I Stand Accused

Inspiration - "I Stand Accused" - Isaac Hayes "I stand accused/ Of lovin' you too much/ And I hope I hope it's not a crime/ 'Cause if it is, I'm guilty Of lovin' you, you, you" I know it ain't hip hop, but I love his music. I can listen to "Hot Buttered Soul" everyday and not get tired of it. Plus, Ike has been sampled so much by rappers that he is like an architect of the hip hop movement.

What I'm Listening To: A bunch of R. Kelly joints I downloaded

Question(s) I Asked Myself Today: "If Duke loses, can I still win my tournament pool?" Yes, I need Duke to lose in this round and Gonzaga to lose in the final four and Connecticut to win the whole thing. Then I can win bragging rights.

A while back, I got accused of a heinous crime. Somebody had the nerve to imply that I was sensitive. I was shocked. T. is a lot of things: T. is abrasive, T. is arrogant, T. is an asshole. But T. is NOT sensitive. I immediately recoiled at the image of me with a greasy S-Curl wearing a yellow suit and dancing around like Ralph Tresvant. You know, crooning to the ladies about how they need a man with sensitivity. I can't go out like that. However, after my Ally McBeal type fantasy was over, I thought about it. Maybe I am just a little sensitive.

I do care about people's feelings. Even though I sometimes talk without thinking, when I do mull it over, I try my best to sugar coat things or say them in a way that won't offend people. Case in point, there is a girl I work with that is, let's just say, hair and make up challenged. She draws in her lip line with a pencil and she comes out looking like the Joker from Batman. She also slathers her hair down on her face with gel. When the gel gets old, it gets all dry, crusty and flaky. While what I really wanna say to her is, "you need to wash your hair because it looks like you just got a money shot in a porno," I had to find a way to say that tactfully to avoid hurting her feelings. So instead of destroying her with my harsh words, sensitive T. suggested that she do her hair differently because it would look good on her. It didn't work, but you get the point. I was sensitive about that because I cared about her feelings.

I also do care about political and societal issues as well. Like most people, Hurricane Katrina hit me hard. Call me sensitive if you want, but I just couldn't bear to see those children suffering. I donated as much as I could at the time and gave away a bunch of old clothes. I think about the ramifications of our country's political landscape and how it will affect the poor and underserved members of our community. I guess in that way I do have some sensitivity in me.

On another note, I think I can display sensitivity in my personal relationships too. I try not to treat people disrespectfully. While you always hear about cheating male dogs, I have only cheated on someone one time, and that shit will never happen again. (Cut me some slack, I was in college at the time.) I like to think that I really listen when my girlfriends are talking and respect their dreams and aspirations. I know where my respect for women comes from. I grew up in a household with 4 generations of women. I lived with my great grandmother, my grandmother, my mother and my sister. If that doesn't teach you how to treat women, nothing will. Now, I still have a problem expressing this sensitivity, but it's there and I'm working on being more overt with it.

So, after my initial rush of testosterone, I think I am okay with the label of being sensitive. I had to realize that being sensitive doesn't mean that you are suspect. My question for all of you ladies reading this is this: Do you want your man to display sensitivity or do you prefer him to be a so called "real man?" Also have you had a boyfriend that was too sensitive? Where do you draw the line? Sorry to give you homework, but I am really curious about what you guys think.

It was written...