Wednesday, January 18, 2006

They Don't Dance No Mo

Inspiration - Goodie M.O.B. "people dance no mo' all they do is this"

What I'm Listening To - Tony Toni Tone - "Sons of Soul"

Question(s) I asked myself today - How many more days until Friday?

I was turning through the channels tonight and saw that "You Got Served" was on one of the Cinemax channels. That reminded me of a funny conversation I had at work a while back. I have a theory. Not so much a theory as a personal preference. I hate movies about dancing. I think they all suck. Just hear me out.

Exhibit A: "You Got Served" It's not so much the dancing that makes these movies bad, it's the message that dancing can be your salvation. These dudes was some hustlers who just so happened to dance or some dancers that just so happened to hustle. Every thing was all f*cked up until they won a dance contest. Come on, bruh! The whole contrived plot point of Marques Houston hurting his leg and Lil Saint getting killed was just stupid as hell. Now that they won this contest everything is going to be all right. That's just dumb. Not to mention, how exactly do you judge a dance contest?

Exhibit B: "Dirty Dancing." Every woman I know loves this movie. It's supposedly so romantic. What I think it is about is an old ass man trying to get with an underage girl. R. Kelly did that and is on trial. Once again, dancing overcomes all their problems. They dance good enough that the girl's father accepts everything he was fighting against for the whole movie. And have you seen Patrick Swayze? He has to be the gayest actor in Hollywood or maybe I just think that b/c he was cross dressing in "To Wong Foo."

Exhibit C: "Honey." I ain't going to front. Jessica Alba is sexy as hell. But when is the last time you heard of a famous dancer. Debbie Allen, right? Anyway, Honey helps out her community by organizing a dance benefit to raise money for a studio. Here we go again. Dancing saves the day. I guess all the thugs in the neighborhood are going to stop selling drugs and learn how to twirl really fast. Yeah, right.

Exhibit D: "Footloose." This one is a classic. Kevin Bacon moves to a town where dancing is illegal. Maybe there are some places like this in America but that premise just sounds ridiculous to me. Even worse, he rebels against this dancing ban and becomes a hero. A hero for dancing. None of the repressed town people thought about saying F*ck You to the town until Kevin Bacon comes in with his dancing. What about that scene when he is trying to teach that other guy how to dance? They have got to be the goofiest white boys in the history of cinema. I know this was the 80's, but the dancing scenes at the prom in this movie are freaking horrible. I used to like this movie when I was kid, but now it is just embarrassing.

Exhibit E: Breakin' 1 & 2. In 1984, you couldn't tell me nothing about Breakin'. I wanted to be Turbo. The scene when he was pop lockin with a broom was the sh*t. I even remember hanging out in the basement practicing my moves. I saw Breakin' (I can't remember if it was 1 or 2) a couple of years ago and I was disgusted. The acting was horrible, they made the white girl the star of the movie and the plot was stupid. It was similar to Honey, in that they had to save a community center from an evil land baron. And how did they do it: by dancing, of course. It's amazing how many movies are made that show dancing as a savior. The worst part of this movie though is the wardrobe. I think I said this about 20 times during the movie: "Why that nigga wearing a half shirt?" I mean dudes were rocking the most feminine outfits they could find. Half shirts, pink clothes, studded jewelry, and those roach clip feather earrings. This was just a terrible movie that made me think that I must have been a stupid kid to like it. Just a piece of advice, if you haven't seen "Breakin" as an adult, do NOT go get the DVD. Your precious childhood memories will be shattered.

There's a few other things that bug me about dance movies. They all basically have the same plot. They all have the same dance practice montage. They all come up with some made up adversity that the dance hero has to overcome. Now I'm not entirely opposed to dancing in movies. I actually think those Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly movies are cool. But those movies are different, they have dancing in the movie instead of being about dancing. This is just my own personal opinion but movies about dancing suck. Maybe I feel this way b/c I can't dance. I'm open to any opinions anyone has.

It was written...


Blogger nikki said...

lmao@'breakin'...was it really that bad? i have to admit, i've never seen the movie. even back then, it just seemed a little corny to me. i think it was all the pink and feathers...

the difference between the dancing movies of this era and those of the 40s and 50s is just as you say...plot. the dancing in those movies created an abstract world to coincide with the concrete world being depicted in the movie. for instance, in 'an american in paris', kelly's character was a painter and caron's character was a perfume sales lady. they only did one dance in the movie as the painter and perfume sales lady. the rest of the dancing took place in kelly's imagination, a seamless transition made through his paintings.

dancing movies now have none of that. it's because dancing has become practical. alot of people are doing it and they see it as a chance to get out of the ghetto via dancing in videos or getting on broadway, etc. it's almost like it has become too real, to the point of losing its mystical power to transplant folk into a different world.

back then, only ballet dancers saw any decent money. dancing back then was about the love for the language and expression of dancing, and the movies reflected that. whenever i check out gene kelly movies, one thing i notice is that no matter what, the dancing was always an expression of his love for the art of dancing. he wasn't doing it to be sexy, he wasn't using it as a cheap vehicle to spread his fame. he danced because he loved to dance and he wanted folks to share in that love.

i'd love to see THAT kind of dancer making a movie today. i think that's the only way the movies will improve.

Tue Feb 07, 09:02:00 AM  
Blogger nikki said...

oh, and for the record, i LOVE footloose. i think it comes close to the things i was talking about because the plot was about dancing for the love of dance.

Tue Feb 07, 09:08:00 AM  
Blogger Nika Laqui said...

"The the record show", I love when Claire Huxtable says that...*lol*

I hated Dirty Dancin....I just watched it cause it was the closest thing to porn I could watch at that young age...*lol*

Wed May 17, 06:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work » »

Thu Apr 26, 03:24:00 PM  

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