cas. He seems like cool people, but I mean, all those women around and he didn’t even get one phone number. I mean, at least one should have fallen in his lap. That damn Social Anxiety Disorder bullshit. He too old to be acting that way.


Nsane: So did you have fun tonight, Nikki?

Nikki: Yo!! I had a fuckin blast! The only thing would have made that better was if I busted one.

Buzzing Sound!

Nsane: NIKKI!!! You ain’t doing what I think you doing over there?

Nikki: Uhh.. yeah can you excuse me for a minute?

Buzzing sound continues…

Nsane: Ewwww!!! I’m outta here.

Nsane gets out of bed and walks over to Missy and Liquor’s room.

Nsane: Hey guys, can I stay in here tonight? Nikki is ummm.. well… you know what she doing.

Missy: Come on in. Liquor over there knocked the fuck out. It would be good to have some company.

Liquor (sleeping): Hey Bonita. Glad to meet cha/For the cunning stunning you. Miss, I must beseech ya.

Nsane: Oh, she talks in her sleep.

Missy: No, she raps Tribe Called Quest lyrics in her sleep. Lie down and we can talk.

The camera shows Liquor and TV sleeping, then Nsane joining Missy on her bed. They are whispering so the viewer can’t hear what they are saying.

Confessional Video:
Liquor: I wasn’t really sleep. I just didn’t feel like talking. Did I hear what Missy and Nsane were talking about? Yeah, I heard it. But it ain’t my place to tell their business. But lets just say, the two of them have a lot in common. Before we leave this house, I think you will know what’s up.

The camera focuses on Missy and Nsane talking in the bed and then pans out for a wide angle shot. Fade to black.


For the next post, I'm gonna finally get off the first night at the Real World house. I told you I had no idea where this was going. LOL

It was written...


Blogger tjeanise said...

Man -you are killing me ..That is some funny sh*t!!!

Wed Sep 13, 09:50:00 AM  
Blogger thee modern isis said...

It's about damn time.

Wed Sep 13, 09:55:00 AM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...



"Being with you is a top priority/Ain't no need to question thee authority"

Now ILLTV got me singin Tribe lyrics...

Wed Sep 13, 10:00:00 AM  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

DAMN this is literally getting JUICY.........i bet all the men get mad I get more ass than tehy do :) and its a phatty!!!

ANd T-cas is gonna MAN DA FAWK UP for real!!!!

Wed Sep 13, 10:56:00 AM  
Blogger Royce's Daughter said...

LMAOFOTFLOL!!! This shyt is hilarious...

Did Zed say..."I need to go find me a broad to dump my sperm in"? WOW!!

Ok can you hurry up and get to the good part...Missy and Nsane (ummmm WOW Ok!) I'm *dead* at Nikki getting her buzz on...literally!!!

Wed Sep 13, 11:09:00 AM  
Blogger Isha said...

Where's the tip jar? I need to put a five spot in it for you. Good work man. Lovin it so much, I got outta' my sick bed to come read it...back to bed now.

Wed Sep 13, 11:12:00 AM  
Blogger Blah Blah Blah said...

Nikki ain't read this yet?....LMAO

This is hilarious!

Wed Sep 13, 11:18:00 AM  
Blogger nikki said...

aww HELL.

okay, here's the deal. nikki got some so you can stop playing me as the horny bastid. LOL

Wed Sep 13, 11:22:00 AM  
Blogger Miz JJ said...

Lol. This shit is too funny. And you really aren't that anti-social, or else you wouldn't have met up with us.

@nikki: now I need to hop over to your spot to get the details.

Wed Sep 13, 11:44:00 AM  
Blogger Royce's Daughter said...

Nikki got some...*ehem* details please...OK lemme go harrass you on your site LMAO!!

Wed Sep 13, 11:44:00 AM  
Anonymous chele said...

Stop the presses!!! Nikki got some???

Oh ... um Rashan ... good post. Can't wait for the next installment.

Gotta go.

Wed Sep 13, 12:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why was this shyt so true to form?

KZ: Okay, I can’t take this no more. I need to go find me a broad to dump my sperm in. I’ll check you *Africans* later.

You are amazing! T.Cas for president!

Wed Sep 13, 12:41:00 PM  
Blogger Knockout Zed said...

Actually my quote would be more like "I'm 'bout to fill one of these broads with Liquid Baby." But it was quite close. Excellent fuckin' job T. Cas! I can't wait for the next installment.


Wed Sep 13, 12:51:00 PM  
Blogger Knockout Zed said...

Wait, Nikki got some?


Wed Sep 13, 12:52:00 PM  
Blogger nikki said...

okay, before this comment section is hijacked, nikki got tongue some. the end. moving along folk...

