Wednesday, June 07, 2006

My First Stalker (part 1)

You know how the Discovery Channel has “Shark Week?” Well I guess this is my blog's “Stalker Week.” Continuing the theme from Monday’s post, I wanna tell you about my first stalker. I promise I will post part 2 tomorrow. I have already written it, it just was getting too long.

I was 18 years old, going to college and working a part time job at St. Joseph’s Hospital. I worked in the dietary department, which was just a fancy way of saying kitchen. I was somewhat an anomaly in the department: educated, young, and somewhat bougie. My co workers generally fell in one of two categories. First, you had the older, high school dropouts. Most of the women were 50 and over, and looked like life had been hard to them. I mean instead of washing dishes and preparing food, they looked like they were picking cotton under a blazing Mississippi sun. The other group consisted of workers from a halfway house. Most of them were developmentally challenged, and had either a physical or mental handicap. Of course, there were other types who worked there too, like the poor college students like me and the career stock boy types, but they were in the minority. I’ll admit, it was a little disconcerting at first. I mean, what did a young recent high school graduate have in common with these co workers. Well, for one, we were all Black (except the department head, who was some indescribable montage of racial matter) and two we were all getting pimped for the minimum and sub minimum wage. It almost seems unreal, but I started off making $4.75 an hour to wash dishes and push around the patient food carts. It was a simple job, nothing really to it, but still, can I get a little change? The halfway house crew was in even worse shape as half their paycheck went to Chatham County for their housing and counseling. As I became more comfortable in my surroundings, I made it my mission to build a bond with my fellow co workers. Before long, I was a member of all the cliques in the dietary department. I vibed with the older ladies, the “crazy” crew, the college students, and the lifers. I effortlessly transitioned from conversations about the latest movie to conversations about the Cash 3 numbers to more banal discussions of a woman’s derriere. One of my favorite members of the "crazy" crew used to walk around all day commenting on asses and saying he was “a backyard man.” Good times, LOL. Before you knew it, T. Casanova had taken over as the unofficial president of the dietary department.

The best parts of my work day were 4:30 and 6:30. That’s when lucky T. got to push the carts of food upstairs. There were 7 floors in the hospital and 2 carts per floor. These carts were pretty big, I could manage to fit 2 in the service elevators, pushing one and pulling the other. Now you know once I got to the nurses station I had to show out. I took every opportunity to chat up the hot nurses while I was delivering the food. They were always friendly and cordial, even though they were probably 7 – 10 years older than me and not giving me any play. My favorite nurses were on the 3rd, 5th, and 7th floors. They way they filled out those scrubs…okay, sorry I got carried away. Anyway the hot nurses almost made me forget that I was a germophobe working in a pit of pestilence. The point of this digression is that I was well known around the hospital and that those nurses were HOT!!!

I had been working at the hospital for about a year and a half, when the drama went down. I was dating Lisa, one of the Aries from my trilogy. Out of sheer coincidence, Lisa’s mother and aunt also worked in the same department, so I had to be careful with my flirtatious nature. I mostly hung out with Yosetta, a girl I went to high school with at work and her younger brother Alphonso. We used to laugh and joke and play practical jokes on each other all the time. So when I found a secret admirer note on my car one night after work, I just knew it was them messing with me. The note read “T. I have been noticing you and wish I had the courage to speak to you. You are a very handsome and charming young man and I hope that I get to know you better.” It was signed Angel. Like I said, I thought it was a joke and immediately showed it to my friends, laughing hysterically. They denied having anything to do with the note, but in my mind, I knew it was them.

A couple of months went by and I had forgotten all about the secret admirer letter. Besides, I had a serious steady girlfriend and wasn’t really thinking about who could be writing me notes. Out of the blue, I received another note on my car. This time, I was intrigued. It couldn’t be Yosetta, she wouldn’t go that far for a joke. I mean I would, but she wouldn’t. That’s when I got the first inkling that this could be real. I went into full on Columbo mode, comparing people’s handwriting to my secret admirer’s penmanship. It was like CSI: Savannah in there, only without the neatly wrapped up conclusion. Yeah, I had no idea who wrote it, but I had some ideas. In my young mind, it could only be a pretty woman who was jocking me. There was Linda and Shandrena from the cafeteria. They were both sexy. Then there was the nurses upstairs. I already mentioned how hot they were. My ego swelled to gigantic proportions at the prospect of one of these beautiful ladies wanting to get at me. I don’t think I’m giving away the story by telling you now, it was NOT one of my fantasy women.

A week before my 20th birthday, I found another note on my car. This one said that she would be leaving me a gift for my birthday. From that I deduced that it had to be someone who knew me personally, not just seen me around. It was time for a stakeout. On my birthday, I had my homeboy Kareem posted up in the parking lot watching my car. (Yeah, we were dumb) Although he didn’t know all my coworkers, he could describe her to me and I would finally know who it was. Kareem spent my entire 4 hour shift watching the ride without results. Either she chickened out, or Kareem somehow blew his cover. Regardless, my birthday passed with no contact from the secret admirer. The next day however I found a wrapped present on my car with a note that said Happy Birthday. Again the note was signed Angel. I opened the gift and it was some cologne. I can’t remember what kind it was, but it was the kind that you used to get from the Mary Kay books, and now can find at the discount perfume shop in the mall. I was intrigued at what kind of person would buy me a (cheap) birthday gift but not even speak to me. Was it someone I saw everyday, maybe even had a conversation with? I would soon find out who my secret admirer was and learn a little something about stalkers in the process.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

More About Cologne You Can Find Here

Wed Jun 07, 05:45:00 AM  
Blogger chele said...

You got spam! You got spam!

Anyway, this is only gonna be two parts, right? I'm dying to know who this chick is. I wonder why we always imagine our stalkers to be the finest thing on two legs. BTW -- I changed my routine ... yours was the first blog I read today. Don't you feel special?

Wed Jun 07, 08:11:00 AM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

rofl@high karate

*takes out CSI kit*
-dusts the cologne bottle with fingerprint dust
-takes a cast of the shoe prints next to your vehicle
-takes hair samples from windshield

It was the butler?

Wed Jun 07, 08:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

COme on cassa tell us please??????????? Your stories are off da hook

Wed Jun 07, 09:59:00 AM  
Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

LOL. Hell they can keep their crushes to themselves if all I'm gonna get is some cheap ass cologne!

Wed Jun 07, 10:53:00 AM  
Blogger Tenacious said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Wed Jun 07, 11:57:00 AM  
Blogger Tenacious said...

Dun Dun Dun

And so it starts....*lol*

At least they aint stealing baby pictures *he gets extra credit by the way in the course* and taking random shots of you *shudder*

Good post, can't wait until the next one *lol*

Sorry my battery was D-E-A-D since the BF wanted to be a fussy Gus about the computer *lol*

Wed Jun 07, 11:57:00 AM  
Blogger nikki said...


this is gonna be good...

Wed Jun 07, 12:00:00 PM  
Blogger Miz JJ said...

A dude will be flattered by notes like that. I would be getting walked to my car by security. I am anxious to see which group the stalker comes from. I am guessing the crazy group.

Wed Jun 07, 02:47:00 PM  
Blogger "N" Search of Ecstasy said...

Gosh, she really kept that secret admirer thing going and was good at. She left you a birthday present and told you about ahead of time and the secret was still under wraps? Interesting!

I see you and Nikki got something in common making us wait for the end of these tales ;-)

That ain't right! LOL

Wed Jun 07, 10:08:00 PM  
Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

Yeah, I'm curious as well. Can't wait to see who it is.

Wed Jun 07, 10:12:00 PM  
Blogger cupcake27 said...


Wed Jun 07, 10:30:00 PM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

@ high karate- thanks for padding my comments. that's crazy that I was talking about cologne in the post and I got spam about cologne.

@ chele - you just don't know how much I'm beaming right now. Only 2 parts, if blogger ever stops acting a fool, I'm gonna post part 2

@ liqour and tv- you know I'm heated at you right now, right? I shouldn't even acknowledge your funny comment. Can we start a petition to keep your blog open?

@ anon - come back first thing tomorrow and feel my disappointment

@ stiltwalker - all I know it was a green bottle with a leaf on it. I gave it away in some Secret Santa thing

@ tenacious - there was some craziness, but at least she didnt steal no baby pics

@ nikki - I hope you like part 2, its funny now, but back then it wasnt cool

@ miz jj - i should have got security, but I really thought it was on of the hot nurses, not who it turned out to be

@ n search - i dont know what happens, I start writing and cant stop. it would have been way too long

@ humanity critic - come back first thing tomorrow and its on, provided Blogger is working

Wed Jun 07, 10:38:00 PM  
Blogger T. Cas said...

@ everybody - let me tell you what my good friend cupcake did: Why did she put a note on my car that said:

“T. I have been noticing you and wish I had the courage to speak to you. You are a very handsome and charming young man and I hope that I get to know you better.”

She had cut out letters from magazines. That shit looked like I was about to get kidnapped. Cupcake, YOU A DAMN FOOL LOL

Wed Jun 07, 10:42:00 PM  
Blogger The Mistress said...

Yay, I love stalker stories!!! (clapping my hands excitedly)

This is hysterical!

I will be checking back frequently now that I'm hooked so don't keep us hanging for long!!

Thu Jun 08, 04:33:00 AM  
Blogger Cocoa Girl said...

Oh my gosh...was it someone from the 'crazy crew'...

I'm scared and this ain't even a horror story!

Thu Jun 08, 09:24:00 AM  
Blogger Cocoa Girl said...

BTW, *high-fiving mrs jj*

Thu Jun 08, 09:31:00 AM  
Blogger i like liquor and tv said...

I'm sayin, blogger's been trippin lately. Even if I wanted to post I wouldn't be able to.

Fri Jun 09, 08:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Ms. Blaize said...

This is my first time hitting your page and I have to say that I am thoroughly entertained!

As for stalking incidents....shhoooottt, you came to the right place. Do I have an incident for you??

Take your time though! You'd have to pace yourself for this one!

Take care,

Ms. Blaize
(Jaine Blaize)

Sat Jun 10, 09:43:00 PM  
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