Wed Sep 13, 01:24:00 PM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

rofl@the sad, alternative music playing in the background during the sad T. Cas scene

and lol@me saying "son" all the time. That is too funny.

You sure you don't know me in real life?...cause most of this stuff sounds just like me...heading straight to the bar, pretending to be sleep so people won't talk to me, not

Wed Sep 13, 01:56:00 PM  
Blogger TTD said...

i came in too late to catch up on what's going on.. i'll come back over the weekend when i'm bored at my part-time job and read part 1 all the way thru the end... have a good week

Wed Sep 13, 02:33:00 PM  
Blogger Knockout Zed said...

T Cas, I heard a rumor that Nikki got some. Is that true?


Wed Sep 13, 02:43:00 PM  
Blogger So...Wise...Sista said...

Well worth the wait! It was just like, the days when Real World was actually back in the Seattle days...and you were mad you had to wait a whole week for the next episode. Effing brilliant!

Cant wait for the reunion episode. lol

And I better get on Road Rules, dammit! I sent in a tape of me in the shower just like NSane. ;)

Wed Sep 13, 03:29:00 PM  
Blogger P said...


The wait was worth it. . .

Wed Sep 13, 05:39:00 PM  
Blogger Robert L. Mack said...

I've never laughed so hard at a blog, for real....
LOL@ Liquor and TV....such a lush..

I'm LMAO at me "talking to a short, light skin chick"...I wouldn't call you no Bia though...thats kinda harsh...Damn if I got 5 numbers that's a nice fa ya ass right there....I think I might hafta reach for those heights this weekend!

You got Zed down pat!!!!! And Nsane!!!

So that's how Nikki get's down huh? LOL...

Damn man I'm sitting here thinking about this last scene real about trying to visualize!!!!

I'm hooked!

Wed Sep 13, 05:41:00 PM  
Blogger ----- said...

LOL ~ look at my baby the screenwriter! :D You're a mess! I'm addicted...a Blog Real World junkie!


Wed Sep 13, 07:00:00 PM  
Blogger Isha said...

So T. You know you can't end this on this Friday right! You got too much to squish into two days. Ya'll just got in the house and started doing real stuff. This is not enough. Don't let me have to start a blogger petition.

One more more week!

Thu Sep 14, 01:31:00 AM  
Blogger fallen angel said...

uh...what's "poole-palacing?" :-/

Thu Sep 14, 02:00:00 AM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

@ tjeanise - thanks, I'm trying to bring the funny back

@ Isis - you got your nail file on you? Cuz we gonna fight if you keep calling me out. LOL

@ Nsane - and if you need em, I got crazy prophylactics

@ Missy - I know, I'm gonna be hating on you. LOL

@ Royce's Daughter - I can't just bring all of it out now. Gotta hint towards it, for the suspence factor.

@ Isha - I need to get one of those paypal buttons. I aint to proud to accept tips. You aint tired of this yet?

@ Blah, Blah, Blah - Thanks, I dont think nikki liked it very much.

@ nikki - I had to do it cuz i read your post about masturbating while IM'ing about football. Congrats on getting some!!!

@ Miz JJ - I made an exception for you guys. I felt like I knew ya'll from your blogs.

@ Chele- I know, what she gonna write about now.

@ Cocoa - if you saw my post from yesterday, I shaved off my mustache and beard, so I look non threatening like a Black Republican. Maybe I will run for president. But I'm not old enough yet, gotta be 35. (Random fact I remembered from history class)

@ KZ - "liquid baby" When I first read that comment I was at work, and I just bust out laughing. People were looking at me like I was nuts. I heard that rumor...I need her to post about that for confirmation.

@ liquor and tv - a lot of your personality traits, I got from our IM chats. Or maybe, I'm stalking you. LOL

@ TTD - do your thing. It aint going nowhere.

@ So...wise - can you forward that shower tape to LOL

@ P - Thank you, thank you very much. (Said in that guy from Living Color voice. It's late, and I'm corny, please forgive me.)

@ Robert Mack - I wonder who that was you were dancing with. A blogger perhaps? I'm just glad you aint mad at me for not asking first.

@ Trizzy - hey, baby! Don't talk about me being up so late. It's your fault for going to sleep early again. LOL

@ fallen angel - The Poole Palace is a club on Bankhead in ATL. Its that crazy snap dance thing they do in the Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It video.


Thu Sep 14, 04:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You got me hooked!! I keep coming back for more.

Thu Sep 14, 10:41:00 AM  
Blogger Organized Noise said...

You can't end it now. You gotta let it play out.

Thu Sep 14, 08:37:00 PM  
Blogger Honey-Libra said...

Man you gonna have to send out an email when you do this cause I forgot all about it now I have to catch up...dump some sperm in huh LOL...please don't let me hear that in real life cause I will be dying LOL

Fri Sep 22, 09:52:00 AM  
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